Jokes, Jokes, tell me Jokes.

[Doc Sigma]

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh

[Ozymandias]

Two goldfish swimming round in a tank





One turns to the other and says:
"Do you know how to drive this thing?"

[Doc Sigma]

Two goldfish swimming round in a tank





One turns to the other and says:
"Do you know how to drive this thing?"

Whoa, a coworker/friend of mine told me ALMOST THE EXACT SAME JOKE yesterday. The difference was, the fish said "You drive, I'll man the guns!"

[teozo]

There is a book called DrinaChupria, Drina is a river and chupria is a turkish word for bridge. why am I saying this just read below.

Mujo asks Haso - did you read DrinaChupria
Haso answers Mujo - what read it, stood on it pissed in it.

[Segovia]

An alien comes to Earth to learn English and settles in a nice neiborhood. He decides that the best way to start learning is to start watching T.V.

When he turns on the T.V. Cold Case Files is on and there was this guy saying. " I did it, I did it! Knife! Knife! Knife!

He changes the channel and Wrestling is on and there was this wrestler saying " Bring it on Fat Boy!"

He chages the channel and there was a commercial saying "Plug it in, Plug it in."

He turns off the T.V. and goes to sleep.

On the next day his neibor was murdered and the Police started asking him questions.

The police officer asked do you know who did it?

He said I did it, I did it!

"How?"

"Knife, Knife, Knife!"

The police officer said I'm afraid I have to take you down to the Station.

The alien said "Bring it on Fat Boy"

He was sentenced to the chair and on the day of the execution the executioner said "Boy I can't wait to plug in this chair and zap you a**.

The alien said "Plug it in, plug it in!"

[MuffinSticks]

An old woman comes home to find her husband smoking a cigarette with a condom over it. She asks, "What's that on your cigarette?" Her husband replies, "Oh, I found this on the ground on the way home. I don't know what it is, but it's a useful carrying case for my smokes." The old woman says, "Oh, that's a good idea!" So she goes to the store and asks the clerk for the condoms behind the counter. The clerk asks her, "What size do you need?" The old woman replies, "I don't know, whatever fits a camel."

[osprey]

What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?



How do you expect me to get hard in 5 minutes? I just got laid this morning!

[Tom Flapwell]

Bravo, Muffin and Osprey.

[MuffinSticks]

Bravo, Muffin and Osprey.

Seconded. Osprey's joke was the only one I laughed at.

[MuffinSticks]

What's the difference between cookies and Jews?
Cookies don't scream when you put them in the oven.

What's the worst part about being a black Jew?
You have to sit at the back of the oven.

Tasteful joke extraordinaire.

[lastwyvern]

((not sure if someone's said it already please rant if someone did, it turns me on))

what's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?

The truck full of bowling balls you can't empty with a pitchfork♫

[Doc Sigma]

Tasteful joke extraordinaire.

What's harder than nailing a babby to a tree?
My cock while I'm doing it.

[MuffinSticks]

Tasteful joke extraordinaire.

What's harder than nailing a babby to a tree?
My cock while I'm doing it.

Nice one! I rarely ACTUALLY lol at jokes, but that's a good one.

[Segovia]

Here's a riddle:

Arnold Schwarznegger has a big one.

Michael J. Fox has a small one.

Modanna doesn't have one.

The pope has one but doesn't use his.

Bill Clinton uses his all the time.

What is it?
?
?
?

A last name! Were you thinking something else?

[lastwyvern]

Here's a riddle:

Arnold Schwarznegger has a big one.

Michael J. Fox has a small one.

Modanna doesn't have one.

The pope has one but doesn't use his.

Bill Clinton uses his all the time.

What is it?
?
?
?

A last name! Were you thinking something else?

wow that's really good. i was thinking of something long, hard and straight with white stuff coming out of it. too much detail?