Weird News

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Thu Apr 07, 2005 11:58 pm

If you thought your manure was safe, you've got another thing coming! Problems with standard market practice?  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Apr 6, 10:59 PM EDT Professor Accused of Stealing Manure ROCKPORT, Mass. (AP) -- A Harvard economics professor has been accused of neglecting the standard market practice of paying for goods and services by trying to steal a truckload of manure from a horse farmer. Stable manager Phillip Casey says Martin Weitzman, Harvard University's Ernest E. Monrad Professor of Economics, has been stealing manure from Charlie Lane's Rockport farm for years. Police said said Casey found Weitzman on the property last Friday, so he blocked in Weitzman's pickup truck and called police. Weitzman got angry, Casey said, then offered to pay for the manure he'd already taken. But Casey said he wouldn't budge because he wanted the thefts to stop. "He offered me $20 for it and then $40 for it," Casey said. Casey said the land was marked private property and Weitzman, 63, had been warned before. "He's been doing it for years," Casey told the Gloucester Daily Times. The farm sells the manure for $35 a truckload and also uses it to fertilize a pasture. Rockport police officer Michael Marino said Weitzman, who lives in neighboring Gloucester, is charged with larceny under $250, trespassing, and malicious destruction of property for tearing up some land with his tires. Weitzman did not immediately return calls to his home or office on Wednesday morning. His attorney also did immediately return a call on Wednesday. 2005 The Associated Press</td></tr></table>

Richard K Niner · Postby **Richard K Niner** » Fri Apr 08, 2005 12:45 am

Looks like he's in deep sh*t now! <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /laugh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='laugh.gif' />

Henohenomoheji · Postby **Henohenomoheji** » Fri Apr 08, 2005 1:47 am

he offered him $5 more than he could buy it for and the other guy rejected it?

Zaaphod · Postby **Zaaphod** » Fri Apr 08, 2005 4:27 am

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Henohenomoheji @ Apr 7 2005, 05:47 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> he offered him $5 more than he could buy it for and the other guy rejected it?  </td></tr></table>  Only because he wanted the thefts to stop. Otherwise, I'm sure he'd have taken 40 dollars for the load.

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Fri Apr 08, 2005 11:37 pm

Hey, I've renewed a license there, too! Running into the wall is no reason to revoke someone's license . . .  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Apr 8, 1:04 PM EDT Man Drives Into DMV's Wall, Renews License ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) -- A man drove his car into a wall at the Division of Motor Vehicles building, then walked in and renewed his driver's license, police say. Police believe the man was driving while impaired on medication and charged him with driving under the influence. No one was injured. The man's car went up over a sidewalk Thursday, denting the building's MEHTUL siding, cracking the inside of the wall and startling workers sitting nearby in the DMV's accounting department. "I saw the guy back up, get out of his car and walk into the DMV like nothing happened," said DMV employee Michelle Steinman. No one in the public area of the DMV noticed the accident. Workers in accounting notified higher-ups and pointed out the driver, who had taken a number, apologizing to a clerk that he had "tapped" the building. By the time police arrived, the man had paid $20 and renewed his license. 2005 The Associated Press</td></tr></table>

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Sun Apr 10, 2005 1:57 am

News from the high stakes premade Peanut butter and Jelly sandwich business. or Feed your kids chemicals and additives!  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Court Denies Smucker's PB&J Pastry Patent Friday April 8, 5:33 pm ET By Malia Rulon, Associated Press Writer Patent Denied to Smucker's on Process for Making Peanut Butter and Jelly 'Uncrustables' WASHINGTON (AP) -- There's only so far you can go in trying to patent the ever-popular peanut butter and jelly sandwich. On Friday, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit rejected an effort by J.M. Smucker Co. to patent its process for making pocket-size peanut butter and jelly pastries called "Uncrustables." Smucker's 2-ounce peanut butter and jelly pockets come in two flavors -- strawberry and grape -- and are enclosed without a crust using a crimping method that the Orrville, Ohio, company says is one of a kind and should be protected from duplication by federal law. Patent examiners at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office disagreed, saying the crimped edges are similar to making ravioli or a pie crust. Smucker already owns a general patent, which it purchased from Len Kretchman and David Geske, two Fargo, N.D., men who came up with the idea in 1995 and had been baking the products for school children. The two cases before the appeals court involved two additional patents that Smucker was seeking to expand its original patent by protecting its method. The company had appealed the initial rejection to the patent office's Board of Patent Appeals and Interferences, but that body upheld the decision to reject the patents. Smucker then took the case to the appeals court, which entered a judgment Friday, without comment, affirming the patent office's decision. Meanwhile, the company's original patent is being re-examined by the patent office. Smucker asked Albie's Foods of Gaylord, Mich., to stop producing ready-made PB&J sandwiches for a school district, but the food manufacturer went to a federal judge in 2001 and then the patent office to invalidate Smucker's original patent. Albie's was "caught off guard, literally, because they didn't think you could patent a peanut butter and jelly sandwich," said the company's lawyer, Kevin Heinl. Brigid Quinn, a spokeswoman for the patent office, said the Smucker case is one of several that seek to test the limits of what federal law has determined can be protected by patents. "There's always more than one view on how it can be interpreted," Quinn said. "They're intellectual judgments that are crossed with scientific knowledge, and it's not black and it's not white. They're judgment calls." The patent office received 376,810 patent applications last year. It usually takes about two-and-a-half years for a patent to be processed. About 65 percent of all patents submitted are approved, Quinn said. "Very few patents are what one would call a 'pioneer patent,' meaning that the inventor discovered something very, very new that has never been discovered before," she said. "Most patents are given to changes to existing technology." Smucker said in a statement released Friday that it was disappointed with the decision but does not anticipate it will affect the company's short- or long-term financial performance. "We bought a unique idea for making an everyday item more convenient (and) made a significant investment in the idea and in developing the innovative manufacturing technology that makes Uncrustables so easy to use," the company said. Smucker's stock price fell 30 cents on Friday to close at $49.67 on the New York Stock Exchange. J.M. Smucker Co.: <a href='http://www.smuckers.com/home.asp' target='_blank'>http://www.smuckers.com/home.asp</a> U.S. Patent & Trademark Office: <a href='http://www.uspto.gov/' target='_blank'>http://www.uspto.gov/</a>

TyVulpine · Postby **TyVulpine** » Sun Apr 10, 2005 6:12 pm

Wonder if I could patent the roast beef sandwich then? <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... s/cool.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='cool.gif' />

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Mon Apr 11, 2005 7:06 pm

The 'Village Idiot' Award sounds a lot like a political election . . . hmm. . .  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Apr 11, 8:10 AM EDT Indiana Man Wins 'Village Idiot' Award STORY, Ind. (AP) -- The competition was fierce and foolish, but a man who accidentally sawed through a live wire and topped that by wrecking his truck hours after buying it more than earned the honorary title "Village Idiot." Mark Carmichael's blunders won him the good-natured award that's been handed out for years in the tiny Brown County town of Story. The winner is whoever gets the most votes from regulars at the Story Inn's saloon. Carmichael, the inn's maintenance man, won in part for an incident in which he cut through a live wire while using a circular saw to replace the inn's galvanized steel roof. But he also damaged his just-purchased 1998 Dodge truck - the day after he got it - by getting it stuck atop a whiskey barrel planter outside the inn. His foolishness earned the 27-year-old a $100 bar tab at the Story Still. Rick Hofstetter, who owns the inn about 40 miles south of Indianapolis, said the competition for this year's award was fierce. For example, two Story Inn regulars were nominated for knocking themselves unconscious while opening their car doors. Another was nominated for burning down his front porch after not fully extinguishing a cigarette in a full ashtray. Bartender Evan McMahon was nominated for opening an $80 bottle of Chalk Hill Chardonnay to make a $6.50 wine spritzer for a bar patron. Not to be outdone, Story Inn housekeeper Kathy Newhall earned her nomination for using French truffle oil from the kitchen, which costs $50 for a 3-ounce bottle, to quiet a squeaky toilet seat. But it was Carmichael who came out on top. The bar's patrons had more than enough evidence to give him the honor - not least of which was the pig roast incident. "I cooked a couple of hogs out there on some bed springs once," he explained to a dismayed visitor. Carmichael had cut the carcasses in half with a chain saw, then used a pitchfork to turn the meat as it cooked. He ended up serving up the portions with a hatchet. "People loved it," he said. "We called it Louisiana style." --- Information from: The Herald Times, <a href='http://www.hoosiertimes.com' target='_blank'>http://www.hoosiertimes.com</a> 2005 The Associated Press.</td></tr></table>

Joe3210 · Postby **Joe3210** » Mon Apr 11, 2005 8:59 pm

That's freaking awesome.

Henohenomoheji · Postby **Henohenomoheji** » Mon Apr 11, 2005 9:36 pm

not to mention probably unsanitary.

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Tue Apr 12, 2005 11:40 pm

So, explain this to me again, why would you steal a corpse's head?  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Apr 12, 1:24 PM EDT Vt. Teen Accused of Stealing Corpse's Head MORRISVILLE, Vt. (AP) -- A 17-year-old Morrisville youth was being held on $100,000 bail after police said he raided a tomb in a cemetery and removed a head from a corpse. "We had a person voice their concerns about information they had heard on the street," said Chief Richard Keith of the Morristown Police Department. Keith said police at first could not believe what they had heard. But when they went to Morrisville Cemetery and investigated, they found that someone had broken into a tomb, broken open the casket and removed a man's head. "We had the funeral director come to the scene and we pulled the casket out. Yes, indeed, we found remains and they had been disturbed," Keith said. Nickolas Buckalew, 17, later was arrested and charged with unauthorized removal of a dead body. He pleaded innocent to the crime. Police believe they have a strong case against Buckalew because remains and evidence were found in a silo near the suspect's home outside the village and one-fifth of a mile from the cemetery. "Within minutes we found the duffle bag with the remains in it and tools that were used to enter the tomb and the casket," Keith said. The victim's widow, the only family member in the area, was told of the vandalism. "The widow was in shock," the chief said. "She did not want any information. She did not want to know any details." Authorities are not sure of the motive of the crime. Court documents said the suspect allegedly talked of using the man's head as a bong or a pipe for smoking marijuana. 2005 The Associated Press</td></tr></table>

Zaaphod · Postby **Zaaphod** » Wed Apr 13, 2005 12:59 am

He wanted to make a bong out of it? <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /blink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='blink.gif' /> It's impossible to overestimate the amount of idiocy out there.

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Wed Apr 13, 2005 1:53 am

Sometimes, you just have to say "No" when the Anti-Christ tells you to do something.  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Apr 11, 10:51 PM EDT Calif. Man Detains Naked Intruder BREA, Calif. (AP) -- A man who awoke Sunday to find an armed and naked intruder standing over his bed subdued the suspect until police arrived, authorities said. Eric Wall, 45, told police that the intruder - identified as 18-year-old Arthur David Macias - was carrying a kitchen knife and said the anti-Christ had sent him to the house to kill Wall. Wall grabbed Macias and pulled him onto the bed. After a short struggle, Macias was detained by Wall and his 15-year-old son, who armed themselves with baseball bats. Police said Macias broke into the Wall's home about 35 miles southeast of Los Angeles by removing a screen from an open laundry room window and stole a knife from the kitchen. Police said Macias did not indicate why he chose the residence. Macias was arrested on attempted murder, making criminal threats, assault with a deadly weapon and burglary. He was being held at the Orange County Jail on $1 million bail. 2005 The Associated Press</td></tr></table>

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 11:49 pm

Anybody remember this post?  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (VisibilityMissing @ Feb 18 2005, 09:24 PM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> I'm not trying to create a theme or anything. I'd never do that <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' />  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Feb 18, 8:37 PM EST Naked Man Flashes Cars on Chilly Highway BAY MINETTE, Ala. (AP) -- Chilly weather hasn't kept a naked man from flashing traffic on Interstate 65 in north Baldwin County in Alabama. </td></tr></table>  </td></tr></table>  OK, so the Alabama Streak, Part II:  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Apr 15, 6:05 PM EDT Man Accused of Being I-65 Flasher Caught EVERGREEN, Ala. (AP) -- A man who allegedly has been flashing motorists on Interstate 65 for months was caught in a police chase when a tire blew out on his getaway vehicle. He was wearing only tennis shoes. Mark D. Estis, 45, was arrested after motorists reported seeing a naked man just before 10 a.m. Thursday on the interstate, about 9 miles southwest of Evergreen. Alabama Bureau of Investigation Agent Doug Darby spotted a suspicious vehicle. Conecuh County Sheriff's Investigator Tyrone Boykin said he arrived to help Darby just as Estis, wearing only tennis shoes, emerged from woods and got into the vehicle. Estis sped off, Boykin said, but was caught after one of his tires blew out. Estis was charged with resisting arrest, attempting to elude, reckless endangerment and three counts of indecent exposure. Officers said Estis is responsible for the incident reported Thursday and two others at the same location earlier this month. Investigators also believe he is the same man flashing motorists along I-65 in north Baldwin County for months. "He told us he had been doing this about a year, and said he had problems and wanted help. He didn't say what made him start," Boykin said. 2005 The Associated Press</td></tr></table>

Zaaphod · Postby **Zaaphod** » Sun Apr 17, 2005 2:07 am

Ahh, so the terror that's been stalking north Baldwin County, Alabama, has finally been apprehended. I-65 is safe for children again. <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... tongue.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tongue.gif' />

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