Fanfiction...

[Kles]

<a href='http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2228092/1/' target='_blank'>Tale of the Bandage: Koops' Story.</a> Honest feedback please... don't be scared to say something; if parts suck, then tell me. Don't laugh.

[Tavis]

It's a pretty good start. I guess I'd have to know Paper Mario to know the significance of some stuff (obviously the names are a big part of it all, so I can't be one to nit-pick.) Now, I have no clue where you are going with this, and I'm not sure I see a plot developing in it, but obviously there's not much time or spece to develop one from a clip that short. You apparently are trying to build into something there, and it would feel incomplete until you get there, but hey, there's potential.

[Kles]

Yes, the majority of stories are incomplete until you get there. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://definecynical.mancubus.net/forum ... iggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--><br><br>I must admit that the first three chapters are a bit stale. They should pick up around 4 and 5 when the actual adventure starts.<br><br>Keep in mind that this is the first thing I have ever written outside of school projects.