Define Cynical Fan Forums

Those ambiguous messages one often gets from fortune cookies can give pause for reflection.. but more often total confusion and laughter. I invite people to share what they have read in a fortune cookie (or offer some phrases you might expect to find in one) and comment on them. Needless to say, this was inspired by a random fortune cookie message I didn't get to finish right after dinner..<br><br><!--QuoteBegin-Fortune Cookie+--> <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'><b>Quote:</b> (Fortune Cookie)</td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> An imaginary illness is worse than a real one.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table> <!--QuoteEEnd--><br>Wha? <!--emo&:huh:--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... ns/huh.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='huh.gif' /><!--endemo--> <br><br>Well, hopefully this has nothing to do with my next class.. imaginary numbers can be crazy lil critters compared to the real ones.

Oh boy!<br><br>"Delay is the antidote for anger." The best I've seen from a fortune cookie so far..<br>"You'll get more secure and confident in your relationships with co-workers."<br>"You are imbued with extraordinary vitality."<br>"Things are turning for the bright side." <br>"Two important decisions shall be made by you soon."<br><br>And on the backs of two, you can learn "August" and "sesame oil" in Chinese.

Aha fortunately I started to save mine. Also always remember the secret to add "in bed" at the end of your fortune!<br><br>"Rest has a peaceful effect on your physical and emotional health." (in bed)<br>"You have a natural grace and great consideration for others." (in bed)<br>"Ideas are like children; there are none so wonderful as your own." (in bed)<br>"God of fortune is beconing you" (in bed)<br>"Time and patience are called for many surprises await you!" (in bed)<br>"You will always possess a charm and sense of humor that attracts others." (in bed)<br>"Many a false step is made by standing still." (in bed)<br>"Keep on charging the enemy so long as there is life." (in bed)<br>"People find it difficult to resist your persuasive manner." (in bed)<br>"You character can be described as natural and unrestrained" (in bed)<br>"You are in for an enlightening experience." (in bed)

"There is a cake in your future." <!--emo&:blink:--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... /blink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='blink.gif' /><!--endemo-->

<!--QuoteBegin--> <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'><b>Quote:</b> </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> That wasn't chicken...<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table> <!--QuoteEEnd--> <br><br><!--QuoteBegin--> <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'><b>Quote:</b> </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> How should I know?  I'm just a cookie!<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table> <!--QuoteEEnd-->

"made in china"

A friend of mine actually got a distress note in one once, it said something like "help get me out of here." I dunno if they really do have prison inmates type those things up or what, but the friend still has it.

I remember only one of them and it was like "A thornless rose is the sign of your true love."<br>So, that's something to keep in mind.

"In my last life i was a bran muffin."<br>"Nasa will turn you into a cyborg."<br>"This message will self destruct in 10 seconds."<br>"I am a fortune cookie thinking on how to be a God."<br><br>None are true but i'd love to see the third in real life.

"Your request for no MSG was ignored."<br><br>Somebody told me they actually got one that said that. True or not, it's still funny.<br>

Here are some ones I know are fake (the last ones I think are, but I don't know. I know about these ones cause I just made them up.)<br><br><!--QuoteBegin--> <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'><b>Quote:</b> </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Cheatachu72: Hi! <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... s/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif' /><!--endemo--><!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table> <!--QuoteEEnd--> <br><!--QuoteBegin--> <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'><b>Quote:</b> </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> seven days...<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table> <!--QuoteEEnd--> <br><!--QuoteBegin--> <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'><b>Quote:</b> </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> up up down down left right left right B A<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table> <!--QuoteEEnd--> <br><!--QuoteBegin--> <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'><b>Quote:</b> </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> Iyestorm was here<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table> <!--QuoteEEnd--> <br><!--QuoteBegin--> <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'><b>Quote:</b> </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> This cookie sponsered by _______<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table> <!--QuoteEEnd--> <br><!--QuoteBegin--> <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'><b>Quote:</b> </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> If you can read this, your vision is normal<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table> <!--QuoteEEnd--> <br><!--QuoteBegin--> <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'><b>Quote:</b> </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> you left your car lights on.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table> <!--QuoteEEnd--> <br><!--QuoteBegin--> <table border='0' align='center' width='95%' ><tr><td class='quotetop'><b>Quote:</b> </td></tr><tr><td class='quotebody'> The Matrix has you...<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table> <!--QuoteEEnd--> <br>