Weird News

[VisibilityMissing]

New and different adventures in contempt of court . . .

Sep 4, 7:25 AM EDT

Juror Allegedly Steals 'Jury Duty' Paper

HOWELL, Mich. (AP) -- As far as the judge was concerned, the paper he ordered Brandon Dickens to write as punishment for ducking jury duty was plagiarized.

To the 20-year-old Dickens, the report merely contained "quoted" material.

Not surprisingly, Livingston County Circuit Judge David Reader had the last word.

"Really, what I was looking for, Mr. Dickens, was your own work," Reader said last week in upping Dickens' punishment from three days in the courthouse to four days - and ordering him to rewrite the paper.

Dickens, formerly of Tyrone Township, originally landed in Reader's doghouse in June, when he failed to return to jury duty after a lunch break. The judge ordered him to spend three days observing a civil trial and to write a five-page paper on the history of jury service.

When Dickens turned in the paper Aug. 30, a court employee recognized phrases from something else the employee had read previously. An Internet search showed many of the phrases came word for word from "Trials and Tribulations," a story by Seattle writer Matthew Baldwin that appeared in an online magazine, The Morning News.

Dickens denied plagiarizing Baldwin's work, saying: "I quoted it. I quoted a Seattle man's experience." He also said Reader wasn't clear about what he sought in the writing assignment, and he could find little information on the history of jury service.

Reader could have had Dickens jailed for up to 30 days, but instead ordered him to spend a fourth day in court and to come up with another five-page paper on the topic.

Dickens told the Livingston County Daily Press & Argus of Howell that he had moved to the Flint area about seven months before he was called for jury duty in Livingston County. But he failed to change the address on his driver's license, which is how prospective jurors are located.

At least one line of Dickens' paper was his own, however: "When picked you show up and serve your country."

---

On the Net:

The Morning News: http://www.themorningnews.org/

[Zaaphod]

Love is in the air.

Love-smitten man tries to kidnap mannequin

Tokyo, Japan
04 September 2006 12:49
Mail & Guardian Online, http://www.mg.co.za

A Japanese man was arrested after trying to steal a mannequin from a display window, claiming it was love at first sight, news reports said on Monday.

Shoji Shibuzaki (33) was arrested at 3am in the southern city of Maebara for allegedly trying to remove the mannequin from display at a community centre, a police official was quoted as saying in a report in the Asahi Shimbum newspaper.

"It was love at first sight," he reportedly told police after his arrest last week.

The unemployed man said he had spotted the mannequin, which was clad in a kimono, a few days earlier when passing and crafted his plan to haul it home.

But he told police he gave up the plan after he came closer and became disillusioned with the mannequin's supposed beauty.

"The mannequin looked eerie from close-up, and she seemed too heavy to carry her home," he was quoted as saying.

[VisibilityMissing]

By the squirrel-related accident rule, this must go here . . .

(You get the feeling I just make these rules up as I go? )

Squirrel in spokes floors cycling opera singer

Tue Sep 5, 10:22 AM ET

HELSINKI (Reuters) - A squirrel scampered into the bicycle wheel of an unlucky Finnish opera singer, causing him to fall, knock himself out and break his nose just ahead of the world premiere of a new opera.

Esa Ruuttunen was pedalling his way to the Helsinki Opera House last month when the squirrel ran into his spokes.

The singer ended up concussed and in a local hospital, rather than at his rehearsals for the Finnish opera Kaarmeen hetki (Hour of the Serpent), which opens on September 15.

"He is not yet singing in rehearsals, but thinks he will be able to perform at the world premiere," Finnish National Opera spokeswoman Heidi Almi told Reuters.

The squirrel died in the accident.

[VisibilityMissing]

Well, this inspires confidence . . .

Where jalopies are left to die

It's California Boulevard of Broken Dreams, with clunkers sitting forsaken and forlorn in the Criminal Courts parking garage

September 6, 2006

In the annals of great mysteries such as Bigfoot and Fox's cancellation of "Arrested Development," the "Forgotten Cars of California Boulevard" will probably never be more than a footnote.

Yet for years, a parking garage at the Cook County Criminal Courts Building has inexplicably hosted these half-dozen or so vehicles that sit like the statues of Easter Island, vexing the curious. To the concerned motorist--or even frustrated ones hunting the elusive parking spot--the abandoned automobiles prompt questions like: How long must a car remain in one spot before nature transforms radials into dust?

Is Pompeii Powder now a factory color?

Using records databases, the Tribune was able to determine at least six of the seven forgotten cars were the personal vehicles of employees of the state's attorney's office, the sheriff's office and the public defender's office. Records indicate the seventh vehicle belongs to a woman who denied ownership and who is not believed to be employed at the Criminal Courts Building, 2650 S. California Ave.

No matter who owns them, the vehicles whisper and shout their own stories, hinting of the lives they lived before they were forgotten.

Take a look on Ramp No. 2, for example. There sits a 1991 Chevrolet Blazer that, except for its blanket of dust and missing license plates, appears showroom-clean inside, preserved like it was the day it was last locked. A drawer of change sits ajar as if a toll is about to be paid.

Check out the 1999 Ford Explorer of Level 2, which, despite having a breezy interior because of a smashed window, emits a pungent perfume of urine. One could assume that the Illinois lottery Pick 3 ticket from Oct. 10, 2004, on the floorboard was no winner.

"It wasn't," said the county investigator who owns the vehicle and was willing to comment as long as his name would not be used.

An SUV called `sweetheart'

He said that he'd been meaning to have his crippled Explorer towed since, well since ... he's not too sure what year it was. All he knows is that he did at one time love that SUV, no matter how off-and-on their relationship.

"I used to call her `sweetheart' in the mornings because sometimes she didn't want to crank," he said with a bittersweet chuckle. "Now I drive past every day."

A county attorney who owns another of the vehicles had a similar tale, recalling that one day several months ago his car would not start. Since then, the idled vehicle's backseat has occasionally hosted a rat, which tore up the interior. This finally confirmed in the attorney's mind that his car needed to be towed soon--just like the rest.

And what a mess the rest ...

Stroll by Level 4, Section A, and there you find a 1999 Ford Taurus with paperwork from the public defender's office clearly visible through a window. The car's lone license plate expired more than three years ago.

Car crowned with trash

Then there is the aesthetic nadir of the lot: a 1993 Pontiac Bonneville, which, perhaps because of its location on the garage's ground floor, seems to have acquired not only the most dirt, but the most trash atop its hood and trunk. Most recently, orange peels and fast-food drink cups decorated it like a pitiful Christmas tree.

Sally Daly, spokeswoman for the sheriff's office, said Friday that even though it was the first the sheriff's press office had learned of the vehicles' existence, the Bonneville and the other cars' days were numbered. "We will be removing the abandoned vehicles in the garage," she said.

Removing the vehicles will create badly needed parking spaces.

And it will make a mystery disappear.

----------

jageorge@tribune.com

Copyright ? 2006, Chicago Tribune

[Zaaphod]

No goats means go faster!

Speeding driver blames lack of goats

Wed Sep 6, 12:17 PM ET

A Swiss driver caught speeding in Canada explained that he had been taking advantage of the ability to drive fast without hitting a goat, police said on Wednesday.

The driver was caught traveling 161 km/hr (100 mph) in a 100 km/hr zone in eastern Ontario Sunday.

"A motorist from Switzerland, used to driving around hills and mountains, takes advantage of the ability to go faster without risking hitting a goat," read the traffic officer's notes of the incident.

Local police said it was the first time they had ever heard of such an excuse.

"I've never been to Switzerland but obviously they must have a problem with that there," said police spokesman Joel Doiron, adding that in his 20 years of service he had never found a goat on the highways of eastern Ontario.

The Swiss driver's imaginative excuse did him little good. Police issued him a C$360 ($330) speeding ticket.

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Don't EVER mess with a nurse.

Police: Nurse, 51, kills intruder with bare hands

PORTLAND, Oregon (AP) -- A nurse returning from work discovered an intruder armed with a hammer in her home and strangled him with her bare hands, police said.

Susan Kuhnhausen, 51, ran to a neighbor's house after the confrontation Wednesday night. Police found the body of Edward Dalton Haffey 59, a convicted felon with a long police record.

Police said there was no obvious sign of forced entry at the house when Kuhnhausen, an emergency room nurse at Providence Portland Medical Center, got home from work shortly after 6 p.m.

Under Oregon law people can use reasonable deadly force when defending themselves against an intruder or burglar in their homes. Kuhnhausen was treated and released for minor injuries at Providence.

Haffey, about 5-foot-9 and 180 pounds, had convictions including conspiracy to commit aggravated murder, robbery, drug charges and possession of burglary tools. Neighbors said Kuhnhausen's size -- 5-foot-7 and 260 pounds -- may have given her an advantage.

"Everyone that I've talked to says 'Hurray for Susan,' said neighbor Annie Warnock, who called 911.

"You didn't need to calm her. She's an emergency room nurse. She's used to dealing with crisis."

[Steve the Pocket]

This is really freaky...

Aug. 23, 2006 ? Sanju Bhagat's stomach was once so swollen he looked nine months pregnant and could barely breathe.

Living in the city of Nagpur, India, Bhagat said he'd felt self-conscious his whole life about his big belly. But one night in June 1999, his problem erupted into something much larger than cosmetic worry.

An ambulance rushed the 36-year-old farmer to the hospital. Doctors thought he might have a giant tumor, so they decided to operate and remove the source of the bulge in his belly.

"Basically, the tumor was so big that it was pressing on his diaphragm and that's why he was very breathless," said Dr. Ajay Mehta of Tata Memorial Hospital in Mumbai. "Because of the sheer size of the tumor, it makes it difficult [to operate]. We anticipated a lot of problems."

Mehta said that he can usually spot a tumor just after he begins an operation. But while operating on Bhagat, Mehta saw something he had never encountered. As he cut deeper into Bhagat's stomach, gallons of fluid spilled out ? and then something extraordinary happened.

"To my surprise and horror, I could shake hands with somebody inside," he said. "It was a bit shocking for me."

Removing the Mutated Body

One doctor recalled that day in the operating room.

"He just put his hand inside and he said there are a lot of bones inside," she said. "First, one limb came out, then another limb came out. Then some part of genitalia, then some part of hair, some limbs, jaws, limbs, hair."

Inside Bhagat's stomach was a strange, half-formed creature that had feet and hands that were very developed. Its fingernails were quite long.

"We were horrified. We were confused and amazed," Mehta said.

A Mutated Body Within a Body

At first glance, it may look as if Bhagat had given birth. Actually, Mehta had removed the mutated body of Bhagat's twin brother from his stomach. Bhagat, they discovered, had one of the world's most bizarre medical conditions ? fetus in fetu. It is an extremely rare abnormality that occurs when a fetus gets trapped inside its twin. The trapped fetus can survive as a parasite even past birth by forming an umbilical cordlike structure that leaches its twin's blood supply until it grows so large that it starts to harm the host, at which point doctors usually intervene.

According to Mehta, there are fewer than 90 cases of fetus in fetu recorded in medical literature.

Fetus in fetu happens very early in a twin pregnancy, when one fetus wraps around and envelops the other. The dominant fetus grows, while the fetus that would have been its twin lives on throughout the pregnancy, feeding off its host twin like a kind of parasite. Usually, both twins die before birth from the strain of sharing a placenta.

Sometimes, however, as in Bhagat's case, the host twin survives and is delivered. What makes his case so unusual is that no one suspected Bhagat had a twin inside him for 36 years.

Bhagat said he was very much relieved after his operation. He was not interested in knowing what Mehta did to him or seeing what he had removed from his abdomen.

"He didn't want to see it because it was looking very ghastly," Mehta said.

Avoiding the Gory Details

There was no placenta inside Bhagat ? the enveloped parasitic twin had connected directly to Bhagat's blood supply. Right after the surgery, Bhagat's pain and inability to breathe disappeared and he recovered immediately.

The case may have been a medical miracle to doctors, but to Bhagat his condition had been a source of shame and misery. All his life, people in the village where he lived had mercilessly teased him and told him he looked pregnant. Ironically, they were right in a way.

Today Bhagat is in good health and leads a normal life, but he still gets teased occasionally.

"They still ridicule him. What they say is, you went for an operation and you had the babby," Mehta said.

First one to make a crack about "mpreg" gets pied.

[Zaaphod]

Good heavens, that's incredible. And freaky.

[VisibilityMissing]

You'll let us pray for you . . . or else!!

Sep 8, 11:20 PM EDT

Trio Accused of Gunpoint Prayer Session

ATHENS, Ala. (AP) -- A woman and two roommates are accused of holding her brother at gunpoint as she prayed for his repentance, even firing a shot into the ceiling to keep his attention.

Randy Doss, 46, of Athens said he fled the house when his captors got distracted and later went to police, who were skeptical at first because his story was so bizarre. But police said it checked out, including the bullet hole in the ceiling.

"We found where they patched the hole with caulk," said Sgt. Trevor Harris.

Police said the sister, Tammie Lee Doss, 43, Donna Leigh Bianca, 37, and Ronald David Richie, 45, who live at the Athens house, were charged with unlawful imprisonment, a misdemeanor. The two women were also charged with menacing, a misdemeanor. All were released on bond.

Harris said Randy Doss went to the house about 7 p.m. on Labor Day and at some point got in an argument with the two women about religion. When they prayed for him, he laughed.

"They both got upset and pointed pistols at him," Harris said. "They wouldn't let him leave. Bianca fired one round in the ceiling in the hallway a few feet from the victim's head."

Harris said the women tried to get Doss to admit things he did as a child.

"She claims the brother wronged her years ago when they were kids and she just got the truth out of him and apparently wanted revenge," said Harris. "He says they would not let him go. The sister says she was just trying to scare her brother."

The three suspects denied they held Doss against his will.

"The door was never locked and he could have walked out that door any time he wanted to," the sister told the News-Courier of Athens. "We never held him against his will."

Harris said Richie did not have a weapon but is accused of blocking the door to keep Doss from fleeing.

Doss said he escaped the house about 1 a.m. Tuesday.

"We don't know if they were just playing games, but it is ridiculous for men and women in their 40s to be playing games like this," Harris said.

[Tai]

http://leenks.com/link50288.htm

A shielding system for tanks? Not quite Han Solo's military-grade particle shields, but still looks interesting....

try to watch the video (have to click download video), my messed up computer had to download the link and play the 6mb file that came from it.

[VisibilityMissing]

But, it was a really good phone!

Sep 14, 4:13 PM EDT

Widow Rented Rotary Phone for 42 Years

CANTON, Ohio (AP) -- A widow rented a rotary dial telephone for 42 years, paying what her family calculates as more than $14,000 for a now outdated phone.

Ester Strogen, 82, of Canton, first leased two black rotary phones - the kind whose round dial is moved manually with your finger - in the 1960s. Back then, the technology was new and owning telephones was unaffordable for most people.

Until two months ago, Strogen was still paying AT&T to use the phones - $29.10 a month. Strogen's granddaughters, Melissa Howell and Barb Gordon, ended the arrangement when they discovered the bills.

"I'm outraged," Gordon said. "It made me so mad. It's ridiculous. If my own grandmother was doing it, how many other people are?"

New Jersey-based Lucent Technologies, a spinoff of AT&T that manages the residential leasing service, said customers were given the choice option to opt out of renting in 1985. The number of customers leasing phones dropped from 40 million nationwide to about 750,000 today, he said.

"We will continue to lease sets as long as there is a demand for them," Skalko said.

Benefits of leasing include free replacements and the option of switching to newer models, he said.

Gordon said she believes the majority of people leasing are elderly and may not realize they are paying thousands of dollars for a telephone.

Skalko said bills are clearly marked, and customers can quit their lease any time by returning their phones.

Strogen says she's not a big fan of her new push-button phone.

"I'd like to have my rotary back," she said. "I like that better."

[DesertFoxCat]

Doctor accused of giving stripper a hand

NEW BRUNSWICK, New Jersey (AP) -- A doctor has pleaded not guilty to stealing a hand from a New Jersey medical school cadaver and giving it to an exotic dancer, authorities said.

Ahmed Rashed, a 2005 graduate of the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey, was charged Monday after voluntarily returning from Los Angeles, California, where he is in a residency program, said his lawyer, Hassen Abdellah.

Rashed, 26, is free on $1,000 bail.

The dancer, Linda Kay, kept the hand in a jar of formaldehyde in her bedroom. Friends have said she called the hand "Freddy."

Police discovered the hand, along with six human skulls, at Kay's home in July after being called there on a report that a roommate was suicidal. The roommate was not home, but Kay was.

Kay, 31, has pleaded not guilty to unlawful disposal of human remains. Her mother has said she believed the skulls were bought from a mail order catalog.

The left hand was taken in May or June 2002, according to an investigation by the school and South Plainfield police, said Middlesex County Assistant Prosecutor Judson Hamlin.

Medical school spokeswoman Anna Farneski said in a statement that the investigation is ongoing.

The charge against Rashed carries up to 10 years in prison.

[Dr. Doog]

Ester Strogen

Did somebody seriously name their daughter Estrogen -_-

[VisibilityMissing]

"I needed help, and I didn't know how to ask for help. And I guess, in my crazy way, that was my way of asking for help. Help with my drug problems, help with my sanity."

Sep 19, 10:46 PM EDT

Calif. PC Thief Takes Court Computers

NOVATO, Calif. (AP) -- A man was convicted of various theft charges, after prosecutors say he stole computers from the courthouse while he was on trial for computer theft.

"It just amazed me that someone could be in the middle of a jury trial for a burglary involving computers and immediately get involved in another burglary at the Civic Center," said sheriff's Sgt. Jerry Niess.

Jon Houston Eipp, 39, of Novato pleaded guilty Monday in three separate cases involving 10 different charges, including burglary, theft, drug possession, attempted auto theft and more.

He could be facing nearly five years in prison when he is sentenced next month.

In an interview Monday night at the county jail, Eipp said he stole the computers "for personal reasons."

"I needed help, and I didn't know how to ask for help," he said. "And I guess, in my crazy way, that was my way of asking for help. Help with my drug problems, help with my sanity."

----------------------------------

Sep 19, 5:35 PM EDT

X-Rated Font Used on Third-Grade Handout

MONROE, N.Y. (AP) -- School officials apologized after an X-rated font was used on a third-grade spelling packet handed out to parents. The font showed male and female stick figures in provocative poses to form the letters of the alphabet.

Officials with the Monroe-Woodbury School District in Orange County apologized last week after parents at Pine Tree Elementary School were given the spelling packet at an open house.

Administrators said the teacher did not use the font intentionally.

Monroe is about 45 miles northwest of New York City.

[VisibilityMissing]

"Hopefully your friend will find his way out of trouble and back to your front yard soon, although we can't help but admire his sense of adventure and love of travel."

Man's lost gnome attends Steelers game

Wed Sep 20, 11:01 PM ET

MORGANTOWN, W.Va. - Allen Snyder's garden gnome is apparently out of jail and now traveling the country. The 14-inch tall red-and-white statue disappeared from Snyder's Morgantown yard in the spring, and Snyder has since received three letters claiming to have been written by "Gnomey."

The latest letter, which Snyder received this week, included photos of the gnome in the company of Steelers fans attending Pittsburgh's football home opener.

"You never took me to any games," the note said. The letter ended: "Have to go now. Boarding a plane. Now, finally, broadening my travels."

An earlier letter included a request for bail money and included what appeared to be booking photos of Gnomey and another of the gnome in the back seat of a police car.

Snyder has no idea who's pulling this prank but said his short list of suspects includes several gag-loving friends.

The plight of his gnome has gotten a lot of attention. Snyder says people are always asking if he's heard from Gnomey.

"I never thought it would go this far," he said.

The story has even caught the attention of officials at Travelocity, which uses a roaming gnome in the online travel agency's advertising.

"While we know that your dear friend, Gnomey, can never be replaced, we're sending the enclosed Roaming Gnome to keep you company in his absence," wrote Michelle Peluso, president and chief executive officer of Travelocity, based in Southlake, Texas. "Hopefully your friend will find his way out of trouble and back to your front yard soon, although we can't help but admire his sense of adventure and love of travel."

___

Information from: The Dominion Post, http://www.dominionpost.com

[Llewthepoet]

Go Tom! University is Florida is awesome because I know people who went there!

Stetson University is kind of cool, I guess, with Bocaj being from there. What's up the name, the Hatters? Bocaj should take it over and rename it the Stetson Evilclaws!

Tom Petty gets key to Gainesville, Fla.
Posted 9/22/2006 1:29 PM ET

GAINESVILLE, Fla. (AP) — Tom Petty has come home. "Every corner you turn is some kind of memory," said the 55-year-old rocker, who grew up in Gainesville and hasn't played here in 13 years.
Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers' concert at the O'Connell Center on the University of Florida campus Thursday night sold out in 10 minutes.

The long delay between Gainesville concerts was the result of the band's summer tour schedule, Petty said. He said the band decided to expand its tour schedule this year.

Guitarist Mike Campbell and keyboardist Benmont Tench were born and raised in and around Gainesville, and bassist Ron Blair lived in the area for many years.

Gainesville Mayor Pegeen Hanrahan presented each band member with a key to the city and proclaimed Sept. 21 as Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers Day.

"It's a lot nicer than the one we got in Chicago," Petty quipped while holding his key.

Although he never attended the University of Florida, Petty was once a member of the grounds crew. While working at the school, he planted a tree that is now called the Tom Petty tree.

Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2002. An exhibit showcasing the band is on display at the rock hall and museum, located in Cleveland.