Weird News

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 12:13 am

An eternal question, and a musical interlude <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... tongue.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tongue.gif' />  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Lonnie Donegan & his skiffle group - Does your chewing gum lose its flavor Oh me oh my oh you Whatever shall I do? Hallelujah, the question is peculiar I'd give a lot of dough If only I could know The answer to my question Is it yes or is it no? refrain: Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight? If your mother says don't chew it, do you swallow it in spite? Can you catch it on your tonsils, can you heave it left & right? Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight? Here comes a blushing bride The groom is by her side Up to the altar, just as steady as Gibraltar The groom has got the ring & it's such a pretty thing But as he slips it on her finger The choir begins to sing: refrain Now the nation rise as one To send their wanted son Up to the White House, yes, the nation's only White House To voice their discontent Unto the Pres-I-dent The bonny burning question, What has swept this continent? (Lonnie speaks: If tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make fog horns out of? Another man shouts: Boom boom!) refrain On the bedpost overnight (Man: Hello there, I love you & the one who holds you tight! Lonnie: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Sat'day night!) On the bedpost overnight (Man: A dollar is a dollar & a dime is a dime! Lonnie: He'd sing another chorus but he hasn't got the time!) On the bedpost overnight, yeah! </td></tr></table>

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 8:12 pm

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Nov 22, 2:46 PM EST Bush Spares Thanksgiving Turkeys By DEB RIECHMANN Associated Press Writer WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush spared two turkeys from becoming Thanksgiving dinner. Instead, the birds are going to Disneyland. Thousands of people voted on the White House Web site to name the national turkey "Marshmallow" and an alternate called "Yam." At a ceremony Tuesday, Bush peered into Marshmallow's eyes, stroked its white fluffy feathers and patted its red head. In years past, turkeys spared in presidential ceremonies were sent to live at a local farm. "Marshmallow and Yam were a little skeptical about going to a place called Frying Pan Park," Bush said to giggling students from Clarksville Elementary School in Clarksville, Md. This year, the turkeys, raised by James and Vicki Trites of Henning, Minn., will be honorary grand marshals at Disneyland's Thanksgiving Day Parade. "I know Marshmallow and Yam are going to feel pretty good strutting around sunny California, remembering the cold days of Minnesota," Bush said. The turkey ceremony, which usually is held in the Rose Garden, was moved inside to the Eisenhower Executive Office Building. Vice President Dick Cheney looked on as Bush talked of giving thanks for the generosity extended to the victims of the Gulf Coast hurricanes and for U.S. troops serving abroad. "We think of our military families who will have an empty seat at the table this Thanksgiving," he said. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, which in the past has been critical because presidential turkeys have been sent to a working farm rather than an animal sanctuary, praised the decision to send them to Disneyland. "I don't suppose we could have asked for better than Disneyland and southern California," said Bruce Friedrich of PETA. "They'll have mental and physical stimulation as well as proper care and a nice climate." Such turkeys require additional care if they're going to be kept alive long in captivity, Friedrich said.</td></tr></table>  Can you find the turkey in this picture?

Bocaj Claw · Postby **Bocaj Claw** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 8:19 pm

How many turkeys am I supposed to find?

Richard K Niner · Postby **Richard K Niner** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 9:13 pm

Silly Bocaj. Dubya's not a turkey; he's a <a href='http://www.airfarce.com/seasons/season13/051111j.wvx' target='_blank'>lame duck</a>.

Rooster · Postby **Rooster** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 11:14 pm

Probably already been seen by all, but this footage of Junior pissed as a fart at a wedding deserves a replay <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... ailwag.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tailwag.gif' /> <a href='http://www.ebaumsworld.com/gwbushdrunk.html' target='_blank'>Hey, he may be the President, we just resent the fact that he's an idiot.</a>

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Thu Nov 24, 2005 6:58 pm

Happy Thanksgiving! Gobble, Gobble! Turkey News from The Wall Street Journal  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> One for 'The Birds': Wild turkeys attack people By WILLIAM M. BULKELEY The Wall Street Journal November 23, 2005, 10:40 AM CST In April, Will Millington was riding his dirt bike down a narrow trail in Norman, Okla., when he stopped before a flock of wild turkeys. The hens scattered, but two toms flared their feathers and stalked toward him. Then they suddenly leapt in the air, beat Mr. Millington with their wings and tried to scratch him with the sharp spurs on the backs of their legs. Mr. Millington frantically revved his bike's motor. Thirty yards down the trail he looked back. "They were running after me," says the 46-year-old property manager. "That was kind of spooky." As Americans prepare to eat some 46 million domestic turkeys slaughtered for Thanksgiving, their wild cousins are fighting back. The explosion of the wild-turkey population to nearly seven million from just 30,000 in the 1930s has put a growing number of humans in the face of angry gobblers. Patricia Huckery, a Massachusetts Wildlife Department district manager in Acton, west of Boston, says she has gotten 25 calls this year for advice on coping with aggressive turkeys. Last year in Cranford, N.J., a letter carrier killed a turkey with a stick after complaining to police that a flock of turkeys wouldn't let him out of his delivery truck. In Pennsylvania's Montgomery County, wildlife conservation officer Chris Heil says he has had to kill 42 turkeys this year in response to complaints about behavior ranging from attacking a child on a tricycle to scratching cars. Many bird lovers pooh-pooh stories of threatening behavior. In an email exchange posted on the National Wildlife Federation's Web site, George Harrison, author of "The Backyard Bird Watcher," told a questioner that she was lucky to have turkeys in her backyard. He added: "They will not attack you. They will be afraid of you, and run, should you try to approach them." But naturalists who have studied the wild turkey say it can become aggressive toward humans as it adapts to suburban life. They worry it may become the next form of "nuisance" wildlife, following in the tracks of the whitetail deer and the Canada goose. Wild-turkey flocks have a pecking order. If they live around humans, some of the dominant toms may begin to include people in that order - at a level below themselves, says Jim Cardoza, a turkey expert at the Massachusetts wildlife agency. Wild turkeys "get used to people and incorporate them into their view of society," he says. Some behavior, such as putting out bird food and slinking quietly away, can encourage these lordly males to think that humans are a subservient life form, believes Mr. Cardoza. Biologist James Earl Kennamer, senior vice president of the National Wild Turkey Federation, an Edgefield, S.C., hunters' group, has studied wild turkeys for 40 years. "When they think you're one of them, they'll fight you to show who's dominant," he says. "If you turn your back, they'll take it to mean they're dominant." Tom turkeys in suburban woods can be 4 feet tall, weigh 25 pounds and run 20 miles per hour for short bursts. Mr. Cardoza advises people to show the birds who's boss. One tip is to carry an umbrella to poke at the turkey. Ms. Huckery tells people to "get your broom and swat the turkey away." Other tips for discouraging turkeys include spraying them with a garden hose, yelling and banging pots and pans, and having a dog in the backyard. Lovett Williams, a Florida biologist, recalls that when he raised wild turkeys, he sometimes had to establish dominance by grabbing an obnoxious bird around the neck and holding it on the ground so it couldn't scratch with its spurs. "I'd slap him like they do on the Three Stooges," he says. "Then they'd wobble around and run off." Peter Fagan, a charter boat fisherman from Montauk, N.Y., encountered a large tom near his home last spring. Mr. Fagan, who hunts turkeys in the Catskills, says he went out near his home, where turkey hunting is forbidden, to practice his turkey-calling technique. While he was setting up a video camera on a tripod, a tom walked by and buried a spur in his knee, penetrating his thick canvas hunting pants. Mr. Fagan says he didn't want to hurt the bird so he pushed him away and kept filming as the bird jumped at him again and again. Finally, Mr. Fagan made a cellphone call to a friend and the turkey, apparently alarmed at hearing the other voice, stalked away. Biologists believe the desire for dominance explains another irritating turkey behavior: pecking at car doors and windshields. Mr. Cardoza says turkeys "aren't self-aware" so they see their reflections in a car door as a rival, and may attack it and keep pecking and scratching until changing light conditions make the image disappear. The birds, which naturally perch high in trees at night to avoid predators, also irritate people by perching atop cars or house roofs. Mr. Heil, the Pennsylvania wildlife officer, says a big part of his job has become "verifying fowl damage" for insurance claims. Problems also occur when well-meaning wildlife lovers raise wild turkeys and then release them to populate woodlands on their property. Accustomed to getting feed from humans, they readily approach, sometimes pecking at shiny belt-buckles or buttons. Last month, jogging on a back road in Massachusetts' Berkshire hills, Betsy Kosheff passed a farmers' field where farm-raised wild turkeys were pecking for grain. Suddenly about 30 of them took off after Ms. Kosheff, who has a public-relations firm in West Stockbridge, Mass. "It was like that scene in 'The Birds' except there was no phone booth," says Ms. Kosheff, referring to the famous refuge in the Alfred Hitchcock movie. A passing friend stopped her pickup truck and Ms. Kosheff ran around it several times. The turkeys kept up the chase, although she says "they were too stupid to split up or change directions" to trap her. Finally, Ms. Kosheff got in the truck, where, she says, her friend "was laughing so hard she almost choked on her Dunkin' Donut." Copyright c 2005, Chicago Tribune</td></tr></table>

Richard K Niner · Postby **Richard K Niner** » Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:45 am

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Government sees silver lining in botnet cloud Graeme Wearden ZDNet UK November 21, 2005, 15:05 GMT Let's celebrate, says the DTI, as the UK holds on to the top spot for botnet infections The epidemic of hijacked PCs sweeping the UK underlines the sign of the success achieved in creating Broadband Britain, according to a senior official at the Department of Trade and Industry (DTI). Nigel Hickson, head of European e-commerce and telecoms regulation at the DTI, told a London conference on Monday "we should celebrate that we are number one for [botnet] infections. It says something about our importance and the value within UK Plc." Hickson, who was taking part in a panel at Broadband Britain Summit 2005, was responding to a question from Jeremy Ward, Symantec's director of service development. Ward asked what government and industry are doing to fight online threats, and build online trust. The suggestion that botnet infections have their positive side sparked some surprise within the audience. One attendee pointed out that he "wouldn't want the value of being number one in infections to be extended to bird flu". Hickson added that if regulation was brought in to force the communications industry to fight these threats, then Internet take-up could be restricted. Ward pointed to recent Symantec research that found that the UK contains more 'bots' -- PCs that have been taken over by a malicious hacker and used to relay spam and take parts in denial-of-service attacks -- than any other country. Speaking later to ZDNet UK, Hickson explained that he wasn't arguing that botnets should be encouraged, and insisted that the UK will always be an attractive target to cybercriminals. "I'm not saying bots are a good thing. The UK will always be a target, because of our productivity and our use of the English language," Hickson said. According to Ward, the rise in botnet infections in the UK can is directly linked to the boom in broadband use, with some users and ISPs failing to deploy appropriate security measures. Richard Allan, former Liberal Democrat MP and head of government affairs for Cisco, said he was confident that the problem of botnets would be addressed in the coming months, as network operators wake up to the need to tighten security. "It's like antivirus. Two years ago, virtually nobody had it. Now, ISPs offer antivirus protection as standard," said Allan.</td></tr></table>  EDIT: Em dashes fixed

Rooster · Postby **Rooster** » Sat Nov 26, 2005 1:19 am

Not really a news item, but funny. We have a program called Top Gear, where, among other car-related parts like reveiws and the like, they have a thing called "Star In A Reasonably Priced Car". They had the Minister of Transport on...and he crashed the car. Ironic, no?

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Sat Nov 26, 2005 1:21 am

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Rooster @ Nov 25 2005, 08:19 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> They had the Minister of Transport on...and he crashed the car. Ironic, no?  </td></tr></table>  Just goes to show it's a bad idea to be a distracted driver.

Richard K Niner · Postby **Richard K Niner** » Sat Nov 26, 2005 2:11 am

<a href='http://news.yahoo.com/s/prweb/20051124/ ... eb314382_1' target='_blank'>I don't know how it's going; I'll check on Monday <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... s/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif' /></a>  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Former Canadian Minister Of Defence Asks Canadian Parliament Asked To Hold Hearings On Relations With Alien "Et" Civilizations Thu Nov 24, 7:00 AM ET (PRWEB) - OTTAWA, CANADA (PRWEB) November 24, 2005 -- A former Canadian Minister of Defence and Deputy Prime Minister under Pierre Trudeau has joined forces with three Non-governmental organizations to ask the Parliament of Canada to hold public hearings on Exopolitics -- relations with "ETs." By "ETs," Mr. Hellyer and these organizations mean ethical, advanced extraterrestrial civilizations that may now be visiting Earth. On September 25, 2005, in a startling speech at the University of Toronto that caught the attention of mainstream newspapers and magazines, Paul Hellyer, Canada's Defence Minister from 1963-67 under Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Prime Minister Lester Pearson, publicly stated: "UFOs, are as real as the airplanes that fly over your head." Mr. Hellyer went on to say, "I'm so concerned about what the consequences might be of starting an intergalactic war, that I just think I had to say something." Hellyer revealed, "The secrecy involved in all matters pertaining to the Roswell incident was unparalled. The classification was, from the outset, above top secret, so the vast majority of U.S. officials and politicians, let alone a mere allied minister of defence, were never in-the-loop." Hellyer warned, "The United States military are preparing weapons which could be used against the aliens, and they could get us into an intergalactic war without us ever having any warning." He stated, "The Bush administration has finally agreed to let the military build a forward base on the moon, which will put them in a better position to keep track of the goings and comings of the visitors from space, and to shoot at them, if they so decide." Hellyer's speech ended with a standing ovation. He said, "The time has come to lift the veil of secrecy, and let the truth emerge, so there can be a real and informed debate, about one of the most important problems facing our planet today." Three Non-governmental organizations took Hellyer's words to heart, and approached Canada's Parliament in Ottawa, Canada's capital, to hold public hearings on a possible ET presence, and what Canada should do. The Canadian Senate, which is an appointed body, has held objective, well-regarded hearings and issued reports on controversial issues such as same-sex marriage and medical marijuana, On October 20, 2005, the Institute for Cooperation in Space requested Canadian Senator Colin Kenny, Senator, Chair of The Senate Standing Senate Committee on National Security and Defence, "schedule public hearings on the Canadian Exopolitics Initiative, so that witnesses such as the Hon. Paul Hellyer, and Canadian-connected high level military-intelligence, NORAD-connected, scientific, and governmental witnesses facilitated by the Disclosure Project and by the Toronto Exopolitics Symposium can present compelling evidence, testimony, and Public Policy recommendations." The Non-governmental organizations seeking Parliament hearings include Canada-based Toronto Exopolitics Symposium, which organized the University of Toronto Symposium at which Mr. Hellyer spoke. The Disclosure Project, a U.S.-based organization that has assembled high level military-intelligence witnesses of a possible ET presence, is also one of the organizations seeking Canadian Parliament hearings. Vancouver-based Institute for Cooperation in Space (ICIS), whose International Director headed a proposed 1977 Extraterrestrial Communication Study for the White House of former U.S. President Jimmy Carter, who himself has publicly reported a 1969 Close Encounter of the First Kind with a UFO, filed the original request for Canadian Parliament hearings. The Canadian Exopolitics Initiative, presented by the organizations to a Senate Committee panel hearing in Winnipeg, Canada, on March 10, 2005, proposes that the Government of Canada undertake a Decade of Contact. The proposed Decade of Contact is "a 10-year process of formal, funded public education, scientific research, educational curricula development and implementation, strategic planning, community activity, and public outreach concerning our terrestrial society's full cultural, political, social, legal, and governmental communication and public interest diplomacy with advanced, ethical Off-Planet cultures now visiting Earth." Canada has a long history of opposing the basing of weapons in Outer Space. On September 22, 2004 Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin declared to the U.N. General Assembly, "Space is our final frontier. It has always captured our imagination. What a tragedy it would be if space became one big weapons arsenal and the scene of a new arms race. Martin stated, "In 1967, the United Nations agreed that weapons of mass destruction must not be based in space. The time has come to extend this ban to all weapons..." In May, 2003, speaking before the Canadian House of Commons Standing Committee on National Defence and Veterans Affairs, former Minister of Foreign Affairs of Canada Lloyd Axworthy, stated "Washington's offer to Canada is not an invitation to join America under a protective shield, but it presents a global security doctrine that violates Canadian values on many levels." Axworthy concluded, "There should be an uncompromising commitment to preventing the placement of weapons in space." On February 24, 2005, Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin made official Canada's decision not to take part in the U.S government's Ballistic Missile Defence program. Paul Hellyer, who now seeks Canadian Parliament hearings on relations with ETs, on May 15, 2003, stated in Toronto's Globe & Mail newspaper, "Canada should accept the long-standing invitation of U.S. Congressman Dennis Kucinich of Ohio to launch a conference to seek approval of an international treaty to ban weapons in space. That would be a positive Canadian contribution toward a more peaceful world." In early November 2005, the Canadian Senate wrote ICIS, indicating the Senate Committee could not hold hearings on ETs in 2005, because of their already crowded schedule. "That does not deter us," one spokesperson for the Non-governmental organizations said, "We are going ahead with our request to Prime Minister Paul Martin and the official opposition leaders in the House of Commons now, and we will re-apply with the Senate of Canada in early 2006. "Time is on the side of open disclosure that there are ethical Extraterrestrial civilizations visiting Earth," The spokesperson stated. "Our Canadian government needs to openly address these important issues of the possible deployment of weapons in outer war plans against ethical ET societies." </td></tr></table>  EDIT: Whew! Fixed.

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 3:19 pm

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Haunting experience at Lenin Museum The director of Russia's Lenin Museum says the ghost of the former soviet dictator is haunting the building. Maja Obraszowa, head of the museum located in Vladimir Ilyich Lenin's former house in Samara, says staff often hear footsteps and see furniture moving, as well as other inexplicable phenomena. Obraszowa said: "We walked into the master bedroom one morning and saw the bed had been slept in, even though the door was locked all night. "And we can often smell apple cake, which was his favourite food, even though there is no bakery near here." The ghost story emerged after a group of school children visiting the museum swore to have smelt fresh coffee while looking at the former revolutionary's ancient coffee machine. Lenin studied law in Samara from 1887 to 1891. His body is on display in the red square though many Russians feel it should be removed and given a Christian burial.</td></tr></table>

Ankaris · Postby **Ankaris** » Mon Nov 28, 2005 8:27 pm

"RAWR! MUST... CRUSH... CAPITALISM!" >.> <.< Lenin freaks me out. That guy's got more chemicals in him than your average chicken nugget, heck, some people have described his skin as wax o_0 I wonder how much longer they can keep him where he is. There'll certainly be more call for a proper burial if that stuff continues.

Northern_l33tness · Postby **Northern_l33tness** » Wed Nov 30, 2005 2:52 am

You know, one "This Hour has 22 Minutes" episode a couple years (I think) back after the American Thanksgiving started off with text that read something like: "Message to Americans: We hope you enjoyed your turkey. After all, you elected him." And I so want to post an article about a recently released fan made DALEK PORN DVD, but the content of the link wouldn't be appropriate, so...

Gizensha · Postby **Gizensha** » Wed Nov 30, 2005 8:46 am

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Northern_l33tness @ Nov 30 2005, 02:52 AM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> You know, one "This Hour has 22 Minutes" episode a couple years (I think) back after the American Thanksgiving started off with text that read something like: "Message to Americans: We hope you enjoyed your turkey. After all, you elected him." And I so want to post an article about a recently released fan made DALEK PORN DVD, but the content of the link wouldn't be appropriate, so...  </td></tr></table>  ...Mmm... I believe one of the former companions once did a softcore photo shoot with a Dalek. Think 'page 3' style for what I mean by 'soft core' there. More tease than porn, but sexual based partial nudity was there. (and I don't see how the text of the article would be inappropriate, even if the actual link was, but you would be better checking with a mod on that with the specific article)

Richard K Niner · Postby **Richard K Niner** » Wed Nov 30, 2005 9:35 am

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Northern_l33tness @ Nov 29 2005, 09:52 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> You know, one "This Hour has 22 Minutes" episode a couple years (I think) back after the American Thanksgiving started off with text that read something like: "Message to Americans: We hope you enjoyed your turkey. After all, you elected him." And I so want to post an article about a recently released fan made DALEK PORN DVD, but the content of the link wouldn't be appropriate, so...  </td></tr></table>  Was that the one noted by El Reg? (Which did tag the article as NSFW)

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