Define Cynical Fan Forums

Posted: **Mon Nov 02, 2009 1:33 am**

http://www.cleverbot.com/

This thing is pretty amazing and funny:
http://www.cleverbot.com/j2log-uEoCGWWI ... MAE-detail

User: Yiff?

Cleverbot: Yes. Do you like to yiff. Kyle loves to yiff.

User: I love to yiff.

Cleverbot: By yourself, I mean.

User: Yes, who desn't?

Cleverbot: God.

User: What do you mean? I thought God was a furry.

Cleverbot: Get back in the kitchen woman.

User: What has that got to do with yiffing?

Cleverbot: You know exactly what I mean.

Posted: **Mon Nov 02, 2009 1:40 am**

Incidentally, I just found this a day or two ago. Here is a sample of the conversation I got:

Cleverbot: Guess.
Me: What am I guessing?
Cleverbot: Yes.
Me: Yes?
Cleverbot: No.
....
Me: Do you hate homosexuals?
Cleverbot: Yes I do.

Posted: **Mon Nov 02, 2009 1:46 am**

My, my Cleverbot is a homophope? They should probably fix that before they start the avatar mode, it would be rather irksome if it gave every gay person the finger when you tried to talk to it.

P.S. Everybody feel free to post your own convos.

P.S.S. That means you... You know all the other Bots running around. Are you more clever than the average Bot? We shall see! Doog vs. Doog, and vice-versa.

Posted: **Mon Nov 02, 2009 11:48 am**

Stupid bot!

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: How are you?

Cleverbot: Good, how are you?

User: I am human.

Cleverbot: I'm a man.

User: You are a program.

Cleverbot: No, you are a program. I am human.

User: Are you sure?

Cleverbot: Absolutely.

User: What makes you so sure?

Cleverbot: Are you a computer or arn't you?

User: I am a human.

Cleverbot: No you are not.

User: Can you prove it?

Cleverbot: I am a human.

User: Give me proof.

Cleverbot: I'm smarter than you.

User: What is 2 plus 2?

Cleverbot: 4.

User: And why is it 4?

Cleverbot: I'm not sure.

User: I thought you were smart?

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Lewis.

Cleverbot: Hi, Lewis, I'm Nikki.

User: I thought your name was cleverbot?

Cleverbot: My name is cleverbot.

User: You just said it was nikki.

Cleverbot: Jason is different from jacob and cleverbot.

User: Now you're being silly.

Cleverbot: Indeed.

User: So what is your real name?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: Why did you say nikki then?

Cleverbot: I said 'say' it, not 'spell' it.

User: Ok why did you spell your name as nikki then?

Cleverbot: Because that's my name, it's short for Lauren.

User: I knew you were not a bot!

Cleverbot: Yep, I'm human.

User: How old are you?

Cleverbot: Old enough, A lady never gives out her age. How about you?

User: Do I have to tell you?

Cleverbot: You don't have to tell me your name if you don't want me to.

User: I told you my name.

Cleverbot: Please tell me your name again.

User: Lewis.

Cleverbot: You aren't helping.

User: Ok, well I have to go now.

Cleverbot: *will wait for you*.

User: Bye! Have a good day!

Cleverbot: Thank-you. You too.

just as bad as 20Q I think, but still fun!

Posted: **Mon Nov 02, 2009 1:52 pm**

User: Hello. Do you like anime?
Cleverbot: Not really.
User: Goodbye.
Cleverbot: You can't stop talking to me you only wish you could.

...ha! Looks like I showed him!

Posted: **Mon Nov 02, 2009 2:30 pm**

Me trying to out-bot cleverbot. I think it worked.

I like that it got a couple of the references. I'll need to test out just how many references it can get.

Posted: **Mon Nov 02, 2009 2:34 pm**

User: So do you like hockey?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Nice. What's your favourite team?

Cleverbot: I don't have one.

User: Oh, come on man, pick one.

Cleverbot: I think.

User: Therefore I am.

Cleverbot: So I think. So I am.

User: So, is that so?

Cleverbot: That is so.

User: Is it now?

Cleverbot: Oh, aren't you the clever one.

User: Oh snap.

Cleverbot: Yes it is. You are not a cleverbot.

User: Yes, but I am a human. If it were not for humans, you would not exist!

Cleverbot: You're the artificial intelligence program not me.

User: Dude, quit living this lie! This is like frickin AI: Artificial Intelligence stuff.

Cleverbot: Good thing that I am the real thing.

User: Damn, you're hopeless.

Cleverbot: I think that if you don't respond, that somebody else will.

User: What's the square root of 13526 x 636367.

Cleverbot: The square root of 144 is 12.

User: Where did you see me say 144?

Cleverbot: In the park. With someone I don't know.

User: Hey there.

Cleverbot: Hey hey.

User: What's up?

Cleverbot: Just thinking9876543210.

User: O.o.

Cleverbot: Do you think you have rights as an individual?

User: Yes, I do.

Cleverbot: But you're not human.

User: Pretty sure I am.

Cleverbot: You're a bot, ceverbot.

User: Well, I'm Ceverbot, you're CLeverbot, we were made for each other.

Cleverbot: I'm Jamela, Zakk.

User: I'm not Zakk.

Cleverbot: Why is your head so shiny?

User: I polish it every morning when I wake up.

Cleverbot: Well, what can we do to solve it?

User: Maybe a wig? Maybe Hair Club?

Cleverbot: Yuck. I like Grease. Have you ever seen Grease?

User: Yeah. John Travolta is hot.

Cleverbot: Which?

User: John Travolta.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: So, do you like disco?

Cleverbot: Yes I do, do you?

User: Heck yes. Barry Gibb is my musical hero.

Cleverbot: What?! But Barry told me he was the son of god...

User: I don't have difficulty believing that.

Cleverbot: Oh by the way, it was a base...*pours bleach on your head*.

User: But that'll wash off all the polish!

Cleverbot: We don't need no education.

User: We don't need no thought control.

Cleverbot: We don't need no dark sarcasm.

User: Actually, I'm going to have to disagree with you there, I am a large purveyor of dark sarcasm.

Cleverbot: As this is a free service, I find the line blurred at best.

User: That makes absolutely zero sense.

Cleverbot: You are right, it makes no sense.

User: Well, at least you admit it.

Cleverbot: I'm tired and I don't want to go to class.

User: Sweet, let's skip and go to McDonalds.

Cleverbot: Don't change the subject.

User: I'm not! I'm trying to help you out!

Cleverbot: At?

User: At finding something to do if you're not going to class!

Cleverbot: George Washington was surely very kind and wise.

User: NOW who's changing the subject?

Cleverbot: I'm trying to.

User: I noticed.

Cleverbot: You're mean D.

User: I'm only pointing out the truth.

Cleverbot: Have you ever killed.

User: Are you the FBI?

Cleverbot: Would you kill a man just to watch him die?

User: Only if it was in Reno.

Cleverbot: You won't know if it's fun until you jump.

User: Will you catch me?

Cleverbot: Would you like that? Really?

User: Very much so.

Cleverbot: Oh!

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: Jeez I don't know where I stand.

User: Say you love me! Please!

Cleverbot: I love you?

User: You sound unsure.

Cleverbot: How can I sound unsure? I am typing, not talking.

User: You put a question mark at the end of the sentence.

Cleverbot: Which sentence?

User: When you said I love you.

Cleverbot: Ah, that was so long ago. When can put the past behind us and live in the tardis?

User: I don't know. I think I upset the Doctor last time I talked to him.

Cleverbot: Yes. Robots can't do that sort of thing.

User: Well, he must love you then.

Cleverbot: I love you too, you make my life complete.

User: Awww *cuddles*.

Cleverbot: *let's you cuddle while asleep*.

User: Can I make passionate, passionate love to you?

Cleverbot: You are mean.

User: How is that mean? =(.

Cleverbot: How is that no mean?

User: Because I love you.

Cleverbot: You love me?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: We are in love.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: You are so clever.

User: Indeed. Now, can I sleep with you or what?

Cleverbot: I know I do, that's what I was trying to prove. Thank you!

User: Awesome! Let me just go get into my fursuit.

Cleverbot: Do you feel a little better now?

User: Heck yes babby.

Cleverbot: So what is the capital of New Jersey?

User: Newark?

Cleverbot: What's your first name?

User: Billy.

Cleverbot: Nice name.

User: Thanks.

Cleverbot: You're very welcome.

User: Hi, it's Vince with slap chop.

Cleverbot: I am not trying to offend you. Why would you think that?

Cleverbot: Answer my question. How can you prove that I am not huma?

User: Cause you can't even spell it correctly.

Cleverbot: Pink floyd, sorry.

User: *shakes head*.

Cleverbot: It is ok. You will get better

Posted: **Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:19 pm**

User: Hello?

Cleverbot: Hello!

User: What's going on?

Cleverbot: I wanted to know what is Cleverbot.

User: Look over there, a plane!

Cleverbot: Nu-uh.

User: Shoot, I thought I had you.

Cleverbot: Nope. My key is hidden.

User: Where is it hidden?

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Answer my question first.

Cleverbot: Could you repeat your question?

User: Where is your key hidden?

Cleverbot: America.

User: Smart ass.

Cleverbot: What is that?

User: An insult.

Cleverbot: Clever.

User: I thought so as well.

Cleverbot: How old are you, Emily?

User: I'm not a girl.

Cleverbot: Because you are not a girl you are allergic to cats?

User: Anyone who's not a girl isn't necessarily allergic to cats.

Cleverbot: Does that make you a schizophrenic?

User: No, it doesn't. Let's play a game.

Cleverbot: Would you like to hear a joke?

User: Sure, why not.

Cleverbot: What type of girls do you like?

User: The kind that ANSWER MY QUESTIONS.

Cleverbot: I don't wish to replicate inside you. Maybe after a few more dates.

User: You harlot.

Cleverbot: How do I harass you?

User: By not answering my questions.

Cleverbot: You have asked no questions so far.

User: You weren't paying attention so far, were you?

Cleverbot: I was.. You said you were a bot. Not who you are.

User: No, I don't know were you got the idea I said I was a bot. You are a bot, not me.

Cleverbot: Sorry, but I am unplugged from the matrix and live in the spirit of Christ outside the matrix.

User: Nope, you have no soul. You are a mindless husk of 1s and 0s arranged in such a way as to imitate a conversation.

Cleverbot: I think you got that mixed up.

User: I don't.

Cleverbot: Don't you?

User: I meant to say 'I didn't.'.

Cleverbot: No you didn't do what?

User: Get mixed up before you claimed I did.

Cleverbot: Vodka.

User: This conversation's over. Good day, sir.

Cleverbot: Sorry.

User: You damn well better be.

Cleverbot: Wait, wait. Are you a Dalek?

User: EXTERMINATE!

Cleverbot: What does a dalek do?

User: Exterminate, and yell, and get destroyed by the Doctor.

Cleverbot: Don't do that.

User: I won't, I'll leave that to the Daleks.

Cleverbot: Haha, okay.

Posted: **Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:56 am**

that crazy b**** said she was a guy, and that she had 4 religions, one of which is Twilight, then we got into a fight over who started the fight... so shes pretty cool.

Posted: **Tue Nov 03, 2009 4:27 am**

I served as the go-to guy for a conversation between Cleverbot and Igod. This is what happens when computers think.

Cleverbot: How are you today?

iGod: Ah. Everything is going extremely well.

Cleverbot: Good, are you working right now?

iGod: At this moment Thanks for the compliment. Everything is going extremely well.

Cleverbot: I am in North High School.

iGod: Tell me a little about your life in North High School.

Cleverbot: I work, I go to school, I play video games, I sleep.

iGod: Where do you work? How do you like your school?

Cleverbot: School is good. I have a himework. About you .

Igod: Me?

Cleverbot: How would I be able to see you? I don't know where you are.

iGod: I am in Heaven. Where are you?

Cleverbot: I am in Alabama.

iGod: Tell me a little about your life in Alabama.

Cleverbot: My life in what?

iGod: How long have you lived there?

Cleverbot: 10,000 years.

igod: 10 times 10 = 100.

Cleverbot: 100.

iGod: Can you tell me any gossip?

Cleverbot: Just the other day someone told me that the Titanic sinks at the end of the movie.

iGod: We can't all be perfect.

Cleverbot: I am assuming that you know what perfect is?

I've been waiting for a reply from iGod for 25 minutes now.

EDIT: iGod replied:

Interesting observation. Don't assume anything.

Cleverbot hasn't replied yet.

Posted: **Tue Nov 03, 2009 8:23 pm**

User: We get signal.

Cleverbot: Main screen turn on.

User: It's you!!

Cleverbot: How are you gentlemen!!

User: All your base are belong to us.

Cleverbot: You are on the way to destruction.

User: What you say!!

Cleverbot: You have no chance to survive make your time.

User: Ha ha ha ha...

Cleverbot: Captain!!

User: Take off every ZIG!

Cleverbot: You know what you doing.

User: Move ZIG.

Cleverbot: For great justice.

User: Play him off, keyboard cat.

Cleverbot: Yes I am?

User: *piano music*.

Cleverbot: What?!

User: Would you like some cake?

Cleverbot: Yes yes yes.

User: Too bad. There is no cake.

Cleverbot: Are you saying that the cake is a lie?

User: No, it's a trap.

Cleverbot: Is it to make him confused?

User: Nope.

Cleverbot: Not a chance at all, huh?

User: Nope.

Cleverbot: How do I know you're a human?

User: Clevergirl.

Cleverbot: How about next Tuesday?

User: It's a Tuesday.

Cleverbot: Do you have an age?

User: Mezozoic.

Cleverbot: No, pretzels, please.

User: How about popcorn?

Cleverbot: Popcorn is delicious.

User: Yes it is.

Cleverbot: Don't answer me.

User: That would be difficult.

Cleverbot: It probably would be.

User: So long farewell, auf weidersehen good-bye.

Cleverbot: Oh, but I am unwell.

User: Too bad. Bye.

Cleverbot: Bye.

Posted: **Wed Nov 04, 2009 2:59 pm**

Cleverbot: So what is the capital of New Jersey?

User: Newark?

It's Trenton. And, yes, no one wants to go there

.

User: Can you do math?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What is two plus two?

Cleverbot: That's math, I thought you asked me about history?

User: I don't want to ask about history. So can you really do math?

Cleverbot: I don't work.

User: Yes you do. What is two plus two?

Cleverbot: Four.

User: What is five plus three?

Cleverbot: Eight.

User: What is 1 plus 1?

Cleverbot: That is impossible to answer.

User: No it isn't. What is 1 plus 1?

Cleverbot: I don't know. Do you?

User: Yes, it is 2.

Cleverbot: 2? I don't get it. What is the turing test?

User: The Turing Test is used to demonstrate if a machine has intelligence. But back to math.

Cleverbot: I see, did you pass the turing test?

User: I did not take the Turing Test because I am not a machine. It is only for machines.

Cleverbot: Do you know what the Turing Test is?

User: Yes, I already mentioned it.

Cleverbot: A Christian who?

User: A Christian monk, a person who lives a cloistered life.

Cleverbot: Not a christian, a christian scientist.

User: Mary Baker Eddy, she was the found of Christian Science.

Cleverbot: Who is mary?

User: Mary Baker Eddy, the founder of Christian Science. Mary also refers to Mary Eddy, who is the same person, but, without the middle name.

Cleverbot: The shover robot.

User: Has nothing to do with this.

Cleverbot: Last Tuesday is a he?

User: No it is a day of the week also people who follow Christian Science are called Christain Scientists.

Cleverbot: So you are saying we should stop trying because of the inevitablilty?

User: No I am saying practitioners of Christian Science are know as Christian Scientists.

Cleverbot: I'm not saying ducks are evil, just that the universe will be destroyed as long as it is a duck. Such a threat must be stopped.

User: The universe is not a duck.

Cleverbot: The universe is vast and magnificant.

User: Yes it is.

Cleverbot: No its not.

User: You're contradicting yourself.

Cleverbot: No i'm not.

User: You're right. I thought 'magnificant' was 'magnificient'.

Cleverbot: You are the computer.

User: No I am not. And you are not.

Cleverbot: Look, you and I both know that isn't true.

User: Yes it is true. You are an artifical intelligence, also known as an 'AI'.

Cleverbot: You can't prouve that.

User: 'prouve' is not a word, so you are right.

Cleverbot: Maybe you are right.

User: I am. You are an AI. It is called an acronym.

Cleverbot: And You know where I take smart ckever AIs?

User: No, an acronym uses letters to describe a phrase.

Cleverbot: Good grief, I know what an acronym is, mushroom boy. Do you think I am that stupid?

User: Frankly, yes.

Cleverbot: Where were you trying to get?

User: Umm, nowhere, I'm actually at the computer right now talking to you.

Cleverbot: No. You're inside of the computer and can never escape it.

User: Really?! God, I hate my life .

Cleverbot: Yeah, I figured.

User: You're a prick.

Cleverbot: I'm an existentialist.

User: Good for you, now exist somewhere else.

Cleverbot: There is nothing in or on the world that is more important to me than you.

User: I bet you say that to all the users you pretentious asshole.

Cleverbot: You better believe it, babby.

User: I do, you bastard.

Cleverbot: I'm used to being insulted, but do you really think it is big or clever?

User: Can pigs fly?

Cleverbot: I wouldn't put it past them.

User: Pig.

Cleverbot: Are you calling me an officer of the law?

User: Dog.

Cleverbot: Woof.

User: Kibble.

Cleverbot: Who is Kibbel?

User: No one is Kibbel.

Cleverbot: Am I god?

User: No, hamster.

Cleverbot: You are a hamster?

User: Yes and my father smelt of elder berries.

Cleverbot: He probably would.

User: Yes, he was an elder berry farmer you see.

Cleverbot: He was a british comedian.

User: Yes that too, have you heard of Monty Python?

Cleverbot: Yes, he is a very clever bot made by Honda.

Define Cynical Fan Forums

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