How do I...?

Popular word games for time well wasted.

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Bocaj Claw
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Postby Bocaj Claw » Tue May 05, 2009 4:40 pm

Leverage. As spoken in a Jack Sparrow accent.

How do I endure a long and probably boring graduation ceremony?
That which does not kill me, cripples me for life.

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Doc Sigma
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Postby Doc Sigma » Tue May 05, 2009 6:33 pm

With two hands and a smile.

How do I tell if it's raining?

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Bocaj Claw
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Postby Bocaj Claw » Tue May 05, 2009 11:57 pm

You need the new Elphaba brand wicked witch umbrella. If it melts, then it is probably raining.

How do I stop the great Zuul from obtaining the seventh Ruby of the Sahara and thus reawaken a long-sleeping race of demonic murder machines?
That which does not kill me, cripples me for life.

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A dude named Vince
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Postby A dude named Vince » Wed May 06, 2009 1:07 am

Get Uwe Boll to make a documentary of it.

How do I learn how to drive a car with a manual transmission?
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Bocaj Claw
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Postby Bocaj Claw » Wed May 06, 2009 1:20 am

Trial and error. Oh god, the amount of trail and error. Mostly error.

How do I get these idiots to shut up when I'm trying to write an essay?
That which does not kill me, cripples me for life.

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Segovia
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Postby Segovia » Sat May 09, 2009 12:06 am

Probably just a hispanic answer. Throw a bottle of Lucas in front of them.

How do I stop the world from turning atheist without being one of those religous jerks that everybody hates?
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nickspoon
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Postby nickspoon » Sat May 09, 2009 12:08 am

Attempting to prevent anybody from turning atheist makes you, by definition, a religious jerk. Or at least a jerk.

How do I forget?
If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. (Revelation 2:5, NIV)
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Segovia
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Postby Segovia » Sat May 09, 2009 12:09 am

That doesn't answer my question!

Anyway bang your head on the desk.

How do I make cheddar into swiss without drilling holes in it?
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Bocaj Claw
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Postby Bocaj Claw » Sat May 09, 2009 2:04 am

Unleash a plague of cheese eating bacteria. Srsly.

How do I mine for pyrite?
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Segovia
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Postby Segovia » Sat May 09, 2009 2:14 am

Bocaj Claw wrote:Unleash a plague of cheese eating bacteria. Srsly.


If I send bacteria then my cheese will be a rind cheese! I wanted swiss not Blue Cheese! A plague on your house!
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Tarukai
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Postby Tarukai » Sat May 09, 2009 2:30 am

actually, swiss cheese has holes because of bacteria during the making. young swiss cheese has no holes, or very small ones.

How I mine for fish?
[00:34:00] <Dermy> I do love to manipulate the standard rules of language for opportunistic effect
[00:34:06] <Dermy> Like a grammar hyena, I am
[00:34:16] <Dermy> Munching on the tasty entrails of tradition

[22:26:20] <MuffinSticks> I'm a chocolate muffin with white ears and a striped black and red tail
[22:26:35] <MuffinSticks> And exactly 6 chips

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Segovia
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Postby Segovia » Sat May 09, 2009 2:36 am

I asked the same question and this is what Bocaj Claw told me.

Bocaj Claw wrote:That's a very good question. Y'see, fish mining is a very complex process with a long history. Archaeologists have found evidence that the Scots were mining for fish all the way back in the Bronze Age. It often occurs that due to geological shift, what was once ocean can find itself smack dab in the middle of terra. I find that its important to have knowledge of mining safety techniques. As fish are often found deep you will need many props to hold up the mine shaft and canaries to detect gas. Make sure your drills are in proper working order and that the dynamite has been kept dry. The actual extraction process is also difficult. You can't just whale on the fish or you may destroy it fragile form. One should cut around the precious fish and gently lever it out of the wall. Finally, a long grueling treatment process to remove excess rock and other material and you have yourself a precious commodity. I hope you all learned something and will join me next time when I address the age old question of how to parachute for clams.



How Do I become funny?
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Bocaj Claw
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Postby Bocaj Claw » Sat May 09, 2009 2:45 am

There are several methods. One method is to cultivate a quick wit, a penchant for pithy sayings and always look for how to turn situations on its head. Freud believed that humor came from a catharsis due to how risque the average joke is what with the violence and sex, people laugh because they're grateful that the situation exposing them to such has ended. As for me, I just whatever pops into my mind and people laugh for some reason. I would suggest watching ridiculous amounts of British comedy. The British are known for their dry humor.

Polonious pontificated that brevity is the soul of wit. How do I stop being so wordy?
That which does not kill me, cripples me for life.

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Tarukai
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Postby Tarukai » Sat May 09, 2009 3:03 am

Simplicity.

How do I get money when I have things to buy and my job doesn't give me enough?
[00:34:00] <Dermy> I do love to manipulate the standard rules of language for opportunistic effect
[00:34:06] <Dermy> Like a grammar hyena, I am
[00:34:16] <Dermy> Munching on the tasty entrails of tradition

[22:26:20] <MuffinSticks> I'm a chocolate muffin with white ears and a striped black and red tail
[22:26:35] <MuffinSticks> And exactly 6 chips

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MuffinSticks
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Postby MuffinSticks » Sat May 09, 2009 4:37 am

Engage in a pyramid scheme.

How do I elect ralph nader
КТО ТРОГАЛ МОЯ ПУШКА

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