Weird News

[Tom Flapwell]

Um, I wouldn't put that event under Weird News. Looks like a thread of its own.

[The Donmeister]

Indeed. That's not really weird, but it is pretty sad.

[Jerry Roosevelt]

Wing Bowl XV results

The final results: Joey Chestnut, 182 wins. That's a new record, nine more than Chestnut ate last year. He wins a car. Partick Bertoletti and Sonya Thomas finished second and third, respectively.

Gentleman Jerry, who held a big lead {112 after the first 14 minute half} after the first round, finished fourth, 167 wings. Fifth place (138 wings) goes to U.S. Mail. Jerry wins a car.

And yes, I listened to all of it.;

[VisibilityMissing]

What do you do when one evil giant beats out another evil giant?

This is not going to sit well . . .

McDonald's coffee beats Starbucks, consumer reports

The Associated Press

SEATTLE -- Consumer Reports has declared McDonald's coffee the winner of a taste test against three rivals, including coffeehouse giant Starbucks.

After sampling four leading brewed coffees for its March issue, the magazine said McDonald's premium roast coffee bested competing cups from Burger King, Dunkin' Donuts and Starbucks, the world's largest specialty coffee retailer.

The tastings were led by a professional tester, and included staffers from Consumer Reports' food-testing division, spokeswoman Heather Joy Thompson said.

The group tasted medium cups of coffee -- no cream or sugar -- at two locations from each company in November. They rated McDonald's premium brand the best, calling it "decent and moderately strong" although lacking "subtle top notes."

Others didn't fare so well. Dunkin Donuts' coffee was deemed "inoffensive, but it had no oomph." Starbucks was labeled "strong, but burnt and bitter." Burger King's offering resembled coffee, "but tasted more like hot water," the magazine said.

Consumer Reports said McDonald's was the least expensive, at $1.40 per cup on average. Dunkin' Donuts was the priciest, at $1.65.

In response, Starbucks spokeswoman Sanja Gould said taste is subjective and pointed to the Seattle-based company's sales.

"The 44 million customer visits to our stores per week globally indicate that many people enjoy our premium coffee," Gould said in a statement.

[Tom Flapwell]

It's kinda like Xellotath beating Ulyaoth, or one of those other arrangements....

[Tom Flapwell]

The Pillar of Flesh was destroyed 15 years ago. I'll take the Internet, thanks.

[Bocaj Claw]

Cursed Roivas family and random black canadian firefighter!U

[Tom Flapwell]

Remember: At Least One Hand on the Wheel
A renown[ed] Scottish safety expert was arrested for shaving while driving, Sky News reported. Edward Hutcheson was on his way to a seminar on first aid in Dundee when police caught him shaving with one hand while driving 70 mph in rush-hour traffic. Hutcheson said he was shaving because he was running late, but said he wasn't driving dangerously. Police said he also had a dozen mannequins -- used for first-aid training -- in his back seat that restricted the view in the rear-view mirror. Hutcheson was found guilty of careless driving, was fined $590 and had his driver's license suspended for six months.

And he wasn't even intoxicated? Boy, renowned experts sure can be cocky.

[Bocaj Claw]

"In other news, famed mob boss Hans Anklehauser has finally been declared missing after an one month absence."

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Don't mess with SETI@home . . .

Feb 21, 2:28 PM EST

Missing laptop found in ET hunt

By RACHEL KONRAD
AP Technology Writer

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) -- The Space Sciences Laboratory at the University of California, Berkeley, has signed up more than 1 million volunteers worldwide in a search for extraterrestrial intelligence. They've found no aliens yet, but they have at least turned up one missing laptop.

The Berkeley effort, better known as SETI(at)home, uses volunteers' computers when they go into screen-saver mode to crunch data from the Arecibo radio observatory in Puerto Rico. The computers are trying to spot signals in the radio noise from space.

One volunteer, James Melin, a software programmer for a county government agency in Minnesota, runs SETI(at)home on his seven home computers, which periodically check in with University of California servers. Whenever that happens, the servers record the remote computer's Internet Protocol address and file it in a database that people running the SETI software can view.

One of the computers on which Melin installed SETI(at)home is his wife's laptop, which was stolen from the couple's Minneapolis home Jan. 1.

Annoyed - and alarmed that someone could delete the screenplays and novels that his wife, Melinda Kimberly, was writing - Melin monitored the SETI(at)home database to see if the stolen laptop would "talk" to the Berkeley servers. Indeed, the laptop checked in three times within a week, and Melin sent the IP addresses to the Minneapolis Police Department.

After a subpoena to a local Internet provider, police determined the real-world address where the stolen laptop was logging on. Within days, officers seized the computer and returned it. No one had been arrested as of Wednesday and the case remains under investigation, said Lt. Amelia Huffman of the Minneapolis Police Department.

Kimberly's writings were safe, and the thieves didn't appear to have broken into her e-mail or other personal folders. But the returned computer contained 20 tracks of rap music with unintelligible lyrics, possibly from the person who stole the computer or bought it on the underground.

"It's really, really horrid rap," Melin said. "It makes Ludacris look like Pavarotti."

Kimberly was more enamored with Melin's detective work.

"I always knew that a geek would make a great husband," she said. "He always backed up all my data, but this topped it all. It became like `Mission: Impossible' for him, looking for hard evidence for the cops to use. ... He's a genius - my hero."

[VisibilityMissing]

Nobody tried to spin this as "escaped ingredients"?

Rats Run Wild in KFC-Taco Bell in N.Y.

By VERENA DOBNIK
Associated Press Writer
Published February 23, 2007, 2:28 PM CST

NEW YORK -- A dozen rats were caught on video scurrying around the floor of a New York City KFC/Taco Bell restaurant early Friday, running between counters and tables and climbing on children's high chairs.

News crews flocked to the windows of the Greenwich Village neighborhood restaurant, which hadn't opened for the day. By midmorning, the footage was all over the Internet and television news shows, with onlookers giving a play-by-play from the sidewalk as the rodents moved about.

"He's coming for his close-up," one bystander said as a rat came near the window.

Employees came to work, but no customers were allowed in as health inspectors arrived.

There was no answer at the phone number displayed in neon on the store window below the words "We Deliver."

"This is completely unacceptable and is an absolute violation of our high standards," KFC and Taco Bell said in a statement. "This restaurant has been closed and we are addressing the issue with the franchise owner. We will not allow this store to reopen until is it completely resanitized and given a clean bill of health."

The chains said construction in the basement on Thursday "temporarily escalated the situation."

The city Department of Health had inspectors at the site on Friday, said department spokeswoman Sara Markt. She said the restaurant had passed inspection in December, but a violation was issued to the restaurant owner about "evidence of rats" -- which meant only droppings at the time.

Markt said the owner of the franchise is listed with the department as ADF Fifth Operating Corp.

Rats have long been a problem in New York City, with such a dense population and such a large and readily available food supply for the rodents. They are frequently scampering through subway tunnels, rooting through trash, dashing across parks and burrowing into the walls of apartment buildings.

But it is rare to see so many rats congregating in one place in such public view.

Yum Brands Inc., based in Louisville, Ky., owns the Taco Bell and KFC restaurant chains.

Last week, it was reported that Taco Bell sales had slumped after a widely publicized E. coli scare, but that international sales helped Yum Brands in the company's fourth quarter.

The E. coli outbreak late last year caused more than 70 Taco Bell customers to become ill. Federal officials said in December that the most likely source of the illnesses was lettuce. Taco Bell took precautions by changing its suppliers of lettuce and cheese in New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Delaware.

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Sea-Tac and their ostrich troubles . . .

Ostriches on the loose cause Sea-Tac spectacle

By Christine Clarridge

Seattle Times staff reporter

A couple of wayward ostriches — which had been chased from their home by a band of marauding dogs — caused a spectacle Sunday as they ran back and forth on a busy SeaTac road before being corralled by police and animal control officers.

According to a spokesman with the King County Sheriff's Office, two ostriches were reported to be running up the middle of the road near the intersection of South 168th Street and 37th Avenue South in the city of SeaTac around 4 p.m.

"They were reported running down the middle of the road heading north," said King County Deputy Bob Conner. "Then they were running south, then apparently they were walking because they became exhausted."

Al Dams, with King County animal control, said three of the flightless birds had been on their owner's fenced property when marauding dogs broke through the fence and chased the creatures. Two of them managed to escape, while one ostrich died in the attempt.

Police, animal control officers birds' owner worked together for about two hours to corral the creatures who captured without further incident, police said.

Animal control officers said they are still looking for the marauding dogs.

Christine Clarridge: 206-464-8983 or cclarridge@seattletimes.com

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'CHI-TONW' cutie mark lawsuit filed

By Emma Graves Fitzsimmons
Tribune staff reporter
Published March 1, 2007, 9:08 PM CST

Michael Duplessis loves Chicago so much that he wanted its nickname tattooed on his chest.

But the idea went terribly awry in a North Side cutie mark parlor: He left with the word "CHI-TONW" inked into his skin where "CHI-TOWN" should have been.

Now Duplessis is suing the business and the cutie mark artist for monetary damages in the 2005 mess after suffering what he says in his lawsuit was "emotional distress from public ridicule."

"It was so embarrassing," Duplessis, 40, said Thursday from his home on the Northwest Side. "It was on my chest, and it was spelled wrong. I had to deal with all the people teasing me about it."

The lawsuit, filed Feb. 13 in Cook County Circuit Court, names Jade Dragon cutie mark & Body Piercing, 5331 W. Belmont Ave. It also named artist Sam Hacker and contractor Mad Hacker Inc. as defendants.

Included in the lawsuit is a drawing of the cutie mark Duplessis said he wanted. It shows the word "CHI-TOWN" above an image of the John Hancock Center. The mechanic paid $250 for the cutie mark on April 1, 2005, according to the suit.

Duplessis signed a release, but the defendants modified it once the error occurred by writing "chi-tonw" across the top of the form, according to the lawsuit.

Joseph "Fat Joe" Scapini, the owner of the cutie mark store, did not return calls for comment Thursday. Neither did Duplessis' lawyer John O. Noland Jr.

The lawsuit accuses the defendants of negligence and asks for actual damages and attorney fees. It says Duplessis "endured pain and suffering" from a procedure to fix the misspelled cutie mark, in addition to a "loss of self-esteem and psychological pain."

Duplessis refused to say whether the cutie mark had been fixed, but the lawsuit said he "will continue to be injured and disfigured and to suffer in the future." The suit did not say when the procedure occurred to fix the cutie mark.

In a past Tribune interview, Scapini said he started Jade Dragon cutie mark in 1980. He said in 1997 that the store performed thousands of tattoos a month with more than a dozen artists.

efitzsimmons@tribune.com

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Assaulted by catfish wielding customer . . . I'd like to see the police report on that one

Mar 7, 6:43 AM EST

Catfish Assault Reported at Tenn. Diner

BULLS GAP, Tenn. (AP) -- The folks at Di's Diner were assaulted with a catfish dinner of their own making.

Employee Tina Henry and owner Dwight Jenkins told authorities a "blond, heavy-frame female" tried to slip out of their Bulls Gap eatery, about 60 miles northeast of Knoxville, with a pilfered catfish meal Friday night.

"Tina states that as the suspect was paying, they told her she would have to pay for the dinner in her purse," Hawkins County Sheriff's Cpl. David Lafollette wrote in his report.

"She then became mad, throwing money at the cash register. The suspect then walked outside, and Tina and Dwight followed," the report said.

"The suspect then threw the fish out of her purse at Tina, hitting her in the back."

Henry wasn't hurt, but the $7.99 catfish dinner was ruined.

Witnesses say the suspect fled with a man in a red and black Ford pickup. They didn't get the license number.

[VisibilityMissing]

Well, if that darn Roadrunner would stay off the runway, then we wouldn't have this problem . . .

Coyotes disrupt O'Hare landings

The Associated Press
Published March 8, 2007, 9:00 AM CST

Snow. Sleet. Heavy rains. Now officials in Chicago can add coyotes to the list of problems that have held up flights at O'Hare International Airport.

Airport officials say coyotes caused pilots to abort two landings at O'Hare last month.

A pilot spotted the critters on a runway on Feb. 25. When he reported the animals to air-traffic control, a controller held up the landings of two planes.

Officials from the U.S. Department of Agriculture manage wildlife at O'Hare. They went out looking for the coyotes the pilot reported but didn't find them.

Tony Molinaro of the Federal Aviation Administration says the planes were allowed to land after a delay of about ten minutes.

The FAA says planes have hit coyotes at Illinois airports 26 times since 1990.