Define Cynical Fan Forums

Arloest · Postby **Arloest** » Sun Nov 21, 2004 5:44 am

<img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /> <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /> <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /> Let chaos entwine on defenseless soil. <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /> <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /> <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /> <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /> <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /> <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... ns/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' /> <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /> <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /> <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /> <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' />

Burning Sheep Productions · Postby **Burning Sheep Productions** » Sun Nov 21, 2004 8:50 am

Hmm? I once had a pet dinosaur, he got hit by a tractor the day before my fifth birthday. <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... ns/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' />

Ozymandias · Postby **Ozymandias** » Sun Nov 21, 2004 1:58 pm

I used to really like tractors, then one day my little puppy got run over by one coming out of a field. Since that day I have never liked tractors at all. But more recently, when I was in a smoky bar with my GF, she was complaining about the choking atmosphere. So I just stood up, sucked in all the smoke, went outside and exhaled. Needless to say, she was somewhat bewildered, and after asking me how I did it, I said: (OK and this is really bad) I'm an ex-tractor fan

Miles E Traysandor · Postby **Miles E Traysandor** » Sun Nov 21, 2004 5:17 pm

rutabegas are cool.

Ozymandias · Postby **Ozymandias** » Sun Nov 21, 2004 5:29 pm

Avery is therefore aspiring to a rutabega?

Arloest · Postby **Arloest** » Sun Nov 21, 2004 11:18 pm

5hfifty was taking a shower when he remembered the doorbell might be ringing and he couldn't hear it. He hopped out of the shower stall and checked. There was nobody there, like the last twenty times he'd looked. He took another thirty seconds of his shower and checked again. This time friendly Mr. Mailman was there! In his sparkling blue United States Postal Service uniform, Mr. Mailman smiled warmly as he held out 5h's very own Free Sample of BLAST-FROSTED YUMMY WONDER-O'S! "Gosh, thanks!" yapped 5hfifty, taking the tiny box and slamming the door in Mr. Mailman's face. 5h examined the package. FUN SIZE, it said. This meant that the cereal would taste extra-special, even better than the big size! It was made of little ring-shaped clusters of genuine Swiss milk chocolate and real ripe raspberries, embedded in giant sugar crystals. M-m-m! Each one of the little rings contained a tasty edible microprocessor which would warn you the moment the cereal went stale, to ensure that you were eating it at the peak of freshness! He ripped the box open and was about to dump the contents into his big mouth when he noticed: BLAST-FROSTED YUMMY WONDER-O'S ARE A PART OF A COMPLETE BREAKFAST. Oh no! This meant that 5h couldn't eat them until he completed the breakfast! He added a glass of orange juice, and some buttered toast with grape jelly, and a pitcher of milk, and half a grapefruit, and tomato juice, and a bowl of Cheerios, and some Wheat Chex, and a Pop-Tart, and a steak, and some grated Parmesan... He looked at the box again to see what else he was missing. Perhaps the nutritional information (required by law) would give him a clue. They said that the Blast-Frosted Yummy Wonder-O's contained at least two percent of his daily requirement of twenty essential vitamins and minerals! The box only listed essential vitamins and minerals, not essential oils, so 5h poured a gallon of Mazola over his Wonder-O's. (He always liked to drink some essential oil every day, because his doctor said he'd die otherwise. He considered essential oil to be rather important.) Just then, Tavis strolled past the window, and 5hfifty ducked behind the sofa where he wouldn't see him. This reminded him that the complete breakfast didn't yet have--yuk--cat food. He called his neighbor and borrowed a can of Science Diet Feline Maintenance, dumping the glop into the bowl of oil which held the Wonder-O's and the grated parmesan.5h hated the idea of eating cat food, but it was worth it to get to eat the Blast-Frosted Yummy Wonder-O's! After adding rutabegas, and garlic, and beef tongue, and kiwi gelato, and sushi, and a very rancid Necco SkyBar, and a rock, 5h was about to take his first bite of the complete breakfast when his eye fell on the morning paper. (He pushed it back into its socket before reading the headline.) CITY IMPROVEMENT PLAN DEFEATED MAYOR EATS PROPOSED NEW CLOVERLEAF INTERCHANGE FOR BREAKFAST 5hfifty yelped in surprise! He hadn't realized that a cloverleaf interchange was required for every complete breakfast, but he put one in anyway. And a player piano, and some Zima, and a mousetrap, and a hovercraft full of eels, and a dance belt. After scouring the Isaac Walpole's "The Compleat Breakfast" and the Oxford English Dictionary for ideas, he threw them on the huge pile as well, and at long last 5hfifty's breakfast was complete! He stirred it all together with his spoon and took a biiiiig biiiiite. It was the rock. 5h broke most of his teeth as he chewed it up and swallowed it. "Warning!" shouted all the microchips in the Wonder-O's, "Your breakfast is no longer complete! The Blast-Frosted Yummy Wonder-O's (a registered trademark of Advanced Synthetics Inc., supermarket to the Universe) will now self-destruct! STAND CLEAR!" 5hfifty cried as his breakfast exploded. Then Tavis came in and ate it.

simon · Postby **simon** » Sun Nov 21, 2004 11:27 pm

True story. I was touched that a US postman and Tavis would come all the way to Australia just for my breakfast.

Miles E Traysandor · Postby **Miles E Traysandor** » Mon Nov 22, 2004 12:04 am

That was Oddish, but good nonetheless.

Joe3210 · Postby **Joe3210** » Mon Nov 22, 2004 1:24 am

This is oddish And too small to read.

Zaaphod · Postby **Zaaphod** » Mon Nov 22, 2004 5:29 am

*snrrk* That was very strange. I liked it! <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... iggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' />

Supersmoke · Postby **Supersmoke** » Mon Nov 22, 2004 2:29 pm

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> BLAST-FROSTED YUMMY WONDER-O'S!</td></tr></table>  That reminds me of the time I played "Captain Amazing Blast-O-Man" in a class movie project two years ago. I got to wear my underwear on the outside of my pants. <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... s/ohmy.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='ohmy.gif' /> Maybe I'll see if I can put it on my computer and send it to some of you to see my terrible acting. (although my short part was like 90% of the comedy in the movie.)

Holyman83 · Postby **Holyman83** » Mon Nov 22, 2004 2:57 pm

hmmm....I have not posted here in a day or two *POSTS* ok that better! Edit: by the way I mean on this thread

Miles E Traysandor · Postby **Miles E Traysandor** » Mon Nov 22, 2004 3:33 pm

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Holyman83 @ Nov 22 2004, 09:57 AM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> hmmm....I have not posted here in a day or two *POSTS* ok that better!  </td></tr></table>  And there was much rejoicing! *Randomly glomps Holyman*

Zaaphod · Postby **Zaaphod** » Tue Nov 23, 2004 3:58 am

And there was even MORE rejoicing! *randomly glomps EVERYONE*

GhostWay · Postby **GhostWay** » Tue Nov 23, 2004 4:03 am

What is this, Monty Python?

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