Weird News

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VisibilityMissing
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Postby VisibilityMissing » Tue Aug 10, 2004 2:53 am

Wrong, so very wrong . . .<br><br><a href='http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/loca ... slocal-hed' target='_blank'>Bus waste scuttles boat tour</a>: Make sure you have a change of clothes when visiting the Windy City . . .<br><br>EDIT:<br><br>Sorry about that, thought I'd gotten past the sign in . . . Here you go.<br><br>Bus waste scuttles boat tour<br> <br>By Angela Rozas and Brett McNeil<br>Tribune staff reporters<br><br>August 9, 2004<br><br>At the outset of a Chicago River boat tour Sunday, Capt. Sonja Lund deadpanned that passengers should not look up with their mouths open when passing under the city's grated bridges, lest they get a true "taste of Chicago."<br><br>About 15 minutes later, passengers got more than that. They got a deluge when the boat was doused with a foul "liquid substance" that appeared to drop from one or two charter buses as the boat passed under the Kinzie Street bridge, passengers and tour officials said.<br><br>Witnesses said they had just begun the Chicago Architecture Foundation's 1 p.m. tour when they passed under the bridge and a cascade of a "brownish-yellow" substance rained on them. About two-thirds of the passengers seated on the upper deck of Chicago's Little Lady were soaked. Passengers said they looked up to see at least one, possibly two charter buses rumbling above.<br><br>A volunteer tour guide at the boat's helm reassured passengers that they had been splashed with water. But the foul smell prompted suspicion.<br><br>There was "stunned silence initially. Then sort of this horrible realization as they began to smell themselves as to what happened," said Steedman Bass, 35, of Boston, who was a passenger on the boat but was not sprayed. "It was horrific."<br><br>Passengers shouted that police should be called and demanded the boat be turned around. Within minutes, the tour headed back to the dock at Michigan Avenue and Lower Wacker Drive, speeding as "fast as the boat would go," Lund said.<br><br>Some passengers became sick from the smell and made use of the boat's lower-deck bathrooms, Bass said.<br><br>At the dock, the 120 passengers disembarked and were given refunds for the $25 tickets, exchanges or open-ended tickets for later tours. Some were given cab fare to get back to hotels and some passengers' dry-cleaning bills will be paid, foundation officials said. The boat's crew swabbed the deck clean and set off only slightly delayed for the 3 p.m. tour.<br><br>"We feel very badly for these people who have had this day's event ruined," said Bastiaan Bouma, vice president of marketing and tours for the foundation. In 50 years of operation, the tour has never experienced something like this, he said.<br><br>"Obviously, this wasn't our fault. But we were just trying to make it as comfortable for the passengers as possible."<br><br>Bouma said that he was told that someone recorded license plate numbers from the bus or buses and reported the plates to police. He said he hoped to know the name of the company by Monday morning and would demand the company's buses be inspected for defects.<br><br>"Tomorrow morning we'll find out what buses were involved, and hopefully we'll get some answers," he said.<br><br>Police confirmed a report had been made, but said it was not being investigated as a crime.<br><br>A local tour bus company official said he had never heard of a bus unloading liquid waste into the river from a bridge. Charter bus companies typically contract with disposal companies to get rid of their waste or dump it at their own disposal sites, he said.<br><br>Passengers said they were shocked at the awful timing of the improbable hit.<br><br>"If you tried to orchestrate this, it would be an almost impossible scenario," Bass said.<br><br>Copyright 2004, Chicago Tribune
"The beauty of this is that it is only of theoretical importance,
and there is no way it can be of any practical use whatsoever."
- Sidney Harris


"Perhaps they've discovered the giant whoopee cushion I hid
under the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge." http://ozyandmillie.org/2002/01/03/ozy-and-millie-819/

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Postby Softpaw » Tue Aug 10, 2004 3:10 am

Please don't link to news sites that require accounts, copy & paste instead.

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VisibilityMissing
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Postby VisibilityMissing » Tue Aug 10, 2004 3:36 am

Sorry about that, thought I'd gotten past it . . . see above.<br><br>EDIT: Hey, it even made the <a href='http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/B/ ... TE=DEFAULT' target='_blank'>AP feed</a>!
"The beauty of this is that it is only of theoretical importance,
and there is no way it can be of any practical use whatsoever."
- Sidney Harris


"Perhaps they've discovered the giant whoopee cushion I hid
under the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge." http://ozyandmillie.org/2002/01/03/ozy-and-millie-819/

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Postby Gizensha » Tue Aug 10, 2004 7:27 am

That's... Disgustingly impressive even for the universe's sense of humour.
SirQuirkyK: GSNN argued that Unanonemous is to sociologists what DoND is to statisticians
Gizensha Fox: ...Porn?
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Postby Gizensha » Tue Aug 10, 2004 7:46 pm

<a href='http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/3549242.stm' target='_blank'>http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/3549 ... r><br>Well, this one's fun. Wouldn't want to be on one of the trains when it happened, though.
SirQuirkyK: GSNN argued that Unanonemous is to sociologists what DoND is to statisticians
Gizensha Fox: ...Porn?
Livejournal, Greatestjournal

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Postby Tavis » Tue Aug 10, 2004 11:56 pm

Nashville TN: <a href='http://www.newschannel5.com/content/news/6350.asp' target='_blank'>State Investigates Blasting Accident</a> - The planned blasting meant to prepare a development site takes out a bunch of cars and a Holiday Inn. What are they putting there? A Target store. Oh, the irony.<br><br>Reuters UK: <a href='http://www.reuters.co.uk/newsArticle.jh ... ction=news' target='_blank'>Flight turns back after cat attacks pilot</a> - Looks like pilots need to protect themselves from animals too.

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VisibilityMissing
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Postby VisibilityMissing » Wed Aug 11, 2004 12:36 am

Must've been a trained terrorist attack cat . . .<br><br>A Target store, huh. Can probably call it the Ground Zero Target. Did you notice it was the ACME Excavating Company?
"The beauty of this is that it is only of theoretical importance,
and there is no way it can be of any practical use whatsoever."
- Sidney Harris


"Perhaps they've discovered the giant whoopee cushion I hid
under the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge." http://ozyandmillie.org/2002/01/03/ozy-and-millie-819/

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Postby VisibilityMissing » Fri Aug 13, 2004 3:18 am

<a href='http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/G/ ... TE=DEFAULT' target='_blank'>Courthouse'Ghost' Identified As Insect</a>: Courthouse Ghost Part 2, the buggy camera. You know, if you stopped cleaning the lenses with sugar water . . .
"The beauty of this is that it is only of theoretical importance,
and there is no way it can be of any practical use whatsoever."
- Sidney Harris


"Perhaps they've discovered the giant whoopee cushion I hid
under the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge." http://ozyandmillie.org/2002/01/03/ozy-and-millie-819/

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Gizensha
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Postby Gizensha » Fri Aug 13, 2004 4:31 pm

Ah. The rationalist vs the ghost investigator. Always a fun debate.
SirQuirkyK: GSNN argued that Unanonemous is to sociologists what DoND is to statisticians
Gizensha Fox: ...Porn?
Livejournal, Greatestjournal

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VisibilityMissing
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Postby VisibilityMissing » Tue Aug 17, 2004 1:45 am

<a href='http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/C/ ... TE=DEFAULT' target='_blank'>Costco Begins Test Marketing Caskets</a>: The key is repeat business, I hear . . . <br><br>So wrong, so very wrong.
"The beauty of this is that it is only of theoretical importance,
and there is no way it can be of any practical use whatsoever."
- Sidney Harris


"Perhaps they've discovered the giant whoopee cushion I hid
under the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge." http://ozyandmillie.org/2002/01/03/ozy-and-millie-819/

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Postby Dr. Dos » Wed Aug 18, 2004 6:32 am

<a href='http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=s ... any_jam_dc' target='_blank'>Almost Millie but not quite</a>
Anami: Sex with a giant, black scorpion seems fun.

<SteveThePocket> Geez. I want more of this stuff now. Now I know how a horny guy on an imageboard feels.

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Ibun
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Postby Ibun » Wed Aug 18, 2004 1:10 pm

Can you say Dragon Conspiracy?
Killin' the first born of lyrical Yul Brynners.

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Ozymandias
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Postby Ozymandias » Wed Aug 18, 2004 11:05 pm

Im afraid not. This is a wasp conspiracy; note the simplicity of it.
The end is nigh!

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VisibilityMissing
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Postby VisibilityMissing » Fri Aug 20, 2004 3:29 am

<a href='http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/H/ ... TE=DEFAULT' target='_blank'>Woman Celebrates 95th Birthday on Harley</a>: There's a Monty Python sketch in this somewhere . . .
"The beauty of this is that it is only of theoretical importance,
and there is no way it can be of any practical use whatsoever."
- Sidney Harris


"Perhaps they've discovered the giant whoopee cushion I hid
under the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge." http://ozyandmillie.org/2002/01/03/ozy-and-millie-819/

Dr. Dos
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Postby Dr. Dos » Fri Aug 20, 2004 6:52 pm

<a href='http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=s ... wing_teens' target='_blank'>I don't know how they did it.</a> There's nothing good on tv these days...
Anami: Sex with a giant, black scorpion seems fun.

<SteveThePocket> Geez. I want more of this stuff now. Now I know how a horny guy on an imageboard feels.


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