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Define Cynical Fan Forums • How do I...? - Page 14
Page 14 of 16

Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 11:32 pm
by MuffinSticks
Slap it around a bit, it'll listen.

How do I keep from starving to death in a house with no food?

Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 1:59 am
by Bocaj Claw
Eat the wallpaper or any children or pets unable to outrun you.

How do I determine which door to take if one door is guarded by someone who only speaks in iambic pentameter and the other door is guarded by someone who has never heard "Stairway to Heaven"?

Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 2:01 am
by Segovia
Just ask them what's behind the door. Pretty simple since they'll both talk in plain English.

How do I let people know that I'm trying to be silly and not retarded without degrading myself.

Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 4:10 am
by MuffinSticks
Irrelevant. You just did.

How do I turn my willy inside out

Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 4:45 am
by Bocaj Claw
You know those penis pumps? They have an overdrive setting.

How do I apologize to your friend William?

Posted: Sun May 03, 2009 3:59 am
by Segovia
First let me make a friend named William and then you can figure out how to apologize to him.

How do I mine for fish?

Posted: Mon May 04, 2009 4:55 pm
by Bocaj Claw
That's a very good question. Y'see, fish mining is a very complex process with a long history. Archaeologists have found evidence that the Scots were mining for fish all the way back in the Bronze Age. It often occurs that due to geological shift, what was once ocean can find itself smack dab in the middle of terra. I find that its important to have knowledge of mining safety techniques. As fish are often found deep you will need many props to hold up the mine shaft and canaries to detect gas. Make sure your drills are in proper working order and that the dynamite has been kept dry. The actual extraction process is also difficult. You can't just whale on the fish or you may destroy it fragile form. One should cut around the precious fish and gently lever it out of the wall. Finally, a long grueling treatment process to remove excess rock and other material and you have yourself a precious commodity. I hope you all learned something and will join me next time when I address the age old question of how to parachute for clams.

How do I mind for fish?

Posted: Mon May 04, 2009 7:48 pm
by A dude named Vince
Quick, think of the ocean!

How do I activate my nightvision?

Posted: Mon May 04, 2009 11:45 pm
by Bocaj Claw
Vitamin A. Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of Vitamin A. Quick, fellate some carrots.

Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 3:00 am
by Segovia
How do I what you do what you did to me?

Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 3:15 am
by Bocaj Claw
Ctrl + Z.

How do I mind control all of DC into doing my bidding?

Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 12:13 pm
by Segovia
Make a propaganda video.
(I was hoping that people would have noticed the reference in the last post)

How do I paste?

Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 1:24 pm
by Doc Sigma
You don't. Kids at the special table need to ask teacher when it's time to paste something.

How do I taste?

Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 3:20 pm
by Bocaj Claw
Like a bag of pork rinds and hot to trot.

How do I stop this Obama poster from looking at me sternly?

Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 3:30 pm
by Dr. Sticks
Make a mean face back at him, and he'll get scared.

How do I get these out of my ?