Define Cynical Fan Forums

Less taste, more filling!

Less taste, more filling! Try brand new Cardboard Whoopie Pies today!

(hey, maybe we can try to add something on to each post, like the three word story, but with ad talk. =) )

Dear conscientious consumer,

I'm new Doc Sigmaâ„¢ brand toilet paper. I am made from 100% pure steel wool. My coefficient of friction is immeasurable. I contain at least 250 barbed hooks per square centimeter. For extra comfort and cleanliness, I am coated with a generous layer of pure capsaicin rated at sixteen million Scoville units. Not only am I festering with crab lice, I'm also infested with a new form of AIDS that spreads simply by looking into the eyes of a carrier. I am your sign of quality and your bottom will thank me for it.

Sincerely,
Doc Sigmaâ„¢ brand toilet paper

Try new superFro Gypsy repellent! Also try our new concentrated solution! Less liquid, same gypsy repelling power!

Get your smile on ^_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________^

Flapwell Air. I try harder.

"We'll need guns. Lots of guns"

Nickspoon. Touch the future.