Weird News

Softpaw · Postby **Softpaw** » Sat Jan 07, 2006 11:06 pm

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Rooster @ Jan 6 2006, 07:21 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> You leave a computer in charge and it'll break down faster than a car with electronics made in the UK.  </td></tr></table>  [stares outside at the Land Rover with an inexplicably non-working alternator...]

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Sun Jan 08, 2006 1:41 am

"Not for human consumption."  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Jan 6, 4:42 PM EST Heat Gun Wins Wacky Warning Label Contest DETROIT (AP) -- A warning that consumers shouldn't use a heat gun that produces temperatures of 1,000 degrees as a hairdryer has won an anti-lawsuit group's award for the wackiest label of the year. The Wacky Warning Label Contest, in its ninth year, is conducted by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch as part of an effort to show the effects of lawsuits on warning labels. "When judges see it as their job to dismiss cases that are rooted in frivolous theories, we'll see fewer wacky labels and more fairness in the courts," said Robert B. Dorigo Jones, the group's president. The $500 first prize went to Tom Brunelle of Holland, who spotted the heat gun warning. The $250 second prize award went to Jam Sardar of Grand Rapids for a label on a kitchen knife that warns: "Never try to catch a falling knife." Third prize of $100 went to Alice Morgan of La Junta, Colo. She found a cocktail napkin with a map of the waterways around Hilton Head Island, S.C., printed on it that cautioned: "Not to be used for navigation." An honorable mention went to Kirk Dunham of Seabrook, Texas. He found this warning on a bottle of dried bobcat urine used to keep pests away from garden plants: "Not for human consumption." --- Buy AP Photo Reprints On the Net: Wacky Warning Label Contest: <a href='http://www.wackywarnings.com' target='_blank'>http://www.wackywarnings.com</a> </td></tr></table>

Ankaris · Postby **Ankaris** » Mon Jan 09, 2006 9:01 am

A noble sacrifice? I saw this on BBC News24, felt bad for the mouse but it brightened up my morning <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' />  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Flaming Mouse Burns Down House Homeowner Threw Pest On Burning Pile Of Leaves POSTED: 3:25 pm MST January 8, 2006 UPDATED: 3:34 pm MST January 8, 2006 FORT SUMNER, N.M. -- You've probably heard of a house fire, but how about a "mouse fire?" An 81-year-old Fort Sumner homeowner said he caught the mouse inside his house and just wanted to get rid of it. The man threw the critter in a pile of burning leaves near his home, but it ran back to the house on fire. Village Fire Chief Juan Chavez said the mouse ran to just beneath a window and the flames spread up the window and throughout the house. All contents of the home were destroyed, but no injuries were reported, Chavez said. Unseasonably dry and windy conditions have charred more than 53,000 acres and destroyed 10 homes in southeastern New Mexico in recent weeks.</td></tr></table>

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 2:23 pm

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Venerable restaurant is just trading spaces South Sea Island chic put Trader Vic's on the map, but now the artifacts must go By Jon Anderson Tribune staff reporter Published January 10, 2006 Trader Vic's--a great place to drink, eat and carouse. But have you ever tried to move one of those things? Take the stuff now sitting in the basement of the Palmer House Hilton--please! Outrigger canoes, hanging from the ceiling. Giant sacred statues. Wood carvings, the size of a man. Monster clamshells. Room after room of heavy tables, carved from monkey wood. And a one-piece bar--a centerpiece for the last 48 years--that curves around a corner out of sight. Not to forget the 4-foot-high, 4-foot-wide, wood-fired Chinese cooking pots. On Monday, architects and engineers, looking toward the future, began preliminary work in the lower-level expanse that the 240-seat restaurant occupied in the hotel at 17 E. Monroe St. before it closed on New Year's Eve. They plan to convert it into retail space. But there will be a whole lot of movin' and shakin' goin' on before that day comes. "Many of the artifacts we will remove," Hans Richter said last week. The president and chief executive officer of the Trader Vic's chain, based in San Francisco, which has three dozen of the South Sea Islands restaurants around the world, was here to take inventory. He was also here to muse as he motioned a reporter into the locked-up island retreat for a look-around. "This was one of the oldest Trader Vic's," Richter said, settling into a booth by the bar, underneath a fierce-looking Japanese devil mask. "A lot of these items go back to the 1950s. The architect who designed this for us had a great sense of space. It was big--but it also had a sense of intimacy." One thing that Richter plans to save is a stone penguin carved by Victor Bergeron, the original Trader Vic. He is also negotiating with movers to box up the bar, the tables, the chairs, the clamshells, the masks, the statues and the outrigger canoes. "We've got guys who can pack all that. Whatever somebody got in, we can get out," Steve Hrushocy, general manager of Salvage One, said Monday. His company, which crates and moves everything from limestone columns to ornamental lions, is negotiating for the moving contract. The tide of change that hit the restaurant began last August when Thor Equities of New York purchased the Palmer House from Hilton Hotel Corp. When word spread that the new owners planned to cancel their lease, "we reached out to them," Grant DePorter, president of Harry Carry's Restaurant Group, said Monday. The new Trader Vic's, in the River North area, will be roughly the same size, with much the same stuff, DePorter promised. Artifacts will be shipped to San Francisco for refurbishing, though souvenir-hunters have cut down the load by stripping the restaurant of ship models, seashells, table silver, table lamps, drink decorations and almost every glass with a Trader Vic's label, Richter said. What can't be saved is the old wallpaper, made from mulberry tree bark that is soaked, pounded and painted with vegetable juices. And the fabled Chinese cooking pots, too bulky to move, will be chopped to bits. Copyright © 2006, Chicago Tribune </td></tr></table>

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Fri Jan 13, 2006 8:11 pm

New Findings on the Donner family . . .  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> http://www.chicagotribune.com/technolog ... br>From the Los Angeles Times No Proof Donner Clan Were Cannibals The pioneer party split into two camps. New evidence suggests only one group resorted to eating human flesh. By Eric Bailey Times Staff Writer January 13, 2006 SACRAMENTO -- Nudging the history books, archeologists studying one of two campsites used by the ill-fated Donner Party during a snowbound Sierra winter 160 years ago announced Thursday that a study had unearthed no physical evidence of cannibalism. The stranded emigrants settled into two camps during the harsh winter of 1846 and '47, and previous scientific studies confirmed cannibalism at the principal encampment, on the east shore of what is now Donner Lake. The new findings do not conclusively prove that human flesh was ever consumed at the smaller camp -- where the families of George and Jacob Donner sought refuge -- but they do provide insights into their efforts to survive during four months beside Alder Creek. "It's possible no cannibalism took place at Alder Creek, and it's also possible that proof simply can't be found," said Julie Schablitsky, a University of Oregon anthropologist. "No body doesn't necessarily mean no crime." Cannibalism has long been the central focus of the Donner Party tragedy, which achieved mythic proportions as a tale of suffering and stoicism set in America's westward expansion. The wagon train of more than 80 emigrants was trapped in the teeth of the Sierra by winter, and half died amid starvation. Gory witness accounts by rescuers told of survivors resorting to eating human flesh. The results from the archeological dig there cheered a modern descendant of the Donner family. "It's wonderful news," said Lochie Paige, whose great-grandmother, Elitha Donner, made it out of the Sierra alive but saw the rest of her years shadowed by the tragedy. "My dad always said she had not been any part of cannibalism. Now we have the scientific proof," Paige said. Schablitsky and her collaborator in the three-year study, anthropologist Kelly Dixon of the University of Montana, announced their findings during a 20-minute presentation at the Society for Historical Archeology conference here. They formed a team of scientists in 2003 and applied the techniques of modern forensic crime examiners to look anew at one of the American West's most enduring tales of tragedy. They used DNA tests, electron microscopes and other modern research tools to analyze more than 16,000 bone fragments -- most measuring less than a half inch -- found in the principal cook fire used by the Donner family over four months. But they discovered no human bones. Instead, the Donner brothers, their families and several hired hands appear to have slowed the effects of starvation by consuming their cattle, horses, a pet dog and by bagging wild game, such as deer, rabbit and rodents. "Their aversion to cannibalism is apparent," Dixon said, noting the steps the family took to hunt food, slaughter their domestic animals and accounts by survivors and witnesses that they ate boiled rawhide and shoestrings. Previous scientific studies at the lake camp confirmed cannibalism there by unearthing human bone fragments. But Alder Creek, now a commemorative campground about three miles north of Truckee and bustling Interstate 80, has long been dogged by mystery and conflicting accounts about whether cannibalism really occurred there. Several of the Donner family's youngest members, who made it out alive, have long maintained that they managed to avoid cannibalism, and a young teamster -- one of the party's hired hands -- who initially suggested flesh had been eaten later changed his story. Given those discrepancies, Dixon and Schablitsky sought to confirm the truth. They excavated the site during the summers of 2003 and 2004, finding the charcoal stain they conclude was the prime cook site at Alder Creek, where 22 pioneers began the winter. Eight of them died there. The archeologists found scores of artifacts -- broken pieces of floral pattern cookware unique to the era, glassware, wagon hardware, steel oxen shoes and steel buttons. Trapped, the pioneers also appeared to have attempted to create a semblance of normal life. The anthropologists found pieces from a slate writing board they suspect may have been used to tutor the children, though microscopic examination could discern no writing. Bone fragments had been burned and showed the signs of chop marks and "pot polish," a microscopic sheen that appears as they tumble in the roiling waters of a cast-iron cook pot. The Donners, the researchers said, were cracking bone to remove marrow and boiling the bone to extract remaining nutrients in a broth. No DNA could be extracted, but analysis of the microscopic structure of the bone helped researchers determine the wide range of species the pioneers consumed to survive, Dixon said. The absence of human bones does not mean the Donner clan did not resort at some point to cannibalism at Alder Creek in the last few weeks before the last survivors were rescued, Schablitsky said. She said the most likely explanation for the absence of human bone is that flesh and organs might have been eaten, but the bodies were not hacked down to the bone. After 160 years, she said, any unburned bone would have lacked the molecular integrity to survive decomposition in the acidic Sierra soil of the wet, pine-ringed meadow. But if no cannibalism ever occurred there, what explains historical accounts by rescuers who reached Alder Creek in early March and reported seeing butchered bodies? Schablitsky said the remains of those who died at the camp -- three teamsters; George Donner; Jacob Donner; his wife, Elizabeth; and their two toddler sons -- could have been torn apart by wild animals. Even the freeze and thaw in the snowdrifts might have given them the appearance of being cannibalized, she said. "They're not medical examiners," she said. "Would they be able to tell the difference between decomposing bodies and those that have been cannibalized?" While the study has "illuminated the corners of the cannibalism question," Dixon said, the elusive absence of an ironclad answer skirts a central focus of their research. Their overriding mission is to revise the historical narrative, offering a fuller account of the daily travails the pioneer families endured during those awful four months in the snow -- and to offer some closure for modern-day ancestors who have always wondered. "To have someone like Lochie Paige who is deeply affected by our archeology is quiet different for us," Dixon said. "This is much more personal for all of us." Copyright © 2006, The Los Angeles Times </td></tr></table>

Gizensha · Postby **Gizensha** » Sun Jan 15, 2006 7:51 am

<a href='http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/01/13/segway_oz_ban/' target='_blank'>http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/01/13 ... Begin-"The Register"+--> <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: ("The Register")</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Aussie coppers crushed to discover Segways are illegal Keep walking. Nothing to scoot here By Ashlee Vance in Mountain View Published Friday 13th January 2006 21:43 GMT Some Australian police officers hoping to embarrass themselves by riding around on Segways have run into a problem - the law. Police in Victoria looked to prop their squadrons up on the Segway scooters. The over-hyped device has become a favorite mode of transport for coppers here in the US, as it opens up a whole new realm of excuses for "the one who biked, skateboarded or jogged away." The Aussie police officers apparently wanted the same excuse luxury but were denied Segway "After announcing last year that they hoped to buy several of the two-wheeled electric devices for city patrols, senior police were told by VicRoads that it is illegal to ride Segways, which are designed for footpaths, in public spaces in Victoria," reported The Age. "VicRoads considers the devices, which can be ridden on private property, to be the legal equivalent of miniature 'monkey bikes,' outlawed by the State Government last year." Besides the obvious shame, riding a Segway in public carries a $115 fine in Victoria. Local police and a Segway importer have vowed to fight this policy. "Let all our officers look like spoiled losers" might be the refrain. A whopping 100 Segways have been sold Down Under, according to the paper, making the scooter about as popular as the 1996 Peanut Butter Enema Engage. (Thanks for pointing that out, Nathan.) Given the meager consumer embrace of the Segway, it's no surprise to see how the scooter's inventor has been spending his time. Dean Kamen has created a product that allows him to drink his own pee.</td></tr></table>  Why in the name of heck would a copper want to use a Segway as opposed to walking, anyway?

Softpaw · Postby **Softpaw** » Sun Jan 15, 2006 8:07 am

Because walking is too tiring, I guess. I'd rather use a car, personally <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... tongue.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tongue.gif' />

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Sun Jan 15, 2006 11:09 pm

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nati ... >President turning one heck of a phrase By James Gerstenzang Tribune Newspapers January 15, 2006 WASHINGTON -- It is presidential language that would make Harry S. Truman blanch --not for its saltiness but, heck, for just the opposite. On a daily basis, sometimes several times an hour, the word "heck" creeps into President Bush's public pronouncements. People he wants to praise, as well as places, ideas and winning sports teams are all told that they are, or have done, a "heck" of a good thing. You might think Bush would have retired the expression after Hurricane Katrina, when he infamously told Mike Brown, who led the government's much-derided response: "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." But the verbal quirk turned up in Bush's speeches at least four times last week. One day this month, he used it four times in a 10-minute address. "New Orleans is reminding me of the city I used to come to visit. It's a heck of a place to bring your family," the president effused Thursday in talking about the city's reconstruction efforts. Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, he said later in the day, had "fashioned one heck of a piece of legislation for the people of this important state." A day earlier, in Louisville, Bush apologized to his audience for not bringing his wife with him: "She is a heck of a person," he observed. And Margaret Spellings, he said Monday, is "doing a heck of a job as the secretary of education." The often-used word shows up in the weightiest of moments. In a speech Jan. 5, Bush sought to draw a distinction between Western democracy and what he said was the flawed vision of America's enemies in the battle against terrorism. "We're going to win," he said. "Our ideology is a heck of a lot more hopeful than theirs." Why all the "hecks?" "It's a way to be a common person, and it may be who he is," said Montague Kern, an associate professor of media and politics at Rutgers University. "It gives impact to an idea, without having to explain the idea," she said. "This is an advantage that Bush has always had--the idea that he's a common person. He's more complex than that, but that's the public persona." Bush told the Boston Red Sox, who were visiting the White House after their long-awaited World Series victory in 2004, that "this is a heck of a team." He even threw in a little praise for the mayor of Boston. "You've had a heck of a year, mayor," Bush said. Of course, that kind of praise did little good for former FEMA Director Brown, the "Brownie" who Bush said was "doing a heck of a job" responding to Katrina. Ten days later, Brown was looking for a new job. Copyright © 2006, Chicago Tribune </td></tr></table>

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Mon Jan 16, 2006 3:25 pm

Public urination an issue in St. Louis . . .  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Jan 16, 6:40 AM EST Lawmaker Aims to Lower Urination Penalties ST. LOUIS (AP) -- Ken Ortmann, an alderman who owns a local tavern wants to lower the penalties for public urination before the Feb. 25 Mardi Gras Parade. Ortmann said his bill would allow police to issue different citations for public urinators who try to be discreet than they might for those who are more open about it. "There's a difference between going in the middle of the street, in front of God and country, and somebody who is behind a Dumpster," Ortmann said. Public urination is now classified as lewd and lascivious conduct, which carries a penalty of 90 days in jail, a $100 to $500 fine, or both. Ortmann's proposal doesn't change the maximum penalties, but he hopes the actual penalty would be much less. But public urination remains plenty offensive to residents of Soulard, where some homeowners leave their sprinklers on to discourage Marti Gras partygoers from relieving themselves on their lawns. "That's what portable toilets are for," resident Mary Linden said. "We don't appreciate going out and seeing it - the people are often belligerent." © 2006 The Associated Press.</td></tr></table>

Tom Flapwell · Postby **Tom Flapwell** » Mon Jan 16, 2006 4:06 pm

Uh oh, maybe I'd better cut down on my own frequent use of "heck" online.

GhostWay · Postby **GhostWay** » Mon Jan 16, 2006 4:45 pm

I wonder why more people don't try to heckle Bush. <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... tongue.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tongue.gif' />

DesertFoxCat · Postby **DesertFoxCat** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 8:27 pm

I personally prefer the previous wrestler-turned-governor (this one better not get elected).  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (AP)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> 'Vampyre' candidate backs public impaling Associated Press MINNEAPOLIS - One gubernatorial candidate in Minnesota is giving a whole new meaning to the "dark side" of politics. A man who calls himself a satanic priest plans to run for governor on a 13-point platform that includes the public impaling of terrorists at the state Capitol building. Jonathon Sharkey, also known as "The Impaler", plans to launch his gubernatorial campaign on - when else? - Friday the 13th. He'll make the announcement in Princeton. "I'm going to be totally open and honest," said the 41-year-old leader of the "Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party." "Unlike other candidates, I'm not going to hide my evil side," he said. In Minnesota, anyone who pays the $300 filing fee can get on the gubernatorial ballot and it seems that every year a few eccentric candidates make the rounds. Sharkey raises the bar. For one thing, he told the Star Tribune in an e-mail that he drinks blood. Including the impaling of terrorists, rapists, drug dealers and other criminals, Sharkey's platform includes emphasis on education, tax breaks for farmers and better benefits for veterans. Sharkey said he worships Lucifer and, while he says he has nothing against Christians, he calls the "Christian God the Father" his "mortal enemy." Sharkey said he was injured during a parachute jump with the Army in 1982 and receives veterans' disability benefits. He has not yet registered as a gubernatorial candidate, but he has already filed as a candidate for the 2008 presidential election.</td></tr></table>

Llewthepoet · Postby **Llewthepoet** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 8:34 pm

I plan not to go to Minnesota any time soon! It's too cold! <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... tongue.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tongue.gif' /> Gotcha!

Gizensha · Postby **Gizensha** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 8:34 pm

...The thing is he has the sort of policies that the American people will just lap up. Well, apart from the not being a Christian thing.

DesertFoxCat · Postby **DesertFoxCat** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 8:49 pm

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Gizensha @ Jan 17 2006, 03:34 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> ...The thing is he has the sort of policies that the American people will just lap up.  </td></tr></table>  Good thing the only people who'll be voting are Minnesotans

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