Jokes, Jokes, tell me Jokes.

[teozo]

It's easy one tells a joke and some one else trys to make a funnyer one.
I'm not very original with jokes so I'll take the ones from a Croatian sitcom.

Reportres: To find love before marige or to find love in maridge.
Barman: What are you reading there?
Studentes(repo. friend): A magazine article about free to chose maridge and aranged maridges.
Barman: Why?
Reportres: Couse it was like that by us to.
Barman: I dont understand you wemon. How can you think about such things? It's like chuseing betweane suacide and being killed.

[CoreyFox]

Man: Okay, 6 men go apple-picking. Each man picks one apple. How many apples do all the men have altogether?
Woman: 6.
Man: Wrong.
Woman: How can that be wrong?
Man: Because one of the men was named Each Man.

[teozo]

Trawler: What will you do When judgament day comes.
Srećko LeÅ¡: When what come? hic
Shopkeeaper: You know, the end of the world.
Srečko LeÅ¡: O, propably drink till I drop. what will you do?
Trawler: I'll f**k everything, I'll f**k anything that moves or does some thing I'll f**k it all! And what will you do.
Shopkepper: I'll try not to move at all.

[optiMITCHprime]

this is a true story, but a woman sued her company after winning a contest stating that she would get a new toyota, but instead of getting a new car, she got a toy yoda! once again, this is a true story.

[teozo]

Nice one if I may say so

[Tom Flapwell]

Trawler: What will you do When judgament day comes.
Srećko LeÅ¡: When what come? hic
Shopkeeaper: You know, the end of the world.
Srečko LeÅ¡: O, propably drink till I drop. what will you do?
Trawler: I'll f**k everything, I'll f**k anything that moves or does some thing I'll f**k it all! And what will you do.
Shopkepper: I'll try not to move at all.

Croatia has its own version of Kevin Smith?

[CodeCat]

Three men walk into a bar. Seeing that, the fourth one carefully ducks under it.

[MandoAndy]

Good one, CodeCat! Made me giggle. =)

A skeleton walks into a bar, and orders a drink and a mop!

*rimshot*

[Muninn]

I'm sitting on my watch so I can be on time.

[Baconsticks]

This thread


(sorry, someone had to say it)

[teozo]

one
Barman: I love being in bed with my wife.
Dolina: I tought You didn't like your wife.
Barman: I dont, when we make love she closes her eyes.
Dolina: Why does she close her eyes?
Barman: She can't stand seeing me happy.

two
Dolina(to Barman): It was a nice party yesterday.
Reporetes: What was yesterday?
Dolina: Saturday
Reportres: I know that, I ment what happend yesterday.
Barman: A prist was here.
Dolina: He managed to marie 10 couples in one day.
Reportres: Wow some efort.
Barman: And after a few drinks he went on the stage and said to all the men that they sholud feel lucky that they have some one that loves them and that they should hug that person right now.
Reportres: So.
Dolina: All men hugged the barman(he gets red).

three(today happend)
(Telephone rings)
Barman:Did Some One Call For Me. What! When. I'll be right there.(hangs up)All off you pay what you have to and leave.
Reportres: Why.
Barman: My son just now svolovd a pen.(taking and counting the money)
Dolina: Why make such a fuss about a pen. Here have mine.(smileing)

[KJ Fellie]

two jokes...
First, an old one:
Phone rings.
Spike Jones (answers): Hello? You don't say. You don't say! You don't say! (hangs up)
Man: Who was it?
Spike Jones: He didn't say.

Redneck 911
Two rednecks have a hunting accident. One calls 911.
Operator: "What's your emergency?"
Redneck: "Bubba's dead!"
Operator: "Stay calm. First, make sure he's actually dead."
A gunshot is heard.
Redneck: "Okay, now what?"

[teozo]

Old ones are the best ones.

[Fritz]

This thread

[Svix]

This thread

Do we really have to be so hostile!



Pandemonium! A ha ha.