Weird News

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 12:07 am

More animal problems . . .  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Jun 27, 5:11 PM EDT Ore. Animal Officials Snare Loose Caiman EUGENE, Ore. (AP) -- Found: One caiman, rather large, lizzard-like, lots of sharp teeth. Contact the Lane County Animal Regulation Authority. Please. No questions asked. When a resident looked out his window on Friday he could have worn he saw an alligator. He was mostly right. A 4-foot-long caiman, a relative of the alligator, was curled up under a parked pickup truck. Caimans are native to Central and South America. "It was pretty dangerous," said Mike Wellington, program manager for the Lane County Animal Regulation Authority. "It could definitely take down a small child or small animals." Armed with a catch pole usually used on dogs, animal control officers Bernard Perkins and Becky von Steine approached the caiman. Perkins knew he had to act fast before the creature went into its "death roll." When large reptiles feel trapped or threatened, they roll over again and again. If they have prey in their jaws, the technique helps tear off limbs and other body parts for easier munching. If the caiman had rolled after Perkins leashed him, the animal could have strangled on the cable loop, Wellington said. Perkins got the reptile into a large crate without any permanent damage to man or beast. At the weekend it was lounging at the animal shelter in a space usually reserved for homeless chickens. "He's pretty happy," Wellington said. It's legal to own such reptiles in Oregon, Wellington said, and the owner isn't in any trouble. However a neighbor says her cat is missing. The animal authority is hoping the caiman's owner will claim him. "We're not really set up for this kind of animal," Wellington said. --- Information from: The Register-Guard, <a href='http://www.registerguard.com' target='_blank'>http://www.registerguard.com</a> 2005 The Associated Press.</td></tr></table>

Zaaphod · Postby **Zaaphod** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 12:58 am

Ahh, it appears the thing ate the neighbor's cat. How pleasant. <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... ns/dry.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='dry.gif' />

Gizensha · Postby **Gizensha** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 1:13 am

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: (Zaaphod @ Jun 28 2005, 12:58 AM)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Ahh, it appears the thing ate the neighbor's cat. How pleasant. <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... ns/dry.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='dry.gif' />  </td></tr></table>  Well, gater gotta getta snap ta eat... *ducks whatever projectiles head his way*

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 9:43 pm

More kangaroo problems: From Wisconsin to West Virginia, and now Indiana  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Jun 28, 4:44 PM EDT Kangaroo on the Loose Near Indiana Airport SOUTH BEND, Ind. (AP) -- At first glance, Walt Temple thought the animal he saw hopping through the city was a deer. "But then, why would it be on its back legs?" he wondered. It turns out a deer wouldn't be hopping on its hind legs. But a kangaroo would. So he called South Bend Animal Care and Control on Monday to let them know he thought he just saw a kangaroo, not far from the South Bend Regional Airport. "I didn't believe him," animal control officer Sumyr Springfield said. Then Springfield, who was first on the scene, saw the top of the kangaroo's head. It was time to call for backup. Additional officers began scouring the brush and looking into drain pipes looking for the kangaroo. The search continued Tuesday, although officials don't know where the animal would have come from. The Potawatomi Zoo said it was not missing any animals and airport officials said they did not know of any runaway kangaroos. Kim Lucas, a supervisor with animal control, said the kangaroo is likely not a danger to anyone. "It would likely run away from people," she said. --- Information from: South Bend Tribune, <a href='http://www.southbendtribune.com' target='_blank'>http://www.southbendtribune.com</a> 2005 The Associated Press.</td></tr></table>  >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>. But, it makes things so much more convenient!  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> From the Los Angeles Times Aquarium Shouldn't Serve Fish, PETA Says The animal rights group asks the Long Beach attraction to get seafood off its menu. By Amanda Covarrubias Times Staff Writer Published June 28, 2005 An animal rights group wants the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach to gut its cafeteria menu of fish and seafood, arguing that "serving fish at an aquarium is like serving poodle burgers at a dog show." Like Lilo in the animated "Lilo and Stitch," who refused to make a tuna sandwich for her friend, Pudge, a fish, because it would be "an abomination," the head of the Fish Empathy Project for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals said serving fish at an aquarium just isn't right. "An institution with a mission that includes teaching people to respect and appreciate marine animals certainly shouldn't serve fish in its cafeteria," Karin Robertson wrote last week in a letter to Jerry Schabel, the aquarium's chairman and chief executive. Robertson, who runs a website called fishinghurts.com, said recent studies have showed that fish are "intelligent, sensitive and interesting animals." "Fish are far more intelligent than previously thought, and in some respects their cognitive abilities surpass those of dogs and some nonhuman primates," she wrote to Schabel. "The treatment of both commercially caught fish and fish from fish farms would warrant cruelty-to-animals charges in your state if animals we are more familiar with, like dogs and cats, were treated as badly." Aquarium officials say they won't ban from their kitchens sustainable seafood, such as tilapia, farmed clams and wild-caught Alaskan salmon, that can be replenished through such means as fish farms. The facility said it co-sponsors a Seafood Watch program with the Monterey Bay Aquarium designed to educate the public about the types of fish that are safe to eat and those to avoid because they are endangered or are caught using methods harmful to other sea creatures. "Like PETA, we are committed to animals and their conservation, and we appreciate that commitment," Schabel said in a statement Monday. She said some people coming to the aquarium "may want to eat seafood. Rather than eat seafood from unsustainable sources, we stand committed to offering them the alternative of eating only sustainable or environmentally friendly seafood." The 1.25 million people who visit the aquarium each year can choose from an array of seafood dishes, including clam chowder, rainbow trout and catfish, as well as tilapia and salmon, said spokeswoman Marilyn Padilla. Despite the aquarium's denying her request, Robertson said she will send letters to other aquariums around the country to point out what she calls the hypocrisy of their menus. "They should be serving exclusively vegetarian food, not just for the health of their patrons but for the animals they contend to be supporting," she said Monday. "They don't sell elephant burgers at the zoo, and they shouldn't be selling fish at aquariums." Copyright 2005, The Los Angeles Times </td></tr></table>

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 2:12 am

Stupidity while shopping . . .  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Man Accused of Drunk Shopping Cart Driving DEVILS LAKE, N.D. - A man is accused of driving an electric-powered shopping cart around a grocery store here while drunk, endangering other customers. Clifford Mattson, 27, was charged with disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor, Detective Sue Schwab said Tuesday. Schwab said police went to the Leevers grocery store Monday afternoon, after reports of a drunken man driving the shopping cart into people and nearly knocking them down. "He appeared to be actually driving after them," Schwab said. No one was hurt, she said. The maximum penalty for the misdemeanor charge is 30 days in jail and a $500 fine, Schwab said. A court hearing was set for July 19.</td></tr></table>

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 7:41 pm

What? That's wrong?  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Teacher accused of enlisting students in fire plot Thu Jun 30, 9:13 AM ET HOUSTON (Reuters) - Two failing students face arson charges after accepting teacher Tramesha Lashon Fox's offer of a passing score in exchange for torching her car in a botched insurance scheme, authorities said on Wednesday. "All three have confessed," senior fire investigator Dustin Deutsch of the Harris County Fire Marshal's Office said. Fox, 32, was in the process of surrendering to authorities, Deutsch and Fox's attorney told Reuters. Roger Luna, 18, was arrested on Tuesday while Darwin Arias, 17, was not yet in custody, Deutsch said. The two males each face one count of arson, punishable by two to 20 years in prison. Fox faces charges of arson and insurance fraud, also punishable by two to 20 years in prison. Fox's 2003 Chevrolet Malibu was reported stolen on May 27 and was found burned with signs of forced theft 12 days later in a wooded area near Arias' home, investigators said. Investigators became suspicious when they learned Fox had bought a new 2005 Toyota Corolla a week before the Malibu -- on which she owed $20,000 -- was reported stolen. "During preliminary interviews with the teacher, she advised us it was the work of students and gave us a list of six or seven, which I thought was kind of suspicious," Deutsch said, noting Luna and Arias were not on the list. A check of calls made from Fox's cell phone pointed toward one of the other suspects, Deutsch said. Fox confessed in a subsequent interview and fingered Luna and Arias, he said. Fox's attorney told Reuters he did not have enough information to comment on the details of the case. </td></tr></table>

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Fri Jul 01, 2005 11:22 pm

You know, this makes contract negotiation more difficult.  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Jul 1, 12:24 PM EDT Teacher Used Sick Days for Pro Wrestling NEW YORK (AP) -- A high school social studies teacher took 11 sick days so he could perform as a professional wrestler with moves he called the "lungblower" and the "over drive," investigators said. The school system is seeking reimbursement from Matthew Kaye, 31, who has resigned. According to investigators, Kaye told school officials he was taking the sick days in December and February to care for an ill sister, and he sometimes provided doctors' notes. They said they later discovered that his wrestling Web site listed him as being on tour for World Wrestling Entertainment on those days. Kaye's site lists him as Matt Striker, saying he has also performed under names including Matt Martel and Hydro, part of a tag team called Los Lunatics. "He is known for his charisma, his ability to adjust and his innovative manuvers like: The Over Drive (a modified swinging neckbreaker) as well as the Lungblower and other unusual submission and impact moves," the site says. Kaye, who taught social studies at Benjamin Cardozo High School, stepped down in April after investigators tried to interview him about his second career. Schools Special Investigator Richard Condon recommended that Kaye not be rehired. Kaye said he was willing to repay the money and hoped to get his job back. In a statement on his site, Kaye said he didn't realize sick days and personal days "were two entirely different things." He said he had good relationships with his students and many of them did well on their examinations "because I taught them!" "I would have been better off beating a kid, because those teachers always seem to keep their jobs," he told the Daily News. --- On the Net: Wrestler homepage: <a href='http://www.thisisstriker.com' target='_blank'>http://www.thisisstriker.com</a> 2005 The Associated Press.</td></tr></table>

Zaaphod · Postby **Zaaphod** » Sat Jul 02, 2005 1:05 am

Good heavens, what is it with these teachers??? <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /blink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='blink.gif' />

Bocaj Claw · Postby **Bocaj Claw** » Sat Jul 02, 2005 1:08 am

Trying to fill the old "Boring teacher by day, wrestler by night" cliche?

VisibilityMissing · Postby **VisibilityMissing** » Tue Jul 05, 2005 8:47 pm

If NASA hasn't had enough trouble, here's another accusation . . .  <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Jul 5, 3:37 PM EDT Astrologer Sues NASA Over Comet Mission MOSCOW (AP) -- NASA's mission that sent a space probe smashing into a comet raised more than cosmic dust - it also brought a lawsuit from a Russian astrologer. Marina Bai has sued the U.S. space agency, claiming the Deep Impact probe that punched a crater into the comet Tempel 1 late Sunday "ruins the natural balance of forces in the universe," the newspaper Izvestia reported Tuesday. A Moscow court has postponed hearings on the case until late July, the paper said. Scientists say the crash did not significantly alter the comet's orbit around the sun and said the experiment does not pose any danger to Earth. The probe's comet crash sent up a cloud of debris that scientists hope to examine to learn how the solar system was formed. Bai is seeking damages totaling $300 million - the approximate equivalent of the mission's cost - for her "moral sufferings," Izvestia said, citing her lawyer Alexander Molokhov. She earlier told the paper that the experiment would "deform her horoscope." NASA representatives in Russia and at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, Calif., could not be reached for comment on the case. 2005 The Associated Press. </td></tr></table>

Bocaj Claw · Postby **Bocaj Claw** » Tue Jul 05, 2005 11:06 pm

Putting aside my disbelief of superstition for one minute, I still think that this astrologer is crazy. $300 million for "moral suffering"? Just what we need another frivolous lawsuit.

Zaaphod · Postby **Zaaphod** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 12:46 am

That's ridiculous. NASA's next mission should be to fling that astrologer into a comet.

Bocaj Claw · Postby **Bocaj Claw** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 1:43 am

As long as they're using lots of tax dollars to send stuff into space they might as well, right? <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... s/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif' />

Tom Flapwell · Postby **Tom Flapwell** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 1:29 pm

I don't know when's the last time I heard about a lawsuit that I didn't think was absurdly overpriced. If this woman were suing for, say, $3,000, I could believe that she believed it to be fair. This must be a bid for attention, which these days is valued even when "negative."

Steve the Pocket · Postby **Steve the Pocket** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 8:35 pm

<table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'>Quote: </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> She earlier told the paper that the experiment would "deform her horoscope."</td></tr></table>  Yeah, now it probably says something like, "Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss's face." <img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... tongue.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tongue.gif' />

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