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ಠ益ಠ BEGIN ERRATA ಠ益ಠ
Dates are when I edited one of many mistakes somewhere. Things inside parentheses show the beginning and end of the edits.
12/6 My original wording of the "Liz calling Fritz incredibly racist" makes Liz look really bad out of context - context added. It was a slip of the tongue, and everyone was laughing for a long while over it (paragraph "Many things transpire...calling people racists").
12/12 added Kristen to dc-assimilated-people and apples 2 apples (Just ctrl-f for Kristen).
12/26 Holy butts how did I forget to transfer my shoutout to my buddies Jason Josh Liz Simon Steven who let me stay in their room (thanks to Jason's suggestion I think) without paying my share of hotel. I feel really bad that it took me a month to catch this omission BUT NO MORE:
STEVEN SIMON LIZ JOSH JASON are all awesome people
and I really appreciate you guys lessening the pain to my already-hurting wallet :3 (THESE PEOPLE ARE AWESOME...stingy person.)
Also adding fur-ther proof of Liz's awesomeness because she left the toilet seat up due to the overwhelming male presence. (Once people started...meeting with MrWolf)
...and moved the errata to the top of the tl;dr to make it easier to figure out what happened. Passed everything though a spell check because apparently Firefox gave up halfway though my tl;dr. Minor readability issues resolved, but ideally no one will ever find them.
7/26/2010 Liz finally sent over her pictures, they're at the end of day 3. Now if I can get Lgnoto to send me his videos...
ಠ益ಠ END ERRATA ಠ益ಠ
MISSION REPORT 537-6:: DC-IL CON DC-CA CON
This is my (Travis the Tai otterfurry) personal account of the events in Chicago from November 19 to November 21 In The Year Of Our Lord Two Thousand And Ten. During this time, the following DCers met up to attend Midwest Fur Fest: VisMis (Nick), Tai (Travis), Muffinsticks (Cole), MrWolf, Liz, Javs (Sashandrew), likeafox (Jason), Fritz, FanaticFox (Brandon), DanTheMan, Astro (NAME OMITTED BY REQUEST), Aeron(Josh), and 5hfifty (Simon) (reverse alphaorder makes me feel better inside). Due to scheduling issues, not everyone met everyone else, but a great majority of us did see each other!
We also meet some DC hopefuls: Flyssa, Lgnoto, Keyla, and ScienceFox and Kristen (all of which have already been semi-assimilated into IRC) as well as Sam, Firr, RelaxingDragon, Procyon and skrimpf who have not responded to our summons.
Also included is DCCAcon which took place a week later, with Tai Minkles JD Astro and 5hfifty.
Soz for the bad picture quality, but better cameraphones that actually work in the dark require data plans (which I don't use), I don't take enough pictures to warrant getting a real camera, and I was too busy having FUN to take good pictures. Hit up one of the other Dccon members for pictures.
I thought it would be cute if I just showed up unannounced at MFF, so I spent the weeks leading up to MFF carefully crafting my words to make it seem like I wasn't going but without outright lying to my internet friends. I did feel obligated to tell Simon because he's sorta the one paying for the room but he kept the secret \o/
Physical pre-con duties began on Sunday prior. Every Monday in Fairfield I pack for five days of San Francisco uni, then come home to Fairfield on Friday and repeat. I would depart for Chicago on Friday so I had to pack a little more, no big deal.
But special care was required as to prepare for airline travel. Certain things I usually carry, including the 20" MEHTUL bar backpack supports (the removal of which would later be revealed as paranoia), flammable chemicals, knife, tools, and so on would be, in the words of a poet, a pantsless disaster at airport security. I felt so naked without my screwdrivers at hand, but sacrifices must be made.
I had planned to bring my viola so everyone could get a shot at getting their fingers all over it. However, while my backpack has been proven to carry 6 days worth of urban survival (including meals, stuff so I could sleep on the floor, and clothing), the airline's carry-on policy meant I couldn't get my backpack as carry-on without cutting it in half (which I did) because it was too big. So the viola had to stay at home T___T
DAWN OF THE FIRST DAY
I arrive at SFO.
Except it's like 4AM so it really looks like this:
Let's start from the beginning.
My alarm went off around 230AM. I was sleepy and went back to sleep. Next thing I knew it as 3AM: ffffffffffffff. Time for a quick shower, a small bowl of generic Honey bunches of oats, and a last-minute tidy-up. At the airport, I tried to check in at the plane's manufacturer's terminal, not the operating airline's terminal (despite the all-caps text on my boarding pass reading "YOU MUST CHECK IN AT DELTA".
As I run the half-mile to the correct terminal, I begin realizing, "Eff, I don't remember what to do at an airport." It's been ten years since I've set foot in a flying machine. How exactly do I get though security? Do I remove my necklace wallet because the chain is MEHTUL? Will the screws in my glasses set off the menacing MEHTUL detector? I figure what the hell, I don't want to risk anything, chuck everything into those plastic bins: coins, keys, hand sanitizer, dollar bills, gardening gloves, peanut butter sandwiches. Let's just say that a good five people behind me got their stuff in order and went ahead of me while I was trying not to give TSA a reason to think I'm a terrorist.
I also realize at this point that I had forgotten to take out one of the MEHTUL support rods. Fun fact: You can waltz past airport security with two-foot sharp MEHTUL rods in your backpack. My deodorant, hand sanitizer, and eyeglasses didn't set off any alarms even though I didn't pack them separately. I had no TSA member lay a hand on me at any point despite what you see in the news, nor did I go though anything more complicated than a MEHTUL detector.
I find the gate easily enough with my mad map skillz, and call Mom to give her peace of mind that her idiot son boarded the plane in one piece (ask me about knocking myself unconscious and getting tag outlawed at my elementary school, burning soup, and nearly pricking my face with a hypodermic needle tainted with protein-destroying enzymes). From there, I poasted a cryptic poast on Facebook using SFO's free wifi, and watched a mist-tornado:
before I boarded the plane. I eat most of my peanut butter sandwiches on the flight with a refreshing canteen of airport water.
4 hours later the plane lands around 12PM local time. I head past security though this walkway...
...and spend about an hour at a cafe just inside the airport folding ninja stars for my upcoming incursion. I figure MFF is the perfect place to act silly and get drunk and admit I'm a huge furry to people who REALLY UNDERSTAND ME (or at least the furry part without having to explain furries). An hour later I head out and try to find the con, donning my disguise.
My plan was to go around like this and give out ninja stars in exchange for letting me take a picture of people with my hat.
At this point I'd like to say I'm an adventurous person who likes finding his way around using only knowledge gleaned in passing and my wits. I landed in Chicago with a few phone numbers and the knowledge I was going to Rosemont, and that's it. Didn't know the hotel of where I was going to much less how to get there. I sorta expected to see an ever increasing density of fursuiters that would lead me to the right place. Well long story short after an hour (and discovering MuscleCarCon and JeweleryCon) I had to ask some hotel's front desk where to go because literally the furst hotel I walked past was the hotel I was supposed to stay at. I guess I thought that it was too easy if the first place I passed was the right hotel, so I kept going and circling around. I saw directions to a lot of "convention centers", so I checked them out because I'm going to a furry convention and convention centers are where conventions are held right?? Anyway, after an hour and making the crossing guards mad (they look like they've never seen jaywalkers before) I find the right place.
And yes, I was wearing my ninja mask the whole time.
2PM. I wander around the hotel and text Simon to be sure they were skulking around. After registering as a furry and paying my $40 furry tax, I wander around a bit to look for people.
I see Astro first but didn't recognize anyone else because I'm terrible with facial recognition (sorry simonfritzjoshprocyon T_T). I also see RelaxingDragon who is really a raccoon and ScienceFox I who is more popufur than Astro (!!!)
I go up to them and speak in my best ninja voice, hat in hiding, cryptically offering ninja stars if they'd allow themselves to be photographed with my hat (which Astro and Simon recognize with knowing looks). Apparently this scares a few people but Fritz and RelaxingDragon are brave enough to take me up on my offer:
I had planned to go around all pseudoninja'd up but VERY QUICKLY I realized there was way too much "hang out with DC" to do that would never get accomplished if I spent effort acting like a lost ninja. Josh realizes it's me a little later, but Fritz is texting someone idly, unimpressed at my flamboyant entrance.
After a brief chat I announce I am a good student and would finish my homework before con festivities kicked in (since one assignment was due at 5PM). I steal one of Simon's furry room keys, wandering though the slightly confusing hallways,
...and let myself into an underwhelming hotel room that was about 25% more expensive than it should have been. Really, no microwave? No fridge?
After making a small fort in a corner of the room and laying my kosher-slaughtered polyester fur blankie on the ground as a bed, I try to get past the equations of capacitor half times and derivatives of formulae and Greek alphabet soup.
I give up after an hour. My physics grade will be sacrificed in favor of furries. I still needed to submit one thing over the interbutts, but the hotel wanted $10 a day and the FedEx downstairs wanted 0.30$ a minute. I choose the lesser of the evils and pay for 3 minutes of internet, showing up in #DC for about 5 seconds on Friday around 1AM PST as an aciduser, just so I could get every minute of time I paid for.
(something happens here in our room but I forget)
Around 4PM Josh and Simon and I leave to take a train to downtown Chicago. We get to the train station and realize we are quarters short of being able to board and no one wants to give us change; our only option is to go back to the hotel and buy $5 packs of gum to get exact fare. We meet VisMis) downtown around 5:30 and he takes us on a 15 mile walk downtown, where we see lots of stuff:
We go eat at the Billy Goat Tavern (from SNL) that advertises "No Pepsi Coke, No fries chips" and are unimpressed (but not off-put) with the quality of the cheeseborgors we order, despite all the news clippings about the place hanging on the walls. But the company was good, and that's all that mattered. Around this time Simon gets oodles of texts from Liz saying they've arrived and were locked out and to send ha;lp.
The four of us get back in the rail station. Vis offers us some rail cards but we feel bad about taking his generous offer so we dig out the last of our change and feed it to the angry ticket machine.
On the ride back we discuss and how best to introduce me to our roommates (JasonLiz and Steven-Lgnato) who still don't know I'm here (plans involved just walking in, my ninja outfit, and barging in throwing gads of ninjastars at everyone). About halfway back to the con, though, an obviously drunk couple board our car and scream very unpleasant things in another language. Thankfully they fell asleep after about fifteen minutes.
Just before we arrive Simon gets word via text that someone in the JasonLizSteven party managed to get their grubby paws on a room key. We debate briefly on the wisdom of leaving downtown Chicago to hang out with...furries.
We leave the rail station and run into Procyon and ScienceFox. Simon is throwing my ninja stars in a field as we walk but I made them as decorations not as throwing implements so they don't fly well. The five of us discuss the police mars on top of a traffic light, state budgets, and furry prostitutes.
Back at the hotel just outside our room (Around 9PM?) I sorta just hang back while Simon and Josh walk in the door, talking with Liz and/or Jason. After a few minutes Josh heralds me with something along the lines of "We got a present for you" which I took as the cue to walk in and there was a slight joyous outbreak at my triumphant entrance. Fritz FINALLY realizes he met me hours earlier and insists that he pantsless knew everything.
At this point all my roommates are together: (in addition to Simon and Josh) Liz (your face was SO RED when I first saw you xD) Jason (every bit as tall as he looks in his pictures) and Steven (sup) breaking out two coolers worth of drinks.
THESE PEOPLE ARE AWESOME. THEY LET ME STAY FREEEE because I am a stingy person.
Here's a picture of the doorknob hanger that Liz drawringed:
Many things transpire, including Liz calling Fritz incredibly racist (which was an innocent word swap, likely because Liz couldn't keep all her excitement pent up; in context Liz meant to say wasted because Fritz was a little tipsy but context is boring when we're calling people racists), Dan leaving for 10 minutes and coming back an hour later with his fursuit (which is 5x more adorable irl and 29672x more adorable when you hear Dan squeaking in it; he wins DC's cutest otter award hands down). We love him so much we put his head on a pike so we can love Dan forever:
People come and go (in various stages of inebriation); Fritz comes in and kills us all twice with an invisible chaingun, we divvy up our room (I manage to get a bed instead of sleep on the floor, while LizsonJace claim my corner; Jason's head becomes a mild table casualty since they slpt under one of the tables). Sometime during this night I think Steven asked me if I was single and gay because that would make whatever we were talking about really awkward; I forget what we were talking about but we became bestest friends during the con. I start feeling a little tired so I lay down for a quick nap in my corner; Liz gets worried and asks "Are we missing someone?" after noticing I disappeared. Dan and I made an otrpact to wear our matching Dobar-chu shirts Saturday (see http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2zdojrt&s=7 )
Steven starts throwing my sizable ninja star stockpile everywhere and we have a sort of William Tell competition with ninjastars and Liz's Rabbit on head. (This is putting it nicely, in reality everyone was chucking inaccurate ninjastars everywhere. I did not expect my stars to become weaponized on such a large scale. Oh, Steven-kun =3 )
Jason and I ran to Steven's car for something and holy butts Jacen has a long fast gait. It was an honor to run beside Jason and Jason's hair (which totally kicks my hair's butts in terms of length but has nothing on my hair's color-changing abilities).
Most importantly, Liz shows me the badge I commissioned for two million neopoints plus my eternal love and I am impressed on how ADORABLE she made me :333. Sadly I couldn't take it because only the lineart was finished, but now it's done and soon I will have this in all it's glory:
Around midnight we go to bed so we can fully enjoy Saturday's upcoming festivities. I curl up in my cream polyester fur blankie next to Simon and dream of nothing.
But before I doze off, I wait for Steven to lay down for a few minutes before chucking a pillow at him. This way, he's groggy and sleepy as he sees GIANT UNIDENTIFIED FLYING POSSIBLY HEAVY OBJECT FLYING TOWARD HIS FACE. He looses a hoarse cry of "OH MY GOD" and we have a laugh at his expense. The butt should not have scattered my pretty ninja stars everywhere with his ninja star war >:(
DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY
I woke around 8-9 AM. Alarms were set for later so I just lay around for an hour. I was tired from the 22 hour day yesterday, so I was in no hurry to get up. During this time Steven got up and shuffled around before leaving to check how his bids at the auctions were doing. Too tired for conversation, I sorta just lay in bed watching him because everyone else was boring to watch (read: passed out and snoring). Unfortunately he saw me watching him and sorta creeped him out, oops :3
Once people started waking up we talked a bit after the morning bladder evacuations. Liz tells us she's leaving the toilet seat up because the boy/girl ratio was overwhelmingly high.
Josh Simon Astro and I go get coffee to start our day. I order what Astro (or maybe Simon) orders, something along the lines of a latte with an espresso shot and it was gross. We go back up and someone (probably Astro) has set up a meeting with MrWolf.
I also meet Keyla who would later turn up in the DC! I say something along the lines of "Otters are clearly the superior species" and Keyla says "hells yeah" (paraphrased) and with that my MrWolf meeting was over.
We go back up to our room. Apparently Steven locked a bunch of stuff (including one room key) in the room safe then promptly lost the combo, requiring Engineering to come in and reset our safe. Oh, Steven-kun =3
We either crashed someone else's room or went to con suite for food after discovering FREE FOOD but I'm not sure. Whenever lunch rolled around I got a turkey sandwich with pepper-jack and ketchup and pickles, a granola bar, dr. pepper, and cinnamon brown sugar pop tart which I leave at the table. No food allowed out of the room; I was too full for pop tart I think we run into Dan here; Too bad he's a night owl and is still wearing his shirt from "yesterday" when I meet him - he's not wearing his ottershirt >:( [but I'd see him later with it on so that's alright.]
I demonstrate my Otterphone's (TM belongs to Jads) underwater capabilities here by playing music with my phone while it's submerged in water. Also the ceiling lights look like a ninja star:
At around 12:30 Josh and I go out to the one panel (out of several planned) we'd see: writing in an e-book age. Somewhat interesting, but we left after about 20 minutes. The only thing I remember is that 75,000 words is about the minimum needed to call something a "novel" and have it paper-published as such.
1PM. Josh and I run into SimonStevenJasonliz who were on their way to (???). We spend a little time playing with the rescue dawggies from this years charity, then watched the furry parade. HOLY CRAP there's a lot of fursuiters at MFF. Official count is 413 in the parade (the parade was not mandatory so there were some other suiters that weren't counted).
I don't want to play favorites - fursuits are pretty grand things regardless of quality - but there are a few special moments in the not-to-be-missed parade. Watch the whole thing!
Vid 1: 0.39 I get attacked! I inadvertently took video of one of JD's friends's friends, kaimitsuki, around a minute in. 1:31 we see a sciencebird :3
Vid 2: MrWolf appears in the first six seconds! Also appearing is the adorrrable Quizno's suit at 9:15, plague doctor (bonus points if you know why I picked this one) at 9:33, and Drama Llama at 9:44. The black snake at 4:51 has a small otterplushie in it's mouth :(
(something happens here but I forget, maybe picking up Liz's badge at operations?)
I pop by Dealer's Den and meet Javs Cole Flyssa for the first time. Cole agrees to a hatting:
Oh and this reminds me I was supposed to be collecting furry souls. I mean photographs. I am nearly out of ninjastars after last night so I could only barter for a few pics:
Jason had to go poodance at this point so we wait and wait. We wait so long that we get the idea of cheering Jason as he comes out, but we end up applauding and cheering for everyone coming out of the mens room. Here's Jason's grand entrance:
We then went and hung around dealers den and artists alley for a few hours. I was expecting less t-shirts (they had a 3 wolf shirt among others) and more tails, they had a giant wall of plushies including otter plushes but they were all sea otters >:( Wasn't expecting chainmaille there, nor a bunch of bronze sculptures, various merch of animals with wings (even animals that don't naturally have wings) and steampunk stuff. The box full scientific binomial animal names intrigued me but it was full of yiff.
Liz finishes the last of the DC badges (that she originally planned) after some lamination woes; we wander the hotel for awhile to search everyone out and to distribute the badges. There was something awesome about seeing all those badges around Liz's neck, knowing that though in a few days they'd be scattered around the world, right now the badges and their owners were in one place having one hell of a time.
4PM. During the show TMLMTBGB (where performers performed 30 randomish skits ranging from the serious to the absurd) I folded another dozen ninja stars to give out. I did look up long enough to notice the tortilla throwers, the people cooing at random objects picked from the crowd (a wolf plush and a package of cigarettes) and the topless, paint covered girl which represented modern art or something. Steven choked on his drink during that last part; Oh, Steven-kun =3
5PM now. We headed to the game room to play apples to apples in the game room. Someone spilled water right before us and I took that seat so no one would have to sit in a soggy seat. I put down my hat and stars and go outside to call Mom to assure her I didn't get axe-murdered in downtown Chicago. When I get back, I think it was Jason that took my soggy seat and he looked at me accusingly O3O I picked a new comfy position between Steven and Simon (the table was designed for about 8 and we had at 10-15 people playing at any given moment making things very crowded. DC made up a big chunk: Me Josh Steven Simon Cole Javs (plus Alyssa and Sam and Kristen) Astro (in and out), and Jason (sorry if I forget anyone) (not really, Liz :@ ) ) and a good time was had until it was dinner where the awesomeness continued.
(Oh and during the game I think it was Steven who discovered that two ninja stars, suitably hooked together, look like a wofl/fox head. Liz drew a face on them, and Steven found a way to reverse the stars to make a derp face :V )
7PM. We had originally planned to go to Fuddruckers for dinner but it was far and Chicago traffic would have been extremely unpleasant to wait in. So we (liz) decided on a closer eye-talian place and I (liz) called ahead to make sure that they could accommodate 15 people. Then we (liz) decided who would ride with whom to get there and dinner was most excellent. Nick made another appearance that almost didn't happen because I had my phone turned down too low to hear T___T It all worked out despite my ineptitude. Astro also dragged a quartet of his buddies (Sciencefox Relaxingdragon skrimpf aaaand someone else ) along. I order feesh like a good otter and discuss biology and computer science with Steven/Josh for most of the dinner.
We get odd stares (probably because LizJason are wearing their tails, but probably mostly from RelaxingDragon's 3 foot raccoon tail) and the "band" playing managed to cause ear-breaking feedback noise no less than four times in 10 minutes. Luckily we left shortly after they started.
9PM-ish. Back at MFF Josh Liz Jason Steven and I and head to Lupus in Tabula (which my fail self translated as wolf INSIDE the table) and I spend a tired evening just trying to figure out the rules (much less strategy). Another game is already in progress so we have to wait. Liz has the sniffles and asks Jason to get her tissue. He dutifully returns and Liz takes awhile to realize Jason has put the tissue on her head:
Just before the next game starts, Fritz shows up for a few minutes. I hug him violently and repeatedly but he is drunk and does not appreciate it.
You can skip this part if you don't want to read about the game.
In-depth game summary:
Teams are werewolves vs werehamster vs seer elder bodyguard and villagers (everyone else)
A group of 9+ (33 in our case) sit in a circle, and try to win. Werewolves/ghoul win by having the number of villagers equal the number of werewolves, villagers win by killing all the werewolves as well as the werehamster. Werehamster wins if the werehamster is still alive when the last werewolf is killed. The problem is that, except for the werewolves knowing each other, no one knows for certain which person is playing which role.
The game operates on a looping cycle:
Moon (which causes effects like giving the youngest person the ability to kill someone or otherwise changing some game rule)
Night (where everyone closes their eyes and taps their leg with a hand to muffle any noise. Moderator/DM tells the werewolves to open their eyes and quietly point to a target; they must agree on a single person. Then they close their eyes and the Seer gets to quietly point to a target; DM gives a thumbs up or down indicating if that person is a werewolf. Then the Bodyguard chooses a target.)
Day (Everyone opens their eyes. The werewolves' target dies, unless the target was protected by the bodyguard. Then everyone has a chance to say something, before people start voting for people. The people with the most votes are put "on deck" - the people on deck make a statement, and another vote is called for the people on deck. The person with the most votes dies)
There are a few more rules and special people but they aren't pertinent to the scope of this ConReport.
How our game progressed:
DM (in a grand, charismatic voice) : NIGHT HAS FALLEN. EVERYBODY CLOSE YOUR EYESSS
WEREWOLVES OPEN YOUR EYESS
WEREWOLVES KILL ME NOW
the DM dies here; he never really is in the game but he dies on day 1 by design so everyone can play at least one turn
WEREWOLVES CLOSE YOUR EYES
SEER OPEN YOUR EYES
SEER CHOOSE SOMEONE TO SPY ON
EVERYONE OPEN YOUR EYES
VILLAGERS DISCUSS AND LYNCH SOMEONE
*pseudo-discussion ensues here since nothing has happened*
VILLAGERS WHO DO YOU WANT DEAD? THIS PERSON? THIS ONE?
the people with the most votes stand up, this round it was WC and Firr
NOMINEES PLEAD YOUR CASE TO THE TOWN
WC: "I am NOT the werewolf, you have to look at the facts. First of all it's the first round so WE DON'T HAVE ANY INFORMATION! I am pleading with you, look at THAT CREATURE, FIRR. HE IS BRIBING YOU WITH glow sticks to vote against me, do you not see what he is trying to do? Never mind that he began to offer bribes before the round started and therefore didn't have a motive but NEVERTHELESS SOMETHING must be up..." (this continues for awhile)
Firr: "Normally I'm a very outspoken person, but right now I only have one thing to say to all of you." *takes 30 glowsticks and bend-activates them all at once*
The vote is overwhelmingly in favor to kill WC. There is exactly one vote to kill Aeron. Glowsticks are passed around and joy ensues.
TOWN GO TO SLEEP
WEREWOLVES OPEN YOUR EYESSSSS
WEREWOLVES CHOOSE SOMEONE TO KILLLL
WEREWOLVES CLOSE YOUR EYES
SEER OPEN YOUR EYES
Seer: "AERON IS A WEREWOLF KILL HIM"
Me: "What no and your friend said he was a werewolf last time you guys must be plotting something how do we know you're the real seer"
Aeron is lynched here. Another person confirms Josh was a werewolf. The other villagers probably don't like me at this point.
lots of turns happen, too many to keep track of.
TOWN GO TO SLEEP
WEREWOLVES OPEN YOUR EYESSSS
We hit a favorable moon, which splits the group into two smaller groups for a night. I was part of Camp Orgy, and as such too preoccupied to remember what the other camp was called. Half the room seems to be werewolf-free because of this night.
Jason dies after three turns or so. We find out later Liz (silently) told the other werewolf to kill him. The werehamster dies shortly afterward, but again we don't find out until the game ends.
TOWN ELDER REVEAL YOURSELF
TOWN ELDER YOU NOW HAVE THE POWER TO KILL ONE PERSON, NOMINATE THREE PEOPLE TO PLEAD THEIR CASE
Myself, a fursuiter named Firr, and a random person are chosen. The random person is pretty boring so his dialogue is omitted.
Elder: "Alright. Make your cases."
Me: "I was just trying to figure out what was up. I still don't understand why they're working together blah blah technical rules logic indifference..."
Firr: *pulls up a chair* "How are ya, town elder? Can I get you a massage? Those are some nice shoes you have on."
Elder: "Look me in the eye an tell me you're not a werewolf."
Firr stares at Elder though an adorable fursuit mask. "I am not a werewolf."
Elder: "Oh ok ^______^ Us felines have to stick together. I won't kill you." *turns to me* "i don't trust people with hats. you die."
A moment of silence as my withered soul cries out in shame.
Magic involving time dilation happens a little later: As Steven is lynched (because no one loved him), Steven scrys Liz's identity, and chooses to have her die so he can resurrect himself.
Bodyguard's protectee due to a "gun backfire moon". Why would a bodyguard ever point their gun at the person they're protecting? But the backfire kills the person who killed me so \o/
Later down the road, Firr reveals he's the last werewolf. He makes a convincing argument about werehamsters about why he should be spared.
A few people are lynched because they're literally asleep. Liz is fading fast as well. It's past midnight at this point.
VILLAGERS CHOOSE SOMEONE TO LYNCH
*doesn't choose the option that would end the game*
VILLAGERS CHOOSE SOMEONE TO LYNCH
*doesn't choose the option that would end the game*
VILLAGERS CHOOSE SOMEONE TO LYNCH
*doesn't choose the option that would end the game*
VILLAGERS CHOOSE SOMEONE TO LYNCH
*doesn't choose the option that would end the game*
Eventually they wise up when there's like eight people out of 30 left and lynch Firr and the survivors win the game.
Quick summary of the game: Out of 33 people, two out of three werewolves end up being DCers (josh and liz; there are only two important players that aren't werewolves). Liz killed Jason, Steven killed Liz, and some OLD person who hates hats killed me. Hater. One suiter also steals the DM's hat, and I figure my hat would look awesome on his other ear:
We get back to our room around 2AM and my slumberbuddy (S-I-M-O-N) is still MIA. Josh shares some delicious amaretto with us (Thanks again Josh it was delicious :3) and I share my MRE (Meal, Ready-to-Eat) with Steven and Liz (everyone else declined I'm not playing favorites). An MRE is basically a portable meal type deal I carry around because when the apocalypse hits I plan on living two days longer than all you fools ;,,;
As the water-activated heater warms our food up we decide to go to Con Suite to pick up Liz's badge from Quaggy and talk a little (I just sorta floated over them I don't know any furries irl). I leave the room barefoot after realizing how awesome it felt to walk around in public barefoot. While going back to our room, I get separated from our little woflpack due to the merciless closing of the elevator and stumble back to the room, abandoned by my roommates, going down flights of cold stairs in bare feet.
We get back (again) around 2:30-3AM or thereabouts; at this point I'm in an extremely unreliable state of mind. I do remember Steven leaving the MRE on a rock or something outside because he was paranoid about the hydrogen gas buildup starting a fire (the MRE advises cracking a window if you use ten or more inside a vehicle).
Keeping the food outside made the food cold, but we share a meal of chili and vegetable crackers and chocolate milkshake from my emergency food supply, which I would sorta regret later (stay tuned). Liz formally reveals she's sick but I share a spoon with her anyway, which I would sorta regret later. We lament not getting mad crunk, but we don't need any ethanol because we hanging out with us is just like being on drugs.
Oh and we find Simon in bed this time allegedly drunk but looking alright to me. He lays in bed for the entire last paragraph and stays awake just long enough to a comment about how my rice stinks.
DAWN OF THE THIRD DAY
I spent most of this day barefoot.
8AMish. Woke up before everyone in my room; Josh rouses just as I go in to take a shower. I took one Friday too but it wasn't as exciting.. Because this time, I make a startling revelation that Liz would make later: the seemingly random patterns in the shower wall look a lot like FURRIES. I saw wallotters and wallfoxes watching me as I bathed, but no people. Honestly the only reason I would feel wierded out by people watching me shower is because it's the general rule to not be naked in front of others, and people breaking the general rule are usually up to something. We all have the same two sets of naughty bits, why does everyone have to be all "aaaaaaa" when it comes to naked bodies? I could have brushed my teeth a lot earlier two nights ago if only people weren't so skittish.
tl;dr people should always be naked because it would solve world hunger or something.
ALSO I lied Friday's shower was interesting too for similar reasons. I had already gotten dressed but forgot to rinse off the shower for the next person. Liz thought I was still taking a shower and asked if I wanted the door closed. I boldly declare I had nothing to hide and barge out and Liz goes omg nooooo and a lol was had. Later says she was more worried about my modesty than the trauma I would induce with my wet naked body. She's such a good friend :3
Anyway, out of the shower (Sunday's shower) everyone's pretty lifeless so I go out (barefoot) and wander around, getting the last few pictures of fursuiters with my hat on in exchange for ninja stars. The last coon gives me a free hug, too :3
I also take this opportunity to check into my flight (and discover free internet far too late) and get a quick bite at con suite.
I head back upstairs around 9AM to find everyone awake, Liz complaining that she's dirrrty after not showering for a few days (furries), and Steven starting another ninja star war. Note the colorful decorations my hat has.
Simon leaves to check out and settle our bill after I repeatedly remove things from the minibar, which unbeknownst to me has pressure sensors underneath each item alerting the hotel when things are removed (in our case not to be consumed, but to make room for our drinks). My bad x3
Before we check out around noonish I teach Liz (and Steven to some degree) how to make ninja stars, which earns me a Lizhug :3 We leave our tip in ten-dollarbill ninjastars, one of which partially unfolded as to give the room service people a fighting chance as to figuring out how to unfold their money. Steven has to figure out how to smuggle his drawings out of the hotel without damaging them or revealing the... contents to the general public. Oh, Steven-kun =3
I put shoes on to help load Steven's car, leaving JoshSimon to watch the furry episode of Magic School Bus. We pass this car along the way:
it also had an official-looking Aperture Laboratories sticker on it. That picture accidentally died though.
We head to Con suite for our last conmeal together.
Also at this time I start feeling not-quite-right; the malaise before the storm. I jokingly tell sniffleLiz she's gotten me sick.
Somehow I end up back in Dealers Den and find ColeDanSashaAlyssa perusing the wares. I snag a pic of Sashasha and Flyssa:
Steven goes and buys a deck of Werewolves cards, Dan gets a bronze otter about the size of a pinky (adorable) and a silver pocket watch, and Cole takes foreverrrr to decide what he wants (he was still deciding when I got bored and left).
We pass some guys playing hackey sack; they warm up to us quickly after I show them my mad skills (read: toss the sack at them with my feet and manage a 3-combo) and they kindly take a picture of us :3 I proceed to pay my customary price of ninja stars for services rendered and we talk for awhile before we find out Steven has accidentally thrown some guy's first hackey sack, one that's seven years old, down an elevator shaft. Oh, Steven-kun =3 I go upstairs with the somewhat-distressed hackeysacker and wait for Engineering to save the day from Steven once again. The hackeysacker was in good enough spirits to hit on a fursuiter on the way down; I leave shortly after that starts.
Dan and I finally define what the verb "to furry" is after years and we are adorable as we otterfurry each other. We take another DC picture together. I pay the somewhat indifferent picture-taker my last ninjastar (the only multi-colored one I made) and then say my nearly tearful goodbyes to most of DC, hugging the stuffing from every last one of them T___T
( see the group DC picture here: http://definecynical.net/viewtopic.php? ... start=1522 )
Just as we're leaving we pass Firr in the hallway! We take a werewolves-only picture
and then DC promptly glomps him into a wall. He had no chance.
Around 3PM I go with Astro Josh Simon skrimpf for deep dish pizza. nom.
Afterward Simon drops Astro back at the con and me at the airport, where I check in to the wrong airline again and panic slightly when I got stopped at security because of something or other in my bag. Oops. They (the X-ray operator called over another guy for a second opinion) definitely spent extra time looking at my bag while glancing over at me, but they see fit to let me go. If I heard correctly, my jacket got swept over one of my bins, which obscured something. I say they were busy staring at the furry art with the X-ray machine; it wouldn't surprise me if that box had a "furry" setting in addition to the other crazy settings they flip though.
Storms in Salt Lake City delay the arrival of my plane. By the time I get to Utah, the airport's pretty much closed. Welp. Delta gives me meal/taxi/hotel/flight vouchers. During the taxi ride to my airport I meet some Intel guy working for on leveraging memory across various architectures for cloud computer processing or something as well as a retired Delta pilot who says Delta will always be delayed Sunday nights V:
After checking in I play around the hotel gym awhile (it's like 10PM so no one's there) and discover my meal ticket doesn't work because the restaurant at the hotel closed before I got there and opened after I had to leave for the airport.
That MRE I shared the night before would have been nice, but a little starvation in exchange for friendship is a no-brainer - I'm still alive with buddies to show for it :3
Liz finally sends me pictures half a year later. Better late than never!
I wake up, get to the airport. Thankfully the restaurants are open because at this point I haven't eaten for 15 hours whilst carrying my hueg backpack around (the next time I starve like this I will pass out but that’s another story) . My choice (with the help of the cashier) was a blueberry donut, a custard donut, a granola bar, a banannana, and carton of mlik. It's just as well that I didn't get to eat at the hotel: the meal voucher would have bought me either a bowl of grits or two pieces of fruit from the hotel restaurant.
I also see this wonderful picture on the news:
You can't read it, but as I'm about to board my Delta Airlines flight, the news starts talking about three engine failures that happened in the past two days. All on Delta aircraft.
Oh I also took pictures from the air pwane
I land back in SFO more or less intact with woodhorse to greet me...
…. and check into the USO to hang out for awhile. A really nice old man and lady were heading the desk to the military-only section of the airport, I take advantage of their sofas and hang on IRC for awhile
...and then it was all over.
I already miss everyone at this point ):
_/(o_°)/¯ Day Nine ¯\(°_o)\_
A week after MFF we hold DCCAcon. Asto, Simon, and I join two others who couldn't make it to Chicago: Minkles and JD.
I am officially sick at this point. Despite the hundreds of furries I come in contact and the hours spent locked up with people on a plane/Chicago rail, I still blame Liz because it's easier this way and I shared a spoon and one out of three symptoms with her so there.
Tom was kind enough to drive the two of us to Berkelelley. He shows up around 11AM. JD even brought me a bottle of barley tea which was delicious and tasted like coffee! Tea is great on a sore throat; drinking some as I write this. On the way there John and I gossip about DC members, ideal windshield wiper replacement, and how everyone either loves Konou or is disappoint in him. Also, the CD in Yoshitaka's stereo is the exact same one as last time we met - a month ago. Pretty violin music I can never play (and not because I play viola).
We get to our rendezvous point an hour early and discover that the restaurant is barred shut even though it was during their posted operating hours. Somehow, it's Tom's fault. After a phone call, we finally meet up with Minkles Astro Simon.
Minkles has good taste in shirts - we both had on Woot shirts (Minkles had a bandoleer of carrots and I had the Dobar-chu ottershirt). Everyone else wore clothes that didn't really matter.
So we (Astro) choose another place, which was a Greek place I think. Minkles ordered eggplant lasagna, Astro had some sausage thing, and the rest of us had salads and tiny sandwiches. As I order, I realize Simon is trying to find out what's in my unlabeled bottle (which I left at our table to order at the front counter); the cur goes so far as to manhandle my JDpresent. He is sick too at this point but he deserves his sickness for his transgressions :@
At the table we talk about science and our research and our labs and make Simon feel totally alienated with his nonsciency background and lack of headgear. He's sick too but I thought it was just him being the outcast that he is. Regardless, we talk scientifically about putting myopia-inducing monocles on guinea pigs (and suggestions for scale top hats and canes), using the same control to turn on satellites and the bathroom door, squishing insects to acquire sweet sweet gDNA, and corn porn. Simon says something about a motorcycle and compressor which didn't work due to air pressure or something, which is pretty sciency i guess v0v
[PS for you nonsciency types (and some sciency types like me who have bs'd our way to where we are) - a project is the general overall question, like "Does adding certain things to DNA cause behavioral shifts?" while assays are experiments designed to elucidate the question the experiment poses such as "is there methylation in the DNA?" or "do these ants decapitate each other when you put them in the same place?". I think I've heard "experiment" applied equally to both terms but some science weenie somewhere probably has a more exact definition for experiment.]
I am feeling rather tired (which I think only Tom noticed) and don't talk much which works out in the end - I would have just talked more science since I am not hip enough to talk about corn or Tom's rare eye disorder (which Minkles REALLY was interested in, almost unhealthily so). Also, the restaurant plays a Gregorian chant during our first and last meal for the day, right after some song by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
After lunch Minkles had to do some opthamological polymer assay and had to leave. The rest of us follow Asto home and there we hang out; doodling, watching Tom flashing, watching Astro die to Russians in Burger Town's parking lot, and playing with MinkleAstro's cat, Quincy. Quincy is quite a shy cat, but adores earscratches from the comfort of under the couch! We also get an overdose of rapture from the sun and shortly thereafter leave since we all have more important things to do than sit around and enjoy each others company. We talk about fvcking oaths and poofs and I know right? But then it gets lateish and around 7PM? We head home.
I nearly forget to say goodbye to Simon (Tom reminds me in the nick of time); after sleeping in the same bed together I think we have a bond that transcends physical presence but I say goodbye anyway. Tom then drives me home. We discuss our sexuality and I get nominated for DC historian on the way back, and I navigate us down dark unlit streets because it's more fun that way. At home, I feed Tom apple pie with whipped cream and we talk a little before he has to go.
Money can't buy happiness, but it can turn internet friends into irl ones :3 Instead of doing one of 19571 things I have to do, I chose to spend a few days writing this tl;dr so I wouldn't forget anything. There was zero drama that wasn't hilarious and there's been talk about another DCcon in the mountains; I would not hesitate to drop bundles of money to make it there.
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and there is no way it can be of any practical use whatsoever."
- Sidney Harris
"Perhaps they've discovered the giant whoopee cushion I hid
under the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge." http://ozyandmillie.org/2002/01/03/ozy-and-millie-819/
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Josh Woodward, Ohio Singer/Songwriter, offers his songs for free. Give him a listen.
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Scurry, scurry, Scurryous! You might just be the murriest. You certainly are the furriest! Hurry! Scurry! Scurryous!
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OK. pants it. I lied. It's drum and bass. What you gonna do?
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Its probably more like being elderly and walking into a gamestopNo. It's no good, I never have any idea what the hell you lot are talking about most of the time.
It's like walking into an old folks home as the oldies are trying to remember where they left their shoes.
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Do you lurk the forum or just randomly appear every few weeks to complain about how you don't get what's posted?No. It's no good, I never have any idea what the hell you lot are talking about most of the time.
It's like walking into an old folks home as the oldies are trying to remember where they left their shoes.
That was a rhetorical question because from past experience I know my question to Roo will go unanswered.
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Who sleeps shall awake, looking through the window of our lives
Waiting for the moment to arrive...
Show us the silence in the rise,
So that we may someday understand...
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