<Tai> I also didn't need to use my butt-ID
<Tai> it was probably expired anyway
<Tai> I need a new one asap
<Muninn> Mattes, can you give Tai your butt-ID?
<Mattes> sure, if you find it
<Muninn> It's not me who has to look for it
<Muninn> Thankfully
<Tai> all you do is wave your butt near the square and it unlocks the door
<Tai> the wonders of technology today
<Muninn> Is that like the eye scan thing at CERN?
<Muninn> Nick can verify that
<Tai> yes butt,
<Tai> it's harder to cut out someone's butt
<Reynardine> sounds like the rfid locks at my uni
<Tai> more secure this way
<nickspoon> I'm presently enjoying the image of Tai waving his butt at a square.
<Tai> it is indeed rfid, I keep the card in my butt pocket
<Reynardine> although, I'm the only one who uses their butt
<Reynardine> exactly
<nickspoon> I'm unnervingly tempted to do this on the Underground now.
<Tai> do it
<Tai> DO IT
<Muninn> Can you be clothed for it to work?
<Reynardine> of course not
<nickspoon> It would involve jumping about a foot and a half in order to sit on the reader.
<Tai> yes, while I have yet to actually unlock a door with it, I can get it to beep happily and display green
<Tai> I have little use for the labs past 9PM
<Reynardine> there are things that need the card during the day here
<Reynardine> like the library
<Muninn> All of Tai's vigorous butt-leaping at scanners has been captured on CCTV
<Muninn> And will soon wind up on the internet somewhere
<Tai> the readers here are mounted on the wall, it takes effort but it's doable
<Reynardine> ours are conveniently all at butt level
<nickspoon> The readers on the Underground require you to hold the card there for a couple of seconds before the gates open.
<Reynardine> SEPTA card readers aren't rfid, they're magnetic strip, so you have to slide it and can't do it with your butt :C
<nickspoon> Unless...
<Muninn> Yes, the solution is simple
<Muninn> You'll need some firm buttocks though
<Muninn> And good butt-to-eye coordination
<nickspoon> Not a problem.
<Muninn> I think I've used the word "butt" more in the past 20 minutes than I ever have in this chat before
<nickspoon> Butt butt butt.
<Muninn> I have a great fwiend in Wome called Biggus Dickus
<Muninn> Do you know what his wife is called?
<Muninn> Incontinetia Buttocks
<nickspoon> I'll have you know that he is a high wanking officer in the Woman army!
...
<nickspoon> Tai Tai Tai
<Tai> niiick
<Tai> I've got it
<Tai> I've got the butt
<nickspoon> You certainly do.
<Tai> i videotyped myself showing me using Butt-ID
<nickspoon> I must see this.
<Tai> and with one quick thrust, the locks loosed a wistful BEEP, and the secret doors opened themselves to me
<Tai> it will not be uploaded
<Tai> not for at least 6 hours
<nickspoon> I will check back in 6 hours.
<Tai> I don't have the phone to PC cord, it's 50 miles away
<nickspoon> bluetoof
<Tai> I did not anticipate my usage of Butt-ID
<Tai> hm
<Tai> pretty sure this comp doens't have it
<nickspoon> Shame
...
<Tai> and now I'm a happy Tai, uploading how-to videos regarding how to extract DNA
<Tai> and soon, butt-ID
<c> lol Tai what
<c> what exactly is a butt ID
<Tai> doog get out you don't come here anymore
<c> -___-
<Tai> it's what you do to identify yourself
<c> whatever you say fritz
<Tai> with a single bottox
<c> but does it do it by the distribution of weight or what
<Tai> tl;dr rfid card in butt pocket
<c> oh lol
<Tai> oh doog-chan
<nickspoon> It's nicer to think that it actually analyses your butt.
<Tai> HELLO YOUTUBERS CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR SUCCESSFUL PURCHASE OF BUTT-ID
<Tai> IN THIS VIDEO TUTORIAL YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO USE YOUR BUTT-ID
<Tai> I had to do three takes of the video, the first one is tl;dr in my opinion
<nickspoon> STEP ONE: WIGGLE BUTT IN PROXIMITY OF SENSOR
<Tai> the second time someone came up to me from the slanting stairs and I had to explain what I was doing, trying not to use the word butt-id
<c> lol
<nickspoon> Haha.
<Tai> I wonder just how much of my performance she saw
<nickspoon> I suspect that, had she seen all of it, she would have understood perfectly.
<Tai> that was today's adventure
...
Muninn> Tai, do you have the link to your butt ID video handy?
<Tai> it is perpetually in my clipboard:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zL54fHT8g8
<Tai> I have a need to share my butt-ID link with everyone
