Weird News

[Zaaphod]

Good thing it's in June, so Hell won't freeze over.

[Niko123000]

Good thing it's in June, so Hell won't freeze over.

Can't... sotp... laughiing....

[Foxhound]

Snakes on a plane- literally!

Pilot Finds Snake Stowaway Inside Cockpit
By Associated Press

CHARLESTON, W.Va. - Monty Coles was 3,000 feet in the air when he discovered a stowaway peeking out at him from the plane's instrument panel: a 4 1/2-foot snake.

Coles was taking a leisurely flight over the West Virginia countryside in his Piper Cherokee last weekend and was preparing to land in Ohio when the snake revealed itself.

"Nothing in any of the manuals ever described anything like this," said the 62-year-old Cross Lanes resident.

But advice given 25 years earlier from his flight instructor sprung to mind: "No matter what happens, fly the plane."

Coles attempted to swat the snake but it fell to the pilot's feet, then darted to the other side of the cockpit.

While maintaining control of the single-engine plane with one hand, Coles grabbed the reptile behind its head with his other.

"There was no way I was letting that thing go," he said. "It coiled all around my arm, and its tail grabbed hold of a lever on the floor and started pulling."

The next step was to radio for emergency landing clearance.

"They came back and asked what my problem was," he said. "I told them I had one hand full of snake and the other hand full of plane. They cleared me in."

After a smooth landing, Coles posed for pictures with the snake, then let it loose.

"That snake resides in Ohio now," he said.

[VisibilityMissing]

The cow . . . such a wiley and crafty creature!

Jun 4, 3:42 AM EDT

Japanese Cow Leads Police on Wild Chase

TOKYO (AP) -- A cow being delivered to a Japanese slaughterhouse tried to bolt to freedom Sunday, leading nearly two dozen police on a 3.7-mile car chase through town and sending one man to the hospital unconscious.

Security camera footage of the wild escape, aired by public broadcaster NHK, showed the frenzied 1,606-pound animal zigzagging across a parking lot and then darting down a street, hotly pursued by a stream of patrol cars.

"The cow was being delivered to the slaughterhouse, and it was startled by a loud sound and just ran off," said Masashi Kitabayashi, a police official in the central town of Yakkaichi, where the incident took place.

The 3-year-old cow eventually crashed headfirst into a MEHTUL fence, fell down and died, but not before attacking a rendering plant worker who was trying to recapture the animal, Kitabayashi said.

The chase occurred at 6:50 a.m., and the 56-year-old worker was still unconscious in the hospital by late afternoon.

Slaughterhouse workers took the cow's body away.

"I don't know whether it will be processed into meat or not," Kitabayashi said.

[VisibilityMissing]

Newly minted Darwin Award Nominees in "Death By Helium"

Jun 4, 1:10 PM EDT

College Students Found Dead Inside Balloon

LUTZ, Fla. (AP) -- Two college students were found dead inside a large, deflated helium balloon after apparently pulling it down and crawling inside it, officials said.

The deaths of Jason Ackerman and Sara Rydman, both 21, appear to be accidental, Hillsborough County Sheriff's Maj. Bob Schrader said.

Their bodies were found Saturday partially inside a deflated helium balloon at the entrance of a condominium complex a few miles north of Tampa. The 8-foot-diameter balloon was used to advertise the complex.

"It was more a fun thing they thought they were doing," said Linda Rydman, whose daughter was found dead. "You know how you blow up the balloon and suck the helium."

The county medical examiner said Sunday that the cause of death won't be released for six weeks, until toxicology results come back.

Inhaling helium can quickly lead to brain damage and death from lack of oxygen, according to the Compressed Gas Association, which develops safety standards in the gas industry.

[Niko123000]

*High squeaky helium Voice*

Heliium is fun to talk through if you do it in moderation

[Foxhound]

Urinals With a View at Stockholm Airport
By Associated Press

STOCKHOLM, Sweden - Travelers hearing nature's call at Stockholm's Arlanda airport may think they have ended up in a summer meadow--figuratively speaking.

The airport's newly designed lavatories, which are to open mid-June in Terminal 5, combine pleasant flowery glass art with an improved solution for getting rid of foul odors, Arlanda's designer manager Karin Elfver Renstrom said Wednesday

The men's lavatories will have glass artwork portraying a flower-filled Swedish meadow around and above the men's urinals, with a view through a glass facade onto the tarmac below.

A practical problem led to this unconventional solution that blends art, design and functionality, Elfver Renstrom said.

"It is important that a lavatory should smell good. Urinals often have problems, because odors emanate from the gaps between tiles. By using glass sheets instead of tiles, however, we avoid gaps," she said. "And it is not more expensive than tiles."

The ladies' room also comes with glass artworks, in the shape of giant red buttercups.

The new lavatories are part of an 8,600-square-foot extension of international Terminal 5, which also includes new shops.

The airport last year completed an expansion program to be able to handle 25 million passengers a year and is now concentrating on improving passenger amenities and comforts, Elfver Renstrom said.

[Spray]

What's next? "Instant Water: Just Add Water!"?
I know the guy means well, but this is one of the most pointless things ever, and this is coming from a guy who watched a half-hour video of someone playing Tetris.

Cordless Jump-Rope Can Help the Clumsy

May 30, 7:50 AM (ET)

By SETH BORENSTEIN

WASHINGTON (AP) - If you think keeping fit is merely mind over matter, Lester Clancy has an invention for you - a cordless jump-rope. That's right, a jump-rope minus the rope. All that's left is two handles, so you jump over the pretend rope. Or if you are truly lazy, you can pretend to jump over the pretend rope.

And for that idea kicking around Clancy's head since 1988, the U.S. Patent Office this month awarded the 52-year-old Mansfield, Ohio, man a patent. Its number: 7037243.

What makes this invention work is the moving weights inside the handles. They simulate the feel of a rope moving, Clancy said. Well, it's only one handle so far because Clancy is waiting for financial backers before building its partner.

But why jump rope without a rope?

It's perfect for the clumsy, Clancy said. "If you are still jumping, you're still using your legs as well as your arms, and getting the cardiovascular workout. You just don't have to worry about tripping on the rope."

It is also good for mental institutions and prisons where rope is a suicide risk, said Clancy, who works as a laundry coordinator in a state prison. And low ceiling fans aren't a hazard any more, he said.

Daniel Wright, who features the cordless jump-rope on his Web site , can barely talk about Clancy's invention without laughing.http://www.patentlysilly.com

"What really grabbed me," Wright said, was the name the item has in its patent, Wright said.

The idea isn't all that crazy, said Mike Ernst, a professor of kinesiology at California State University in Dominguez Hills.

"I think it's silly but at the same time if somehow, some way it promotes physical activity, gets kids active, then I'm all for it," Ernst said.

The more he thought about it, the more Ernst said he could see the benefit, adding that the act of jumping, not the rope itself, is what provides exercise.

"Do you need to jump with a rope? You don't," Ernst said. "But I wouldn't buy the product, I can tell you that. I'm not an idiot."

High-tech handles aren't needed. You could even use toilet paper holders, Ernst said. On second thought, he wondered if he could patent that idea.

[Foxhound]

Paper Clip Causes Traffic Signals GlitchBy Associated Press

ASHLAND, Wis. - Traffic signals that went haywire at the city's busiest intersection over Memorial Day weekend left technicians stymied as they hunted for the cause.

The malfunction reverted the signals at Ellis Avenue and Lakeshore Drive to a default mode, flashing yellow and red, and they stayed that way for five days as the problem went unsolved.

The signals have gone out the same way in the past, but only after accidents when vehicles hit one of the poles. There was no accident involved this time.

When city crews finally called in the state Department of Transportation for help, a DOT official spotted a paper clip that had fallen behind the control panel for the signals.

Pat Colgrove, city operation manager, said the wayward clip had simply shorted out the system.

"I was shocked," he said. "I said, 'You got to be kidding me.'"

When the clip was removed and the system was reset, the signals resumed normal operations, Colgrove said.

In a bit of irony, the paper clip that fell had been used to hold a card with names and phone numbers of technicians who maintain the signals, he said.

[VisibilityMissing]

Life meets Monty Python in "The Strange Case of the Chihuahua Beating"

Jun 8, 11:01 PM EDT

Police: Woman Hits Breeder With Chihuahua

ST. PETERS, Mo. (AP) -- A woman angry that her new puppy had died pushed her way into a dog breeder's home and repeatedly hit her on the head with the dead Chihuahua, authorities said.

The 33-year-old woman told police she had taken the puppy to a veterinarian, who said it was only 4 weeks old and needed to be returned to its mother. But before she could return the puppy, it died.

Early Wednesday, the woman went to the breeder's home, pushed her way inside and began fighting with the breeder as she tried to make her way to the basement to get another puppy, police said.

The breeder wrestled the woman out of her house to the front porch, where the woman then hit the breeder over the head numerous times with the dead puppy, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported, citing police.

As the woman drove away, she waved the dead puppy out of the car's sunroof and yelled threats at the breeder, police said. She later called the breeder and threatened her and her family, according to court records.

Police said they are considering felony burglary charges and misdemeanor assault charges.

[Foxhound]

Jack the Cat Chases Black Bear Up Tree
By Associated Press


WEST MILFORD, N.J. - A black bear picked the wrong New Jersey yard for a jaunt earlier this week, running into a territorial tabby who ran the furry beast up a tree _ twice.

Jack, a 15-pound orange-and-white cat, keeps a close vigil on his property, chasing small animals when he can, but his owners and neighbors say his latest escapade was surprising.

"We used to joke, 'Jack's on duty,' never knowing he'd go after a bear," cat owner Donna Dickey told The Star-Ledger of Newark for Friday's newspapers.

Neighbor Suzanne Giovanetti first spotted Jack's accomplishment after her husband saw a bear climb a tree on the edge of their northern New Jersey home's back yard on Sunday. Giovanetti thought Jack was simply looking up at the bear, but soon realized the much larger animal was afraid of the hissing cat.

After about 15 minutes peering down at the cat from the tree, the bear descended and tried to run away, only to have Jack chase it up another tree.

At this point Dickey, who feared for her cat, called Jack back home and the bear scurried back to the woods.

"He doesn't want anybody in his yard," Dickey said.

Bear sightings are not unusual in West Milford, which experts consider one of the state's most bear-populated areas.

[CodeCat]

That's one brave cat!

[VisibilityMissing]

Novel ways to decide legal matters.

Judge orders `rock, paper, scissors' game

Items compiled from Tribune news services
Published June 10, 2006

TAMPA, FLORIDA -- A federal judge miffed at the inability of opposing attorneys to agree on even the slightest details of a lawsuit ordered them to settle their latest dispute with a game of "rock, paper, scissors."

The argument was over a location to take the sworn statement of a witness in an insurance lawsuit.

In an order signed Tuesday, U.S. District Judge Gregory Presnell scolded both sides and ordered them to meet at a neutral location at 4 p.m. June 30 to play a round of the hand-gesture game. If they can't agree on the neutral location, he said, they'll play on the steps of the federal courthouse.

The winner gets to choose the location for the witness statement.

"We're going to have to do it," said David Pettinato, lead attorney for the plaintiff, Avista Management. "I guess I'd better bone up on `rock, paper, scissors' rules."

[Foxhound]

Superhero Chases Down Minn. Purse Snatcher

By Associated Press

MINNEAPOLIS - Cameron Evans suits up in superhero garb as part of his job, but he may never have guessed that his alter ego, "Luke Pie-Rocker," would save someone's day.

Teresa Skarman was walking home Tuesday night when a purse snatcher grabbed her red leather bag.

The 55-year-old grocery store bagger screamed for help and Evans _ sporting orange tights, black boots and cape _ chased the mugger.

A delivery man for Galactic Pizza, Evans tailed the robber for blocks, until two bystanders helped corner the crook in an alley. They ended up letting him go in exchange for the purse.

Evans, 26, a student at Minneapolis Community and Technical College, said he wasn't worried about his safety, hoping others would help.

Skarman said she admires Evans' bravery.

"I'm so thankful," she said, clutching her red purse. "He's my hero."

[Loeln]

Jack the Cat Chases Black Bear Up Tree
By Associated Press


WEST MILFORD, N.J. - A black bear picked the wrong New Jersey yard for a jaunt earlier this week, running into a territorial tabby who ran the furry beast up a tree _ twice.

Jack, a 15-pound orange-and-white cat, keeps a close vigil on his property, chasing small animals when he can, but his owners and neighbors say his latest escapade was surprising.

"We used to joke, 'Jack's on duty,' never knowing he'd go after a bear," cat owner Donna Dickey told The Star-Ledger of Newark for Friday's newspapers.

Neighbor Suzanne Giovanetti first spotted Jack's accomplishment after her husband saw a bear climb a tree on the edge of their northern New Jersey home's back yard on Sunday. Giovanetti thought Jack was simply looking up at the bear, but soon realized the much larger animal was afraid of the hissing cat.

After about 15 minutes peering down at the cat from the tree, the bear descended and tried to run away, only to have Jack chase it up another tree.

At this point Dickey, who feared for her cat, called Jack back home and the bear scurried back to the woods.

"He doesn't want anybody in his yard," Dickey said.

Bear sightings are not unusual in West Milford, which experts consider one of the state's most bear-populated areas.