Coments on Bullying

[teozo]

The last few strips have encouraged the people on this forum to speak about how they were betten by bllyes and the injustice that the bullyes wearen't punished at all.
Make a reply about your oppinion on this matter or how you managed to stop the bully from beating you.

I gona tell how I managed to stop the bully from beating me.
It was in spring few years ago.
I was waiting with the others the gym teacher.
When it came with dealing with bullyes I out run them and if they catch me
I squese out of they're hands couse I was and still am weary thin,
but I dont make it eveary time and they beat me up for running from them.
But that day it wasn't going to be like that.
I was leaning at the wall when Zvonimir(bully) came,
I ignored him til he pushed me (I fell) and said "come run away whimp".
I tried to get up but he just kept pushing me down and said "run you whimp".
The entrance to the gym is in a small room with three ways, The door whitch
is always closed that leads to the jard, the stairs to the upper flor and the door to the hall.
I couldn't just run couse his friends blocked the ways I could escape.
The options I had were to try to run and get beaten or (what I didn't want to do) make a stand.
I tought in my self "I can run and forever live in fear or make a stand and be liberated from it".
So I said "No", he asked "what did you say?!", I picked my self up and said lauder "NO YOU IDIOT!"
I didn't even have a chance to think when the gave his first punch, right at the lip.
And I fell on the cold stone flor, he gave his best shot and I gave a f**k on it, I feared him no more.
I puled myselfe up at the same position where he punched me and said "You no longer scare me."
He threw his next punch I fell again, the fear was going and the anger growing from the years of torment.
I felt my nose bleading and ignored it stood up and saw that the others where looking, and I just stood and awaited the punch.
When his fist was moving to hit me the others jeld "leave him alone, what has he dont to you." but that didn't stop him from hitting me in the cheek.
I was so angry on myself "why didn't I fight back? Why did I run?", And I heard others stil on my side.
Then I saw Zvinimir, I saw him swet, his handes shuk,
and he had a patrafied look.
I was surprised he was afraid, afraid of me, afraid of them, he was no longer the supirior.
He was going at me at that moment I gave the strongest punch in my life, it was a direct hit right betveane the chin and the cheek.
A moment later I noticed the gym teacher, she took Zvonimir and me to see the princepal.
The principel took us one at a time, Zvonimir first, I still dont know what he told her but it lasted a short while.
He exited and I enterd, she wanted to know what happaned and I told her evearything even what I felt at that moment.
I and Zvonimir waited in the hall of the office and awaited a decesion, it took abot 10 minits.
When the principel came out she said that I should go and have a talk with the school psyhiatrist.
And Zvonimir went to detention for melasting and violant behaviour and a warning for bouth of us (for him worse then me).
After the psyhiatrist I still had a split lip, a bleading nose and a giant blue spot on the cheek, but some how I went home satisfied and happy
couse I know I did something i had to do

[Hanging Tree]

Yeah, pretty much standing up to the bully and getting them in trouble is the best way to stop them. Its not fun if you don't get a reaction you can laugh about.

[teozo]

I didnt laugh any how, I didn't know theire will be a reaction, and I gave him a punch

[Hanging Tree]

I meant they probably thought it was funny that you laughed. When you fought back and the bully got in trouble then it wasn't funny for them.

[Nyte]

You did the right thing about it, man, way to go for standing up to him and even better for taking shots like that and getting back up. I've had a few problems in the past with bullying myself, though I don't think I handled the three matters as well as I should have like you did. I generally try ot ignore it, but once they lay their hands on me I figure anything goes by then.

I didn't end up in a lot of trouble for what I did, but I can't say I'm proud for it. Each time, however, I got off fairly easy or with a warning becuas I'd only really fight back when I had little choice but to, and it'd usually be in defence; I wouldn't go looking for a fight.

[Holley]

Teozo - yup, the right approach.

For years I tried to get help with bullying and got told "ignore them and they'll go away" etc, tried ignoring, tried running, tried talking my way out of it, all gave the same result - no difference. After I went mad and hit one bully repeatedly until he had to be taken to hospital (15 stitches, blood everywhere) no more problems ... wish I'd done that to begin with, could have saved years of misery

[osprey]

If you ignore a bully, all they'll do is be like "hey dude, check it out...easy target". You did do the best thing...make them scared of you. It doesn't matter if you're bigger or not...if they just look for easy targets, then they'll go away if you hurt them. If they make it personal, they will probably bring it to a level where it becomes obvious to authority figures.

[Hanging Tree]

I think it depends on the bully and how you ignore them. If you ignore them by running away, or standing there tearing up but not saying anything you are still giving them a reaction. If you tried joking around with them a little bit or being completly neutral then some bullying would probably stop because its not fun for the bully. Of course that doesn't work if he's about to carve his name into your stomach with a switchblade, but it would probably be fine for name calling.

[Tom Flapwell]

Anyone else here seen How Green Was My Valley? There's a kid who gets bullied by a classmate until his uncles teach him how to fight. Then the teacher, who is openly prejudiced against the kid for his hometown, whips him (it's the old days), but the former bully shows respect to him as it happens.

The next day, the uncles come to school and slap the teacher senseless. And get away with it.

[Lig]

Ah the olden days when if someone didn't have common sense you could slap them for it and not get your ass handed to you in a law suite. Anyway I never liked bullies. I had problems with them all up until the last two years of high school. By then most of them had moved away. The ones that where still I actually made friends with and we developed a respect for one another. They were your typical mechanic type and the like. As for me. I was alright with computers. Ultimately I think things worked out alright in the end. Although parts in the middle were enough to make me cry at times.

[Kazapsky]

Having had a bulls-eye on me from Day 1 to graduation, for reasons I still can't grasp, I've had ample opportunity to test out the various defenses that tend to be suggested:

Ignoring/walking away, no matter how calmly you pull it off, will discourage only the sort of half-hearted taunting that wouldn't have any effect anyhow.

Diplomacy is out. Any attempt to appease or enter into rational discussion will succeed only in providing your tormentors with more ammo.

Reporting it to whomever's in charge, be it a teacher, principal or whatever, is a lot like playing a slot machine. Sometimes it pays off, usually it doesn't. The flaw in this analogy is that "ratting" is also known to make things worse.

Joking back can be workable if you can consistantly supply comeback lines, and if the harrassment isn't personal. Don't count on it to be reliable if you're not Who's Line is it Anyway? caliber.

Physical retaliation was the most effective tactic of the lot; it usually bought me at least the rest of the day. If the bullying is physical in nature to begin with, this is your only chance to escape short of a faculty member or close friend being right there to break things up. If they weren't looking to pick a fight, they probably don't consider it worth a fist in the mouth, or whatever part of their body is most convenient.

Not palatable for backers of the "conflict resolution" philosophy, but it's the cold, honest truth. Violence is never a good option, but there are plenty of situations where it's the only option.